CLOUD CUCKOO BLAND; Pogatetz and Co must wake up and face up to danger of relegation before it's too late In association with COMMERCIAL VEHICLES.Byline: BY MIKE WALTERS FULHAM 3 BORO 0 EMANUEL POGATETZ has mounted a cuckoo clock on the wall at Middlesbrough's training ground to give the Smoggies' timekeeping an Alpine flavour. And after their limp surrender at Craven Cottage, anyone who thinks freefalling Boro are not yet in the grip of a relegation battle is living in cloud cuckoo land. With daunting Christmas fixtures against Everton and Manchester United, the Teessiders could be in the bottom three before Auld Lang Syne Auld Lang Syne closing song of New Year’s Eve. [Music: Leach, 91] See : Farewell . So until they pull out of their nosedive nose·dive n. 1. A very steep dive of an aircraft. 2. A sudden, swift drop or plunge: Stock prices took a nosedive. Noun 1. - one point from a possible 18 - Boro will be in the dark mood to kill a - mockingbird mockingbird: see mimic thrush. mockingbird Any of several New World birds of a family (Mimidae) known for their mimicry of birdsong. The common, or northern, mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos) can imitate the songs of 20 or more species within 10 whenever Pogatetz's cuckoo springs out of its ornate nest every hour. And skipper Poggy warned they will be in even deeper trouble if they lose England winger Stewart Downing, a pounds 15million target for Tottenham, and Turkish axis Tuncay Sanli in the transfer window. On the evidence of this derisory stroll by the Thames towpath, boss Gareth Southgate is facing a long haul until the first real cuckoo of spring. Boro left Putney Bridge complaining of the outrageously harshpenalty for handball against Tony McMahon when they trailed only 1-0, but don't fall for that red herring Red Herring A preliminary registration statement that must be filed with the SEC describing a new issue of stock (IPO) and the prospects of the issuing company. Notes: . Following Julio Arca's ghastly tackle on Andy Johnson eight minutes before the break, they should have been down to 10 men anyway and Fulhamdeserved to romp it after a keep-ball masterclass. Southgate's team is packed with attacking players and good intentions - but none of them can hit the back end of a double decker with a frying pan. Jeremie Aliadiere? Greased lightning, but not enough goals. Tuncay? Great first touch, shame about the finishing. Downing? Played as if he was day-dreaming of a move to Spurs. Afonso Alves? Never left the bench at Craven Cottage, and at pounds 12m he's been the biggest turkey since Bernard Matthews discovered poultry farming. Mido? Do not disturb Do not disturb usually referes to a status where the subject prefers to be left in solitary. It can also mean the following:
In the past, Boro could rely on Yakubu and Mark Viduka's goals to keep them clear of quicksand quicksand State in which water-saturated sand loses its supporting capacity and acquires the characteristics of a liquid. Quicksand is usually found in a hollow at the mouth of a large river or along a flat stretch of stream or beach where pools of water become partly filled , but their successors are lightweight in more ways than one. Nor have Boro adequately replaced Mark Schwarzer, who left the Riverside after 11 seasons last summer: the Aussie keeper has leaked only five goals in his last 11 games for Fulham. Pogatetz admitted: "It was one of our worst performances this season. We were a bit unlucky to go 2-0 down with the penalty, but we shouldn't hide behind that decision because we deserved to lose. "It worries me because that was just not good enough. "I am always disappointed when we lose, but this was different to losing at Hull because of a refereeing decision. "We didn't want it as much as Fulham and that's why I'm hurt. "It's very important we bounce back against Everton on Boxing Day because the table is very tight and we are at the wrong end of it. "We can't afford to lose Downing or Tuncay. We have to keep hold of our best players - I mean, we have sold a few players over the last couple of years and didn't bring in a lot of replacements. This is a very young, inexperienced squad who have a bright future. "But the likes of Downing and Tuncay are vital to our team because they are both international players with experience. "I still believe in the squad we have got. But some of the players have to understand our standards should be higher." Slick Fulham, unbeaten in seven games, never looked back after hot property Jimmy Bullard opened the scoring five minutes before the interval. Skipper Danny Murphy's penalty and the unmarked Clint Dempsey took them over the horizon, leaving Bullard's long-term future as the only hitch to a memorable 2008 at the Cottage. Murphy said: "This is the best squad Fulham have had in a long time. Jimmy is an integral partofit and there's no way we want our best players to leave. "I hope Jimmy can sort it out because we all know what an asset he is to us on the pitch and his enthusiasm is infectious - he has a great effect on the players around him. "When it's dull and flat he's the one trying to make things happen and get us going." FULHAM: Schwarzer 6, Pantsil 7, Hughes 7, Hangeland 8, Konchesky 6, Murphy 8 (Etuhu, 79), Bullard 7 (Andreasen, 85), Davies 7, Dempsey 7, Gera 4 (Zamora, 31, 7), Johnson 6. Goals: Bullard 41, Murphy (54 pen), Dempsey 59 BORO: Turnbull 6, McMahon 6, Riggott 6, Huth 5 (Taylor, 85), Pogatetz 6, Shawky 4, Arca 4(Mido, 46, 5), Johnson 5 (Emnes, 80), Downing 5, Tuncay 7, Aliadiere 5. REFEREE: Keith Stroud ATT ATT ammonia tolerance test. : 23,722 COMPUTER FULHAM MIDDLESBROUGH ROY'S BOYS ARE ON A ROLL BALL POSSESSION FULHAM 59% MIDDLESBROUGH 41% FACE TO FACE 5 Corners 5 6 Offside 1 82% Pass completion 72% 18 Tackles 16 12 Fouls 8 0 Cards 2 SHOTS 7 off target 7 9 on target 5 YOU THE MANAGER MAN OF THE MATCH (Worth an extra two Fantasy League points) Danny Murphy (FULHAM) 8 Keep Britain tidy Keep Britain Tidy is a British campaign run by the ENCAMS environmental charity, which is part funded by the U.K. government. The majority of their campaigning is around the issue of litter. They have been using 'Keep Britain Tidy' as their slogan for almost fifty years. - give him the ball and admire the neat passing VILLAIN OF THE MATCH Julio Arca (BORO) 4 Shocking tackle on Johnson deserved red card, no wonder he was hauled off ANORAK Fulham have never lost a match when Jimmy Bullard scores (won three, drawn four) NEXT THREE GAMES FULHAM Friday: Tottenham (a) Prem Sunday: Chelsea (h) Prem Sat Jan 3: Sheff Wed (a) FA Cup MIDDLEBRO Friday: Everton (h) Prem Mon Dec 29: Man Utd (a) Prem Sat Jan 3: Barrow (h) FA Cup CAPTION(S): HORRIFIC Arca's stamp on Johnson; CRUEL McMahon handball; JUMPING JIM Jim Miss Watson’s runaway slave; Huck’s traveling companion. [Am. Lit.: Huckleberry Finn] See : Escape Midfielder Bullard celebrates his goal; GOD ALP (language) ALP - A list processing extension of Mercury Autocode. ["ALP, An Autocode List-Processing Language", D.C. Cooper et al, Computer J 5:28-31, 1962]. US Pogatetz has installed a cuckoo clock; I'M SPOT ON Robert Huth protests but ref Keith Stroud insists it's a penalty |
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