COACHES' CORNER.

STEVE SPURRIER, after the Miami Dolphins were slaughtered, 62-7, by the Tennessee Titans, when asked whether he'd be interested in coaching the Dolphins: "No, but I'd be interested in puffing them on my schedule."

SHAUN POWELL, describing Ryan Tucker, St. Louis Rams lineman, in Newsday: "He weighs 300 pounds, runs the 440 in 2 weeks, moves like a glacier, and if he gets a good lift on a jump, he can clear a sheet of paper."

GREGG AIELLO, NFL vice-president, on what it would take for Nashville to host a Super Bowl: "Global warming."

PAT RILEY, on what Dennis Rodman meant when he said he was considering playing with one of two warm-weather planets: "He was talking about Mars and Mercury."

LEE TREVINO, on why he gave up playing on public courses: "Every time I put down my bag to look for my ball in the rough, I'd find the ball but never the bag when I got back on the fairway."

SAM SNEAD, on why he took up golf: "You don't have to quit when you get old."

DAN HENNING, veteran pro football coach, on the worst experience in his career: "After losing my first nine games, I called Dial-A-Prayer and they hung up on me."

JOHNNY DEE, former basketball coach at Notre Dame, when feuding with Adolph Rupp: "So he has won 800 games. But 500 were against SEC teams. That's like me going to Texas with kids from Canada and starting a hockey league."

MILLIE IONIZIO, former women's bowling champion, to what she attributed her better than 200 average: "I couldn't have done it without my bowling ball."

BILL VEECK, after filing for bankruptcy: "The great thing about going broke is that you don't have to hide from the IRS."

FRANK DEFORD, of Sports Illustrated, on why the NFL could never put a team in the North Pole: "During the winters, the backs could never run for daylight."

JOE GARAGIOLA, on why the Florida Marlins are like a bad dating service: "A lot of singles, but no scoring."

JOHN UPDIKE, the famous novelist, on why Ted Williams didn't acknowledge cheers: "Does God answer letters?"

SPARKY ANDERSON, Hall of Fame manager, on the happiest day of his life: "When Topps took my playing statistics off my card and put my managerial record on."

JERRY KRAMER, when a sportswriter asked him whether the dumbest thing he ever heard was Vince Lombardi telling his team that as long as they wore the gold and green of the Green Bay Packers, there was no way they could lose: "No, that wasn't the dumbest thing. The dumbest thing was that we believed him."