CLIPPERS DON'T NEED ARTEST.

Byline: RICH HAMMOND 

Anyone believe the Dodgers would take back Milton Bradley? Think the Lakers have Dennis Rodman's agent on speed dial, ready to make a deal?

There's a reason certain athletes are known as malcontents.

So why, then, did the Clippers even entertain the notion of trading for Ron Artest? Did they not learn from his current employers, the Sacramento Kings? Or the Indiana Pacers? How about the Chicago Bulls?

Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy reportedly said he believes he can handle Artest. In other news, Dunleavy thinks that time travel and flying cars are just a few weeks from invention. Who are we kidding here?

Dunleavy, a genial but demanding coach, can't even get along with Corey Maggette, who isn't a bad guy. What exactly makes Dunleavy, or anyone else in the Clippers organization, think this would work out?

We're talking about Ron Artest. You know, the guy who wanted time off to promote a rap album?

Artest had his chance. After his trade to Sacramento, he glowed with happiness and told everyone within earshot how happy he was to join the Kings. And that lasted, what, a good 78 hours or so?

Regardless of what the standings say, the Clippers are on the verge of something good here, for years to come. When healthy, the roster is talented and several of its major cogs are locked up with long-term deals. Adding Artest would be the equivalent of throwing a live grenade into the locker room.

Don't do it, Elgin. The temptation is strong and it would get great headlines, but don't risk it.

Look, there are two realities for the Clippers right now: They need to trade Maggette, and this just isn't going to be their year.

The first one they recognize. The second one, they're still coming to grips with.

Everyone got excited about the Clippers after last season's playoff run, and rightfully so, but they have suffered from a somewhat-predictable hangover and are reeling from the loss of injured Sam Cassell.

Even at 37, Cassell is the engine that drives the Clippers.

He's not just a vocal leader. He's a steady influence on the court who consistently makes solid passes and comes up with a big shot now and then.

But here's the problem: Cassell has plantar fasciitis. For those who don't know what it is, don't worry about it. Just know that it has to do with the foot, and it's bad. Even a player in his prime would probably be out for a month, and Cassell, while in good shape, isn't going to recover as fast at his advanced age.

Of course, you can never write off aseason in December. Who knows, the Clippers might make an amazing run in January with Cassell on the bench. But really, how likely is that?

So here's the deal: Try to get a lottery-protected first-round pick and a serviceable guard, one who can contribute now, in exchange for Maggette. Ride out this season and draft well after the year ends.

The Clippers already flubbed this once. They might have had a shot at Allen Iverson if they were willing to give up Shaun Livingston, but they weren't. To those who say Iverson is just as bad as Artest, point taken, except that Iverson has led a team to the NBA Finals.

Artest has just been a royal pain.

Add Artest: In this week's reality-defying interview, Geoff Petrie, the Kings' president of basketball operations, talked to the Sacramento Bee and tried to put a good spin on the Artest mess.

Petrie attempted to downplay Artest's unhappiness in Sacramento and described Artest by saying the player ``has some esoteric qualities.'' That's the public-relations spin of the decade, until you read this.

``His happiness level is fine,'' Petrie told the paper. Anyone remember the scene in Star Wars, when Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled the Jedi mind trick on the stormtroopers who were looking for the droids?

Yeah.

Petrie continued, ``I guess you could sum (the trade talk) up this way. It's a lot of noise, mostly white noise, like when a hen oodles -- wow, lays an egg -- and it makes a sound like it made a meteor.''

Really, Geoff, are you feeling OK?

Looking Grizzly: OK, who wants to coach the Memphis Grizzlies? Anyone?

Mike Fratello took the fall Thursday, which pretty much had to happen since the Grizzlies had a 6-24record and had lost fiveconsecutive games and 11 of their past 12. But it wasn't Fratello's fault.

Even though it's practically LosAngeles sacrilege to criticize Jerry West, a part of so much Lakers success, he seems to have hit a wall in Memphis in terms of pushing the Grizzlies to the next level.

West did a great job in constructing a team that made the playoffs threeconsecutive seasons, but a decision to remake the roster with a youth movement hasn't turned out well. Pau Gasol has been injured, Mike Miller isn't a top-level scorer and the Lakers already tried Chucky Atkins at point guard.

The one good thing is that Memphis will have salary-cap room at the end of this season and could attract a big-name player and a big-name coach. Have Larry Brown's ears perked up in the past few days?

Odd choice: Former Lakers guard Devin Green, who had spent this season with the D-Fenders of the D-League, chose this week to sign a deal with a professional league in Germany.

That, in itself, isn't odd until you consider that Green had been playing well in the D-League and NBA teams can sign players to 10-day contracts starting in less than two weeks. Green wouldn't have gotten a shot with the Lakers, but there's a good chance that a guard-starved team would have picked him up.

T time: How bad are things going for the Seattle SuperSonics these days? They're getting technical fouls called when they argue with each other, or so it seemed Thursday night.

In a game against Denver, Seattle teammates Chris Wilcox and Damien Wilkins appeared to collide, the Seattle Times reported. As they talked, apparently in a heated fashion, a technical foul was called on Wilcox, who already had picked up onetechnical in the game, and he was ejected.

The Sonics were left flummoxed as to what Wilcox had done.

``I don't know what (Wilcox) said,'' Wilkins told the paper, ``but I know he was talking to me.''

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CAPTION(S):

2 photos, 6 boxes

Photo:

(1) The Sacramento Kings' Ron Artest has a history of being a malcontent.

Rocky Widner/Getty Images

(2) Allen Iverson should help Denver become a force in the Western Conference.

Sue Ogrock/Associated Press

Box:

(1) THEY SAID IT

(2) NUMBERS GAME

(3) DON'T UNPACK YET

(4) WADE HAS ARRIVED

(5) DAILY NEWS CBS 2/KCAL 9 SPORTS CENTRAL POWER

(6) THIS WEEK'S BEST BET