Bus passenger blues; You Say Email:[e-mail].

It never ceases to amaze me that when you wait at the bus stop, one bus comes and stops while the bus you want flies past on the outside, leaving you waving your arms like a demented orchestra conductor.

Some drivers have got this manoeuvre off to such a fine art that the Red Arrows' air display team would be green with envy. If you are fortunate enough to get the next bus along, the first obstacle you must circumnavigate is a Sherman tank disguised as a baby's buggy.

Then you come across the woman who believes her shopping bags are tired and, therefore, must take pride of place on the inside seat next to her, while she gives you that stare that says: "don't even think about it." So now you finish up sitting next to the young man with the mobile phone and a voice any opera singer would be proud of, who is determined to tell his mate whom everybody now knows is called 'Kidda', the exact location of the bus at this moment in time.

Now the time has come for getting off the bus, which in itself is no easy task, because a lonely hearts' club has formed by the driver and all the members have decided to read the free papers.

People who have their own form of transport do not realise what they're missing.

W Duffy, L8