CHAOS, UNCERTAINTY, DANGER CHALLENGING THE RAPIDS A REAL THRILL RIDE.

Byline: BILL BECHER

KERNVILLE - Taylor Burch, an architect who helps design theme-park rides, is jammed into his seven-foot whitewater kayak on a rock ledge 15 feet above the Kern River as he prepares for a real adventure.

Burch and two kayaking buddies are doing a seal launch - scooting their boats over the edge and free falling into the water. One by one they splash down, disappear for a moment and then pop back up to the surface.

``The rides I work on can be almost as exciting as the real thing,'' says Burch, 38, whose projects have included WaterWorld and the Back to the Future attractions at Universal Studios. ``But in the real world, there is a degree of chaos, uncertainty and danger that by design doesn't exist in theme-park adventures. In the real world, whether you come out unscathed or not depends on your judgment and skill.''

Burch also surfs his kayak in the ocean. It's made out of a heavy duty Tupperware-like plastic that bounces off rocks - a good thing because there are plenty in the Kern.

``In the ocean when waves get big, they're over your head and plainly visible,'' says Burch. ``In the river, what's scary is below the surface like opposing currents, recirculating holes and rocks.''

Holes are hydraulic features in which water tumbles like in a washing machine. Recirculating holes have backspin that can hold kayaks, whirling them longitudinally. Kayakers call it getting window-shaded.

River rapids are rated from I to VI. The rapids Burch and his friends are running are Class IV, defined with words like intense, powerful and turbulent.

``The first big Class IV rapid, called Limestone, starts out pretty mild with some rock and roll,'' says Burch. ``Then all the water converges in one channel. There's a wave train of one giant standing wave after another.''

Toward the end of the rapid is a big hole.

``You can feel the river trying to pull you in like a tractor beam drawing you into a black hole,'' says Burch. ``I paddled hard to get past the hole and not get stuck.''

It's over so quickly, the three land their boats, carry them back up the river and do it again. The next Class IV rapid is Joe's Diner, which could be so named because it sometimes eats kayakers for lunch. At Joe's, the water spills six feet down over a rock ledge into another recirculating hole. After that, there's a sequence of big waves and more holes.

``If you (mess) up at the ledge, the wild ride is just beginning,'' says Burch. Like a contestant on a quiz show, you have three choices running Joe's Diner. Door number one is river left, which is easy, says Burch.

``But what's the fun in going the easy route?'' he says. ``You can go river right, which requires you do a boof off the six-foot rock. You have to maintain momentum and project yourself over the hole below the rock and keep on going down river.''

Boof is the sound the kayak makes when it hits the water if you do it right.

The third option is to go straight down the middle. This is the worst option because the swirling current will deliver you into the recirculating hole behind the rock ledge.

``I chose river right and went for the big boof,'' says Burch. ``But it didn't work too well. I didn't get out far enough to escape the hole. I landed upside down and then rolled upright only to find the current was pulling me back into the waterfall coming over the rock.

``I hit the waterfall and went upside down again. I came back upright and paddled like hell to escape.''

Burch has one swim when he's pinned upside down by the current against a rock and can't do his Eskimo roll. Swimming is what kayakers call having to release their spray skirt and bail out of the kayak. It's a matter of honor not to swim, but it beats drowning.

According to a database maintained by American Whitewater, one kayaker has died on the Kern River. But thousands on the Kern have safely enjoyed ``boating,'' as whitewater kayakers call their sport.

``The best way for beginners to get started is to come up and take a class,'' says Tom Moore, co-owner of Sierra South Paddle Sports in Kernville. ``We try to hook you. There is a learning curve, some flat-water work until you get to the fun stuff. Like any adventure sport, you've got to crawl before you run.''

Moore says you'll learn in two days what took him a year to learn 20 years ago when he taught himself. The first day of the two-day kayak 101 class covers basic white water paddling techniques: strokes, wet exits, leaning, Eskimo rescue and self-rescue techniques.

``When you get the fundamentals down, we go to the moving water on the second day,'' says Moore. ``There's a graduation ceremony the afternoon of the second day when you make a class II-III white water run.''

Sierra South doesn't teach an Eskimo roll first. Moore says if you get the fundamentals down, you won't need a roll. ``We're all between swims,'' he says.

The normal minimum age for a class is 14, but Sierra South runs youth programs for kids 12 and up. Moore says his oldest kayak student was a very fit 72-year-old who did well.

At the end of their run, Burch and his buddies land at a quiet beach, squirm out of their cramped kayaks and relive their adventures on the river.

``It's a real-world roller-coaster ride,'' says Burch.

IF YOU PADDLE

-- Drive time to the Kern River is about three hours from Los Angeles via the I-15 and Bakersfield.

--Kern river paddling requires a free annual permit obtainable from the Forest Service. To get a permit, bring a picture ID to the Greenhorn Ranger District office at Lake Isabella, [phone], or the Cannell Meadow Ranger District office in Kernville, [phone].

--You are required to fill out a daily manifest form and leave it in a box located at the various put-ins along the river if your run requires a permit. The Forest Service uses this data to manage the river's various sections and to prosecute illegal outfitters.

--A permit is not required for the section of the river from the Edison KR-3 powerhouse to Kernville. This section includes the Powerhouse Run below the plant and The Park.

--The Kern River is not the place for inner tubes, inflatable mattresses or river running without proper training and equipment. Brian Cosgrove, a River Ranger with the US Forest Service, says be sure to wear a lifejacket if you go in the river, even if you're not kayaking. He says, ``Alcohol and the river don't mix. Alcohol is the common denominator in most of the drownings that occur on the Kern.''

CAPTION(S):

3 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- 2) Damian Mann of Aliso Viejo, top, launches from a 15-foot high rocky bank into the Kern River. Newbury Park resident Taylor Burch, above, an architect who helps design theme-park rides, kayaks on the Kern River.

(3) Taylor Burch takes a break from the Limestone section of the Kern River, rated a Class IV.

Bill Becher/Special to the Daily News

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IF YOU PADDLE (see text)