CHEERS TO RAISING KIDS THEIR OWN WAY.

Byline: SANDY SAND Local View

HOLD on to your goblets, moms!

The ink is hardly dry on the story about moms who share a moment of conviviality and relaxation with a bit of vino while supervising their kids' play dates. Yet you can make book that by the time this gets into print, Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, will have already picked up her do-gooder pen to write legislation outlawing moms from drinking while their kids are awake.

Lieber could combine her no-spanking-kids law with a no-wine-or-beer-while-tending-to-the-tots law, and swat two menaces to society with one whack.

The object of the latest parenting controversy is one beleaguered mother, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor of Encino, who thought she was being helpful to other mothers in the same position by appearing on the ``Tots and Tonic'' segment of the ``Today'' show.

Lesson: Don't ever air publicly what you do privately.

One very public critic, ``Today'' host Meredith Vieira, said: ``How would you feel if it were a bunch of baby sitters sitting around with alcohol and you're at work? Would that be OK?''

Bad analogy. We're not talking baby sitters here. People we pay to watch our children; people doing the job for money who naturally aren't going to care for our kids as much as we do.

As someone who's been there, done that, by raising three kids, I can say we're not talking about mothers who are falling-down drunk here, we're talking about relaxing with friends over a drink while the kidlets are at play.

I empathize with Wilder-Taylor.

There is nothing more satisfying and joyful than being a parent. Conversely, it's also the most aggravating and stressful thing on earth. Today's parents are constantly worrying whether they're dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's, and must stand up to withering criticism from their own moms, moms-in-law and everyone else who has a child-rearing opinion.

It's no wonder that an afternoon glass of Chablis is more than welcome. If it helps moms to ease the tension, and makes it easier to put together a puppet show or separate the squabblers who are having a tug of war over a toy, more power to them. The vivid memories of all those days, when at around four in the afternoon and everyone's sugar and energy levels have dropped to zero, can never be erased. Nor are all the times forgotten when rather than taking my frustrations out on the kids, it was far more preferable to pop the top off a bottle of beer -- wine gives me an awful headache and would have made matters worse. I'd park them in front of the best baby sitter, the TV, and compare the kiddy notes of the day with a telephone friend while cooking dinner all at the same time.

Wilder-Taylor and friends are neither right nor are they wrong; they are parenting ``their'' way. And there is more than one way to be a good parent. If Wilder-Taylor needs someone to commiserate with about all the flak she's getting, I'm here with glass of Chardonnay in one hand and a bottle of brew in the other, ready to listen.