CHILDREN'S EATING HABITS A CONSTANT PARENTAL WORRY.

Byline: Karen Engberg Knight-Ridder Tribune News Wire

``Why do you have to be so picky?'' an exasperated mom asked her young son. The two were standing in a grocery store aisle, the child complaining about something his mother had just put in the cart. ``Why,'' the woman persisted, ``can't you be like other kids and just ... just ... eat?''

Sooner or later, most parents do verbal battle with kids about food. From the time babies fall asleep while nursing to the time teens worry about their weight in high school, parents' anxieties about the well-being of their children revolve around food.

With the exception of a few bona fide reasons to worry - food allergies, diabetes and the like - far too much emphasis is placed on what young children eat. Often, preschoolers pick at breakfast and bring home their lunchbox seemingly untouched.

By the time they snub the chicken, rice and broccoli placed in front of them at dinner, their mothers are certain starvation is under way. In most cases, however, when kids get hungry enough, they eat.

The tendency of parents to fixate on what their children consume stems from a number of things. A parent who has been, or is, overweight may begin to worry about a child's body weight before the child has learned to smile. In this situation, the process of feeding takes on a pervasive angst about whether enough is enough or too much.

Then there are parents who nurture picky eaters by focusing all their concerns about a child onto what he eats. While these parents will try anything to get the kid to eat, the child sees it as a game and quickly becomes adept at using a well-timed ``yuck'' to get attention.

Genetics, we are told with increasing frequency, plays a large role in people's tendency to eat lots or little. So, too, however, do different tastes at different ages: Many foods that have general appeal for adults are guaranteed turnoffs for kids.

Children like to be able to identify what they are eating, which may make them resistant to precisely those meals that have taken Mom or Dad the most time to create. What a parent interprets as difficult behavior toward food at the dinner table may stem from a genuine dislike of, or aversion to, what is being served.

What may really drive a parent crazy, though, is a child's refusal to even taste what is being served. ``How do you know you don't like it if you won't even taste it,'' chides Mom. ``I've had it before,'' says the kid. ``No, you haven't,'' says mom emphatically. ``At least, try it.'' In no time, Mom is upset, the kid is pouting, and dinner is a disaster.

Where food and kids come together, a matter-of-fact approach is the name of the game. Children should never be forced to eat, nor should they be made to consume everything on their plates. At the same time, while an effort to serve food that agrees with a child is helpful, it is not necessary for a parent to jump through hoops before each meal just to satisfy a picky eater. If concern exists about whether a child is getting sufficient nutrition, a daily vitamin can take care of a child's nutritional needs and the parents' worries.

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Photo: It really doesn't matter if ``well-balanced'' doesn't describe a child's every meal or snack. With the exception of a few bona fide reasons to worry - food allergies, diabetes and the like - far too much emphasis is placed on what young children eat.

Lori Valesko/Daily News