Burning brides: "in our heads they are all there to see us whether they realize it or not.".

THERE'S GOOD MUSIC and there is shitty music. There's even shittier music too, but were not going to waste anybody's time here and start rambling. I guess I'm already rambling in a way but there's a point somewhere. You know when you see a band live and there's some dude playing guitar, jumping around like a goof making crazy faces and sweating? Whatever, here's my point. The Burning Brides are not shitty, and sometimes Dimitri wears no shirt and sweats while making crazy faces, but he looks nothing like a goof. He saves being being a goof until after the show. You can lock yourself in my basement for four days straight any time you want, buddy.

So I like to compare things to different cars for some reason. It's not even like I'm a big car buff. I own a fucking Toyota Tacoma. Anyway, if you were to compare your music to any automobile, what are you guys pushing?

I would have to say we're an International Scout painted flat black with a tow package. That means we're always going to make it home no matter what. Hell, I might even strap a deer onto the hood and call it a day. Who's hungry? Fire up the grille Oh wait. I forgot you don't eat meat. All right then, we'll drive it straight through the front window of a Fresh Fields and have our way with those hippies!

I went on tour with your band for awhile and noticed how there's a good chance you're stealing some fans from the bands you open up for. How does that feel to be the underdog?

It feels like being at war every day. You're outnumbered in the trenches and your gun's broke but you still have the bayonet strapped to the barrel. So what do you do? You start stabbing your ass off, 'cause if you don't you ain't going to survive. In those situations we're a 35-minute problem that's in the way of those kids experiencing their heroes. We come out swinging and usually force them into submission. In our heads they are all there to see us whether they realize it or not. Right now, though, we're headlining our own club tour and it's been great to get in front of real fans. We're not used to doing encores and shit like that so it's been a blast.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "Let's do this?"

I think of this friend of mine who's a pro skater who wears a lot of pink and doesn't like most people. It's his battle cry against the norm. When I hear this beacon my ears prick up the same way the animals do when Tarzan calls. It means we're getting involved in some kind of trouble. Perhaps some posers need a beating or maybe it's something simple like putting back a few beers and ruining some burgers.

You're a full-on stoner. In what ways does that affect your music?

I have a musical relationship with that drug which I cherish. When I'm stoned my third ear pops out and it's on. Songs swell with sweet juice upon the vine, ripe for picking. In the studio I use it constantly as a creative compass and it hardly ever steers me wrong.

Have you been laying any pipe lately?

No, but I do have a big crush on this one pro skater who wears a lot of pink and doesn't like most people. I am a king among men and that guy knows how to party so when he sends me pictures through Instant Message I have got no reason to believe that he doesn't feel the same way.

Now that you guys are traveling most of the year, where do you stay when you're not on the road?

Well, since you have now given me the keys to your place I guess I will be staying with you, bro. And I sincerely hope that Brian, Tony, Bear, and Kickstand don't mind too much about my presence. I promise not to shit on the rug unless I am trying to win a bet or if the blizzard is cut with some serious laxatives. And by the way, you should probably know that I've got a life-size Stormtrooper that'll look great in the rubber room. You're the best, man.

I pretty much know nothing about the music industry and I don't read reviews or interviews. But I have heard you guys are supposed to be like some stoner rock shit? When you hear people label you a certain way, how do you feel?

I feel pretty psyched to be making a living playing rock and roll. Call it whatever. Yeah, we smoke pot, and yeah, we like to turn our amps up loud and play hard, and yeah, we like Black Sabbath. It seems like most of the people who write about music are either bitter snobs who never made it in a band of their own or they're just record geeks who are more interested in the sound of their own voice than promoting good music. We have played with just about any kind of band out there that you can imagine and we have found that people really don't seem to care what style you, move in and out of as long as you have good songs in overall and that you mean it. We're pretty honest about what we do and never cared too much about having an image or fitting in with the cool bands of the moment. If I was a pro skateboarder I'd want to be known for being bold, and more importantly for being able to skate anything. I was talking to Mario the other day and he was talking about how all the kids these days are known for being good at only one thing in skateboarding. They will spend their time mastering skating on handrails but they can't even drop into a pool or skate street. We want to be able to do it all.

How about breaking tour bus windows?

What can I say? It was a total accident. I was just pissed off and it was either someone or something and so I chose to launch a bottle through the windshield. Anyway, it's part of the job description. We're expected to throw all kinds of shit out of hotel windows and wreck cars and overdose and luck. What do you expect? The torch has been passed and I ain't about to let it go out.

You just started skateboarding and seem to be a natural for being an old bastard. Are you psyched?

Not yet because I suck. Another thing is that everyone gets all freaked out whenever I take off on my board while we're on tour. They are all scared that I'm going to fall and break my wrist or something and have to cancel the whole tour. I do love it, though. It takes my mind off of a lot of shit. I pretty much just cruise all around late at night after shows when the whole town is deserted and I try to stay on.