CALL IT A `BROKEDOWN' PREMISE.Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic Having cut his teeth with schlock schlock also shlock Slang n. Something, such as merchandise or literature, that is inferior or shoddy. adj. Of inferior quality; cheap or shoddy. film guru Roger Corman, you'd think director Jonathan Kaplan would know a thing or two about women-in-foreign-prison movies. Unfortunately, with his dreadful new effort, ``Brokedown Palace,'' Kaplan proves that while he's got the cliches down pat, he doesn't have the faintest idea what to do with them. Of course, ``Brokedown Palace'' has more serious aspirations than, say, ``The Big Doll House.'' And that's part of the problem. First-time screenwriter David Arata has compiled such a complete encyclopedia of grim prison-movie conventions - The injustice! The deplorable conditions! The unfeeling foreigners who do the darndest things! - that audience members could follow along with their eyes and ears closed. There's no ambiguity here, only the unmistakable mark of hollow and repetitive storytelling. Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale play two spoiled high school graduates who decide to forgo Hawaii's standard-issue attractions for an adventurous fling in Bangkok. Danes' Alice is the bad girl; Beckinsale's Darlene is her cautious best friend. That's about all we get for character development. After meeting a charming Australian (Daniel Lapaine), the girls decide to follow him to Hong Kong Hong Kong (hŏng kŏng), Mandarin Xianggang, special administrative region of China, formerly a British crown colony (2005 est. pop. 6,899,000), land area 422 sq mi (1,092 sq km), adjacent to Guangdong prov. for a weekend of fun and frolic Frolic - A Prolog system in Common Lisp. ftp://ftp.cs.utah.edu/pub/frolic.tar.Z. . They never get out of the airport, however, as Thai police find a rather sizable stash stash Drug slang noun A place where illicit drugs are hidden of heroin in Alice's backpack. And as we know from watching movies and television newsmagazine news·mag·a·zine n. 1. A magazine, usually published weekly, containing reports and analyses of current events. 2. A television program that presents a variety of topics, usually on current events, often by using interviews and shows, Asian authorities don't take kindly to drug smugglers. While being held, Darlene signs a confession A Confession is a short work on questions of religion by Leo Tolstoy. It was first distributed in Russia in 1882. Consisting of autobiographical notes on the development of the author's belief, A Confession , which she thought was merely a transcript of her police interview. Her explanation - ``I'm just not used to being tossed into some filthy, disgusting jail'' - tells you all you need to know about the intelligence of both the movie's characters and its script. So, it's off to prison for Tweedledum and TweedleDanes. (Alice: ``I wasn't scared at first. I've had worse haircuts.'') Their only hope is a shady expatriate American lawyer nicknamed Yankee Hank (Bill Pullman Pullman. 1 Former town, since 1889 part of Chicago, Ill. It was founded in 1880 by George M. Pullman as a model community for workers of his sleeping-car company; all property was company owned, and administration policies were paternalistic. ), whose interest in helping appears to come more from his need for a new car than any genuine concern. But then, these self-absorbed girls don't really deserve Clarence Darrow. It's all completely pointless, capped off by a sudden ending that feels completely contrived. Audiences paying for this rubbish might come away thinking that Thai justice need not be a bad thing - if it could be meted out Adj. 1. meted out - given out in portions apportioned, dealt out, doled out, parceled out distributed - spread out or scattered about or divided up to filmmakers. If nothing else, a moratorium on movies about falsely imprisoned im·pris·on tr.v. im·pris·oned, im·pris·on·ing, im·pris·ons To put in or as if in prison; confine. [Middle English emprisonen, from Old French emprisoner : en- Americans (``Return to Paradise,'' ``Red Corner'') would seem to be an idea worth considering. THE FACTS The film: ``Brokedown Palace'' (PG-13; brief strong language, drug-related material and some violent content). The stars: Claire Danes, Kate Beckinsale and Bill Pullman. Behind the scenes: Directed by Jonathan Kaplan; screenplay by David Arata. Released by 20th Century Fox. Running time: One hour, 36 minutes. Playing: Citywide. Our rating: One star. CAPTION(S): Photo Photo: After being caught with drugs in Bangkok, Kate Beckinsale, bottom, and Claire Danes are sent to a Thai prison in ``Brokedown Palace.'' |
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