Bunk-skatepark conspiracy revealed: 'certified pieces of suck' are part of shady land grab.SACRAMENTO, CA -- For many California skateboarders, at long last, questions are being answered as to why their state endures a mind-bogglingly high rate of bunk, bogus and bastardized bas·tard·ize tr.v. bas·tard·ized, bas·tard·iz·ing, bas·tard·iz·es 1. To lower in quality or character; debase. 2. To declare or prove (someone) to be a bastard. skatepark A skatepark is a purpose-built recreational environment for skateboarders, bmxers and aggressive skaters to ride and develop their sport and technique. A skatepark may contain half-pipes, quarter pipes, handrails, trick boxes, vert ramps, pyramids, banked ramps, full pipes, stairs, designs. An undercover team of investigators has blown the lid off a conspiracy involving major land developers. Apparently, the developers buy the land for cheap while promising to create popular recreational skateparks. They then purposely build nonsensical handrail horrors and meaningless mound monstrosities. When the crowds fail to appear, the developers simply bulldoze bull·doze v. bull·dozed, bull·doz·ing, bull·dozes v.tr. 1. To clear, dig up, or move with a bulldozer. 2. To treat in an abusive manner; bully. 3. the parks and sell the land for a profit. Real estate tycoon Jack Hamm, who is now facing charges, admitted to the scare. "It's hard being a greedy land developer," Hamm said. "We used to use fake ghosts and hauntings to manipulate property values, like on Scooby Doo. Then we came upon this idea. And we would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling med·dle intr.v. med·dled, med·dling, med·dles 1. To intrude into other people's affairs or business; interfere. See Synonyms at interfere. 2. To handle something idly or ignorantly; tamper. kids!" Hamm created skatepark oddities The Oddities were a professional wrestling stable in the WWF. History The Jackyl formed the group in 1998 and called them "The Parade of Human Oddities." The group consisted of "freakish" wrestlers, including the masked Golga (formerly Earthquake, whose mask had like the absurdicon (steep kinked hubba) and also the perplexer (transitions that shoot you into walls). |
|
||||||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion