CHECKLIST: THE ELEVATOR SPEECH.

Ever notice that venture firms almost always operate out of low-rise office buildings? That's probably no accident: VCs who ride elevators risk excessive exposure to the notorious "elevator speech," one of the technology world's most painful afflictions. Given a choice of walking on hot coals, eating airline food, or listening to an elevator speech, most rational people will leap onto the hot coals.

What is it that makes elevator speeches so deadly? Almost invariably, the speaker and the listener are total strangers, so there's not even a presumption of shared interests. Instead, the speaker just rattles on at high speed, hoping a random phrase will snag the listener's attention. A good salesman starts a conversation by learning about the listener's hot buttons; elevator speeches are deadly because they treat the listener like a blank wall.

Still, the basic idea of an elevator speech--a concise explanation of what a company does--is incredibly important. Top executives who are hopelessly tongue-tied about their business are only part of the problem. Usually, there's also a ripple effect: Their employees can't explain the company, the marketing consultants go off on tangents, and investors grumble about lack of focus. In the end, a powerful elevator speech is the single most powerful statement a company can make about itself; all other descriptions of positioning, corporate mission, and business models flow from the "who are we" message.

So here's our checklist of qualities that make elevator speeches more effective:

* Does the company description actually describe anything? New technologies can be tricky to explain, but that's no excuse for pretentious language and jargon about the basic business model. A good test is to ask customers to listen to your company explanation and rephrase it: If they feed back gibberish, the message really isn't working.

* Is there a narrative line? Customers, investors, and the press love to tell stories about companies that can circulate for years. Philippe Khan's Borland International is still remembered as a gutsy startup that bought ad space it couldn't pay for until a flood of orders came in. Nieman-Marcus is so customer-friendly that a sales clerk issued a refund for a tire the store hadn't even sold. Steve Jobs came back to Apple and restored the company to profitability. People make judgments about companies on the basis of quasi-mythical tales like these, so it's worth making the stories a core part of the elevator speech.

* Does the elevator speech imply a selling proposition? Compelling elevator speeches don't focus on a company's proudest technology achievements, its wonderful executives, or its fabulously wealthy investors. Rather, the best speeches usually suggest great customer benefits. "We're the guys who save banks a penny on every check they process" is far more powerful than "We develop advanced financial transaction processing systems."

* Does the speech need a long-winded preamble? An elevator speech should never start with a history lesson or, worse, ask the listener to think about the world in a new way. (Research that "validates" the market opportunity is another red flag.) Analyzing problems is easy; finding an innovative solution to these problems is what makes a company great--and interesting.

* Does the story require props? Too many executives these days seem unable to talk without PowerPoint slides full of pyramids, quadrants, flow charts, and other visual cliches. Ultimately, an elevator speech shouldn't sound like a speech at all. It should feel natural and unrehearsed, like the kind of spontaneous conversation two strangers might strike up if they were trapped in a broken elevator for an hour.