CHANGING HIS STORY : FATHERHOOD AND MONOGAMY PART OF GRAY'S NEW REPERTOIRE.

Byline: Mary F. Pols Daily News Staff Writer

Until his own began ticking like a time bomb five years ago, monologue artist Spaulding Gray had no idea that men even had biological clocks.

Back then, he was just your average angst-ridden transplanted-New Englander-turned-New Yorker with a penchant for telling strangers his darkest fears. He had a talent for talking, a devoted following and a bad habit of cheating on his longtime girlfriend/short-term wife while on the road.

Then Spaulding spawned, not just once, but twice, and as a result, life is quite changed for the famously neurotic one. His already considerable vocabulary has expanded to include phrases like ``the fussy time at 7 a.m.,'' ``he had an ear infection'' and (horrors

) ``I am monogamous.''

The midlife crisis that precipitated this change, along with his simultaneous exploration of America's mountain ranges as a novice skier at 52, is the basis for his new monologue, ``It's a Slippery Slope,'' which plays Sunday night at the Alex Theatre in Glendale.

In a telephone interview from his room at the posh El Encanto Hotel in Santa Barbara (a place he says is ``so nice, it makes you think someone is going to be strangled''), the author and star of ``Swimming to Cambodia,'' ``Gray's Anatomy'' and ``Monster in a Box,'' happily expounded on the joys of being a father, first to Forrest, 4, and now to Theo, born in January.

``He is divine, actually,'' Gray, now 55, said. ``He is so placid. He can hang out for the longest time without crying. I have had no sleep deprivation at all.''

On this West Coast tour - which he calls a ``wracking tour, a rack-on-tour'' - he has even had the boys along for portions of it. When he finishes in Seattle, the whole family flies off to Lanai, Hawaii, where they will bask in the sun for a five-day, all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for 45 minutes of Gray's gift of the gab being shared with other guests at a luxury hotel.

Although he concedes that touring with the family was a little tricky, like trying to coordinate baby naps with father's ``quietude'' before grueling 97-minute performances, Gray said he welcomed having them along.

But before this starts to seem too much like the picture of domestic bliss, a little background:

The mother of his two sons is not Renee Shafransky, well-known to Gray's fans as his director, his longtime companion and a frequent character in his monologues. (In Gray's monologue ``Swimming to Cambodia,'' we get the impression that Renee is rather long-suffering; she urges him to decide whether he wants to be with her or to continue to enjoy a hedonistic lifestyle on location in Thailand.)

Eventually, Gray did make that commitment, marrying Shafransky. But that didn't stop him from continuing an affair with Kathy Russo, who he had met while touring. When Russo moved to New York, things got a bit more complicated. Then, when he and Russo got careless with the condoms, things got very complicated.

``We are so brought up now to think that we use condoms to prevent AIDS,'' Gray said. ``Once Kathy and I were pretty clear that neither of us had AIDS, to celebrate, off came the condom. We forgot that they are there to prevent children.''

The whole horrible saga that followed, complete with Gray almost having a nervous breakdown and Renee wanting him to be hospitalized for manic depression, is interwoven through out the much more pleasant tales of ski lessons and mountain conquering in ``It's a Slippery Slope.''

``It was what I call a psycho-pharmacologistic conspiracy to set me up as a manic-depressive,'' Gray remembered. ``Because Renee really wanted to solve this thing in a scientific way. Like, `What is wrong with him?' It couldn't be that, he just needs to see his son.''

Not long after Forrest was born, Gray left Shafranksy and moved in with Russo. Shafranksy moved to Malibu, and she and Gray aren't talking right now.

No wonder women were hissing during Chicago performances of ``It's a Slippery Slope'' and mailing off hate letters when the show hit New York.

Even Terry Gross, host of public radio's ``Fresh Air,'' was taken aback by Gray's escapades. ``She said, `Oh my goodness, Spaulding. I never knew you were a bad person.' I said, `I am, and I'm a good person, too,' '' Gray said.

Gross felt he had betrayed his audiences for his previous monologue, ``Gray's Anatomy'' by not telling them he was having an affair. Gray said he actually wanted to add something in at the end, a line where he would beseech the audience, ``Help, help, I'm having an affair.'' But Shafransky, who was his director at the time, wouldn't let him.

``It's a Slippery Slope'' marks his first work in years that's not a collaboration with Shafransky. It's a little disconcerting being without her as a creative force, Gray said.

``What I miss about her is her being a character in the monologue and her great one-liners,'' he said. ``You know, Kathy is not a character. Which is fine. We have a good relationship on another level, but I'm not making material from what she says.''

Still, he vows he won't work with anyone he's living with ever again.

``I'm just too old to go through that one again,'' Gray said.

So does that mean he's settled down for good?

``I would hope so, but I couldn't tell you that,'' he said. ``The fat lady hasn't sung yet. I'm certainly doing my damnedest to be monogamous, and I am, I am doing it. It isn't fun.''

THE FACTS

The show: Spaulding Gray's ``It's a Slippery Slope.''

Where: The Alex, 218 N. Brand Blvd., Glendale.

When: 8 p.m. Sunday.

Tickets: $24 and $28, available at the theater box office and through Telecharge, [phone].

CAPTION(S):

Photo

Photo: In his new monologue, ``It's a Slippery Slope,'' Spaulding Gray touches on lighter moments, such as hitting the slopes for the first time at 52, in between the more painful and joyous changes in his life.