CHERISHED MOMENTS WITH CHILDREN IRREPLACEABLE.

Byline: Kathleen Vallee Stein

HE liked to throw his weight back and forth. It threw me off balance but I kept going. One summer evening at dusk when my son was 18 months old, I peddled along on my bike with him in his favorite seat, close behind me in the baby backpack.

He raised his little arms above his head and waved his entire body back and forth in pure joy. After a hot summer day, gliding along on the bicycle, the cool evening air refreshed him. Oblivious to the danger of throwing his mom off balance on the wobbly bicycle, he knew he was safe. I was doing my job.

I have a thousand such memories with my children. Those little snapshots in time console me now that both children are off in the world, with lives of their own. I fear moms today are in a big hurry and may deprive themselves of those moments, to their own peril.

Now that my children are grown, I have my share of regrets, but I am grateful that I took the time to raise them myself. I have a vast warehouse of sweet memories that cushion me when I miss them. My memories of their childhood are crowded with walks to the park, decorating sugar cookies with colorful icing and making homemade gifts for grandma and grandpa. Not one can be replaced.

I used to lecture young mothers on the importance of enjoying their children while they are young. Now that I am older and wiser, I got off that soapbox and now commiserate with them when they complain about the noise, the mess and the constant lack of sleep that comes with raising children.

Mothers receive a peculiar blessing. They are presented with a perfect human being at the end of a grueling session of pain, blood and fear. At the point they are most exhausted, the little creature they would lay down their life for will not sleep. After their body has been in constant service for almost a year, it is called upon to provide nourishment for a baby who can easily emit a piercing cry for hours, without taking a breath.

Many mothers I know feel overwhelmed after giving birth, burdened with love, worry and pain. It comes all at once and must be experienced then and there. Babies do not wait. Their tiny, early bud of life lasts for one short moment. Mothers who do not heed the huge demands of their newborn baby, do so at great cost, to both of them.

Mothers and their new babies must be kept free from the cares of the world so they can sit in the dark and rock. They must have time to look out the window together and gather strength. After ear-splitting screams flow into soft baby breaths, mothers must have time to absorb the soft night air with its promise of sleep.

Sometimes I recall my days as a new mother while I walk my dogs after work. Though they aren't in a backpack, they do enjoy the cool evening breeze. They don't throw me off balance; their greatest demand is for a refill of their water dish, a doggie treat and a pat on the head. I easily meet their needs before I retire to a refreshing night's sleep.

I know why mothers tear up when they recall a memory of their children when they were small. I, too, have shed a tear when gazing at baby pictures of my son and daughter. Mothers share a pang when they reminisce. However, most of us retire, dry-eyed and grateful, as we snuggle under the covers for an undisturbed night's sleep.