CENTER HELPS COPE WITH HEARTACHES; HOSPICE THERE FOR CHILDREN.Byline: Sonia Giordani Daily News Staff Writer A handmade hand·made adj. Made or prepared by hand rather than by machine. handmade Adjective made by hand, not by machine Adj. 1. quilt, crafted by children and teen-agers who sought solace years ago, hangs on a wall in a room for the young, tucked into a corner of the Hospice hospice, program of humane and supportive care for the terminally ill and their families; the term also applies to a professional facility that provides care to dying patients who can no longer be cared for at home. of the Conejo. A single rosebud winds around the words ``I love you'' in one quilt square, designed by a teen-ager in memory of a dear high school friend who died. In all, the 20 pictures are a patchwork of precious memories, pieced together and treasured. Since 1984, the Hospice of the Conejo's youth program has been a sanctuary sanctuary, sacred place, especially the most sacred part of a sacred place. In ancient times and in the Middle Ages, a sanctuary served as asylum, a place of refuge for persons fleeing from violence or from the penalties of the law. for young hearts broken by the deaths of people they love. From the weekly meetings scheduled for children as young as 4 to the drop-in sessions at the Teen Center, the hospice gives opportunities for youths to help themselves cope with their grief. ``Often, they are the forgotten ones,'' said Bobbi Agor, director of the youth programs at the hospice. ``A majority of the time, a mom or dad will die, and the surviving parent is lost in his or her own grieving grieving Mourning, see there process. The kids become very isolated.'' After 11-year-old Jackie Straw's grandmother died of ovarian cancer ovarian cancer Malignant tumour of the ovaries. Risk factors include early age of first menstruation (before age 12), late onset of menopause (after age 52), absence of pregnancy, presence of specific genetic mutations, use of fertility drugs, and personal history of breast about two years ago, the child's mother, Mary Ann Straw, was grateful for the hospice's weekly sessions for youths. ``She was always a very outgoing child, and then she suddenly just withdrew,'' Straw said. Her grieving daughter stopped horseback riding horseback riding: see equestrianism. and often retreated alone to her room - until she began attending regular hospice meetings. ``It gave her an outlet. It was a safe place for her to say what she wanted or to say nothing at all,'' said the mother, noting that Jackie recently began horseback riding again. Agor said she is usually able to help even the youngest children express themselves, as through arts and crafts arts and crafts, term for that general field of applied design in which hand fabrication is dominant. The term was coined in England in the late 19th cent. as a label for the then-current movement directed toward the revivifying of the decorative arts. , doll play, and books. Sharing the process with peers, children and teens are reassured re·as·sure tr.v. re·as·sured, re·as·sur·ing, re·as·sures 1. To restore confidence to. 2. To assure again. 3. To reinsure. that the intensity of their feeling - the anger and the sadness - is normal. A private, nonprofit organization Nonprofit Organization An association that is given tax-free status. Donations to a non-profit organization are often tax deductible as well. Notes: Examples of non-profit organizations are charities, hospitals and schools. , the hospice is funded by donations from local groups and by United Way grants. In addition to regular funding, the United Way recently gave the hospice a $5,000 grant for its youth programs. The money will help expand a small library of children's and teens' books and help pay for arts and crafts supplies, Agor said. Around the youth room at the hospice are creations of children and teens, ranging from glittered masks to dream catchers Catchers was an Irish Indie Pop band formed in 1993 and led by singer-songwriter Dale Grundle. The band consisted of Dale Grundle (vocals/guitar), Alice Lemon (vocals/keyboards), Peter Kelly (drums), Ger FitzGerald (bass, until 1995), Craig Carpenter (bass, 1996 onwards) and . In American Indian American Indian or Native American or Amerindian or indigenous American Any member of the various aboriginal peoples of the Western Hemisphere, with the exception of the Eskimos (Inuit) and the Aleuts. tradition, a dream catcher traps all the bad dreams and allows only the good ones to pass through, Agor explained. ``A lot of kids have trouble sleeping at night because of bad dreams,'' Agor said, ``so we make these together.'' Agor leads regular meetings at the hospice and also works with small groups in local schools. Heading out with a team of teddy bears and other comforting toys, she encourages children and teens to face their feelings and to express them. A trained educator, Agor started volunteering at the hospice about 14 years ago. Less than a year later, brain cancer was detected in her husband, and he died within three weeks. ``I had no idea when I started volunteering that I would be using the Hospice of Conejo as my own support group,'' said Agor, who raised their two children. In addition to activities in which youths work through their individual feelings, Agor said the group regularly gathers to talk about the grieving process itself. ``We talk about death and what it means, and also about what their parent is going through,'' said Agor. ``Young kids, especially, want acceptance. So, for instance, if they see their parent crying, they have to be reassured that it's not because the child did something wrong.'' The Hospice of the Conejo also organizes programs for adults with volunteer coordinators who help moderate group discussion. ``People with similar experiences are really one another's best support,'' said Pam Hansman, a hospice volunteer for more than seven years who was helped when her father died about four years ago. In the program for adults, the volunteer coordinators educate parents and other guardians about the intense grief normally felt by children and grandchildren GRANDCHILDREN, domestic relations. The children of one's children. Sometimes these may claim bequests given in a will to children, though in general they can make no such claim. 6 Co. 16. when a loved one dies. ``We can never make the grief better or make it go away,'' said Agor. ``But we can help you learn to deal with it.'' CAPTION(S): Photo: Bobbi Agor, director of youth programs at the Hospice of theConejo, holds a stuffed bear that is popular with kids she helps. Bob Halvorsen/Daily News |
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