CAR-PHONE BAN HAS ANNOYING RING TO IT.

Byline: Joseph Honig Local View

SINCE our republic's earliest days, the Empire State of New York has delivered gifts beyond measure to citizens far and wide: two towering Roosevelts, ``Happy Warrior'' Al Smith and the stirrings of modern-day progressive politics.

Last week, though, it took only minutes for Albany's legislators to enact a law severely undermining New York's reputation for groundbreaking policies.

Because lawmakers passed - and Gov. George Pataki signed - one of the silliest, most impractical and badly thought-out pieces of legislation since Prohibition: an outright ban on drivers using hand-held cell phones in the state of New York. Until now, such laws have been mostly confined to scattered, do-gooding, third-tier towns; but there are some in Sacramento who believe car phones belong anchored to dash boards and not in drivers' hands. Stay tuned.

Proponents, of course, claim the phones distract motorists and cause accidents, maybe killing users, passengers and other drivers.

This despite an American Automobile Association revelation that dialing car radios results in more collisions than talking on phones.

No one's proposing that CD players be off-limits to those behind the wheel.

No, the people who bring you this cell phone ban - when in force, New York cops will stop offenders and write tickets - seem never to have witnessed dozens of other crazy and hazardous motoring behaviors.

Here in California, it is not uncommon to witness spousal arguments, wardrobe changes, makeup sessions, and the serving of any and all food groups.

Bottles are opened and uncorked. Hair is dried. Beards are shaved. All at 65 miles per hour.

But some well-meaning Eastern saps decided cell phones are the problem. Maybe they heard something anecdotal at the barber shop. Maybe they failed to pay full attention at a stop sign while calling home. Maybe in their hurry to do good they neglected to think of potential enforcement problems - and real costs to taxpayers - when cops prowl for phones instead of felons.

To underscore the lunacy of New York's coming policy - tickets for talk will begin Dec. 1 - it is highly unlikely that drivers will be cited for dialing hand-held phones on their laps, on seats or anywhere out of police view. It is only when those phones are raised to ears - surely the least problematic part of cell phone operation - that drivers will become prey for cops.

Should New Yorkers choose to play it safe - and legal - they can buy headsets or hands-free units, continuing to chat as the scenery flies by. Incredibly, the new law ignores the complexity of dialing, say, a 10-digit number in transit. It seems that's OK.

So we are presented with the specter of throngs of cops writing volumes of tickets for reasonable, careful and safety-obsessed drivers whose infractions consist of raising telephones to their ears.

Of course, we also will witness municipal courts clogged with defendants trying to beat this crazy rap. (``I wasn't talking, your honor, I was just scratching.'')

Who knows how many hearings, trials and motions will be delayed?

To be fair, few would argue that doing anything besides devoting one's constant vigilance to the road isn't asking for trouble. But maybe that's the point: There are so many possibilities for distraction - beginning with an agitated, unsettled state of mind - that banning hand-held phones is the equivalent of seizing a killer's knife but leaving his machine gun.

What New York legislators have proved is that they can indeed make a law. In doing so they have joined a governmental stampede to protect us from ourselves - even when the protection offered creates dubious benefit.

In the end we are left only with more government, additional regulations and the burden of paying for all those good intentions.

For when it comes to calling up the truth about cars, cell phones and the true cost of regulation, the line, at least in New York State, is off the hook.