CHIC; ON PLAYERS: OVER-RATED, OVERPAID AND WITH EGOS SO BIG THEY NEED A POSTCODE.

Byline: HUGH KEEVINS

CHIC CHARNLEY was one of a generation of players whose idea of careful nutrition was to put a fresh orange juice in their vodka.

But the man who was sent off 17 times in a career that reads like an instruction manual on wayward behaviour believes the ailing Scottish game could do with a few more rascals.

The English don't want anything to do with the Old Firm, crowds are on the wane and the players, under the strictest fitness regime of any ever known in the SPL, are falling down on the job.

Charnley has a theory about that. The man who once went on a bender in Portugal rather than going to Canada on an end-of-season tour with his beloved Celtic thinks there are too many dedicated professionals going about.

Speaking at Firhill at the launch of his book (Seeing Red, Black and White Publishing, pounds 14.99) he said: "There are players today who wouldn't know a ball from a banana. They're over-rated, overpaid and have egos so large they have their own postcode.

"The game here could do with some more characters because the punters are telling the people who run the clubs they want to see something different. It's time to let the players go out and do what they're good at instead of restricting them."

But Charnley won't be using his 18 years of experience with everyone from Partick Thistle to Tarff Rovers to move into management and produce the cavalier players he thinks the game needs.

He said: "I gave up on the SFA coaching course after one day. I found myself in a hall for a lecture beside two pregnant women and three teachers who had obviously never been on a football pitch in their lives.

Batter

"I remember telling Gordon Strachan the story and he said a player of my experience should have bypassed that stage but it put me off for good."

Charnley's also honest enough to admit if he was starting out in the game today, blessed with the natural ability he couldn't complement with a sense of discipline, he wouldn't have fitted in.

He said: "I'd have been afraid to earn the kind of money that's going about today. I'd have gone out on the batter and treated football like a job on the oil rigs.

"I'd have been on for two weeks then off for another two while I enjoyed myself.

"Getting 20 grand a week would probably havedone me in."

Living on a meagre wage during one of his four stints at Partick Thistle wasn't good for his health either as he still bears the scars from the day he was attacked by a sword-waving yob after training.

Charnley said: "Rangers have Murray Park and Jags had Ruchill Park. I was getting grief from two punters during training and invited them back for a meeting after we'd finished for the day.

"I didn't think they'd show up but when they did they had a devil dog for company. One guy had a samurai sword and the other had a dagger. I went for them wielding a traffic cone we'd been using at training.

"The first thing that happened was the devil dog ran away. I got cut on the hand and the scar remains to this day but eventually my two assailants joined the dog down the road."

Hitting people back was more or less an occupational hazard for Charnley and the 17 red cards he was shown only told about half the story.

They don't cover the time, for example, when he hit his manager, Alex Miller, with a pair of boots when they were at Hibs together. He was then released from Easter Road.

Or the time when he lost his job at Clydebank after flattening coach Tony Gervaise. And there was the rammy in the tunnel at Love Street when Charnley, then at St Mirren, cracked Darren Jackson's jaw and prompted a melee involving the rival managers Davie Hay and Dundee United's Jim McLean.

He said: "I was brought up in Possil, a hardy part of Glasgow, and my ma told me I had to hit people back as a survival mechanism.

"There'sno doubt the suspensions I kept picking up held my career back. Who was going to take a chance on someone who was always sitting in the stand?

"The only one who could handle my indiscretions was John Lambie at Partick Thistle because he took other clubs' rejects and gave them a sense of belief - as long as they could play a bit in the first place."

But the indiscretion to end them all where Charnley was concerned was the decision to go on the bevvy rather than go with Celtic and try to win a permanent move therebyimpressing Lou Macari on a tour of Canada in 1994.

Testimonial

He said: "It was the end of the season and I'd gone out with my pals to enjoy myself, little knowing Louie wanted me to turn out for Celtic in a testimonial match down at Manchester United

"I had to make up a story about collecting my boots at Firhill because I couldn't make Celtic's bus in time for the journey to Manchester. But I finally got there, helped Celtic win the game in Mark Hughes' honour and I've still got the jersey I wore that night 15 years ago.

"But I went to the Algarve for Thistle's end-of-season party and was told Louie had dumped me long distance from Canada by saying if I'd wanted to play for Celtic I'd have been there with him.

"As it turned out he didn't last any longer than me. Louie got the sack and Tommy Burns took over. I wish I could have played for him.

"I still regret that moment and if I had to live my life all over again I'd probably change 99 per cent of it."

CAPTION(S):

TAKE IT AS RED: Chic Charnley is at another chapter in his life now but his colourful career is brought to life again in the pages of his book