COACH K & THE `KID' : A KINDRED SPIRIT DEVELOPS BETWEEN LAVIN, KRZYZEWSKI.

Byline: Jon Wilner Daily News Staff Writer

When Steve Lavin glances at the Duke bench this morning at Pauley Pavilion, he'll see the coach he hopes to become.

When Mike Krzyzewski peers down the UCLA bench, he'll see the coach he once was.

``I liken Steve's situation to when I got the job at Duke,'' Krzyzewski said. ``I was 32, and nobody knew how to spell `Krzyzewski.' ''

When Lavin, 32, became UCLA's coach in November, one of his first calls was to Krzyzewski. They have talked once a month since - continuing a relationship that began in the mid-'80s, when Lavin wrote Krzyzewski for advice about breaking into the coaching business.

Krzyzewski wrote back each time, and Lavin keeps the treasured correspondences in his office, next to letters from legendary coaches John Wooden and Pete Newell.

``Coach K is my No. 1 role model in terms of what I want to be as a coach,'' Lavin said. ``He's also someone I've turned to at critical times in my career.''

What's the attraction? Krzyzewski, with his two NCAA titles and seven Final Fours, was drawn immediately to a name on Lavin's resume: Bud Presley, the former Menlo (Calif.) College coach whose practices Krzyzewski attended decades ago.

Presley and Lavin's father, Cap, are longtime friends.

``I knew if Steve had Bud's OK, then he was a good guy,'' Krzyzewski said. ``And as I've gotten to know Steve, I've been impressed with his honesty and his insatiable appetite for the game. . . . I just turned 50, and I still have that appetite.''

For Lavin, who has 16 wins to his name, Krzyzewski represented the ideal modern coach - combining 1950s discipline with the compassion, energy and communication skills necessary to deal with players of the '90s.

He can be tough and tender, forceful and funny, all while convincing the players he has their best interest at heart.

``I think Steve sees Krzyzewski as a kindred spirit,'' Cap Lavin said. ``He admires the way Krzyzewski works with people. It's an intuitive quality that happens to be more developed in coach Krzyzewski than most people.''

They met for the first time in 1989, when Lavin assisted Purdue coach Gene Keady at the U.S. World University Games tryouts. Krzyzewski was the selection committee chief, and at each turn he found the young, energetic assistant who relished every minute with the man called Coach K.

``I was always hounding him,'' Lavin said. ``I'd say, `Can I spend an hour with you?' I was probably a pain in his butt. He had more important things to do than talk to a 23-year-old punk.''

But Krzyzewski found time. He told Lavin the four keys to coaching: find a great wife; maintain your humility; keep your passion for teaching; and outwork your opponent. Lavin gobbled every morsel of advice, then asked for more. They'd talk defense and discipline, how to win and how to deal with losing. Lavin fetched coffee, made airport runs, whatever was needed.

In 1995, a few months after his defensive strategy helped UCLA to the national title, Lavin interviewed for an assistant job at Duke. The timing wasn't right for either party, and he returned to UCLA as Jim Harrick's No. 2 assistant. But the experience was invaluable. Lavin spent four days with Krzyzewski, his family, and their dog, Defense.

``I think he has another dog named Stance,'' Lavin said.

When he replaced Harrick on Nov. 6, Lavin turned to his support system: Cap, Keady, Wooden, Newell and Krzyzewski, whose advice had little to do with X's and O's.

``He told me to make sure I concentrated on the basketball family and cultivating relationships with the players,'' Lavin said. ``When you're the head coach there are so many distractions that you forget the main course, the filet mignon. The appetizers are the media and the boosters and speaking engagements.''

Despite stacks of phone messages and dozens of handshakes waiting to happen, Lavin has stayed true to his idol's advice.

Friday he ordered the disgruntled Bruins to run wind sprints, then ended the workout with smiles all around.

Afterward, he spent 30 minutes counseling Jelani McCoy and Kris Johnson.

``It appears Steve couldn't have done too much better a job in the transition,'' Krzyzewski said. ``He's a very, very good coach. He has a great respect for the game, and it appears his team has adapted well.''

He learned from the master.

CAPTION(S):

3 Photos

Photo: (1--color) ``Coach K is my No. 1 role model in terms of what I want to be as a coach. He's also someone I've turned to at critical times in my career.''

Steve Lavin

UCLA coach

(2--color) ``As I've gotten to know Steve, I've been impressed with his honesty and his insatiable appetite for the game.''

Mike Krzyzewski

Duke coach

(3--color) A gentle but stern relationship with his players, as Steve Lavin demonstrates here with Kris Johnson, is what impressed Lavin about Mike Krzyzewski.

Daily News File Photo