Bullying - What's a Parent to Do? Tips for Helping the Bullied Child or the Bully.

HARRISBURG, Pa. -- Children who are intimidated, threatened, or harmed by bullies often experience low self-esteem and depression. Children doing the bullying may go on to engage in more serious antisocial behaviors as adolescents and adults. HealthAmerica offers guidance to parents on the widespread and difficult problem of bullying.

"Childhood should be a carefree time filled with wonder and joy, but the reality for many kids is often a very different story," said Josh Bennett, M.D., vice president of quality at HealthAmerica and HealthAssurance. "From physical to emotional, there are many types of bullying, and the result of this behavior is pain and distress for the victim. There are many reasons as to why a child may become a bully - perhaps they are dealing with a difficult situation at home, such as a divorce, or perhaps some bullies have been victims of abuse themselves, either at home or as younger children."

Dr. Bennett said parents should be on the lookout for these telltale signs that their child might be a victim of bullying:

--Sudden appearance of bruises

--Missing belongings

--Invention of mysterious illnesses or stomachaches to avoid going to school

--Unexpected changes in routines to avoid bullies, such as changing walking routes to the bus stop

Remember your child may be embarrassed or feel weak by admitting he's the victim of a bully. If you suspect your child is being bullied, try making it easier by asking about what happens at recess or after school or if there are any bullies at school. This can make it more comfortable for your child to talk about bullies because he won't necessarily have to talk about his own experiences. It might also help your child realize that he's not alone.

What should you do if your child is being bullied? The medical experts at HealthAmerica offer this guidance:

--Avoid an angry or blaming response. Remember your child is the victim.

--Try not to let your child see that you are sad or upset. Your child might interpret your sadness as disappointment in him.

--Listen to your child. Just talking about the problem and knowing that you care can be comforting.

--Reassure your child that he did not cause the bullying. Explain that kids who bully are usually confused or unhappy. Make sure your child does not feel guilty.

--Coach your child on how to respond to bullying. Encourage your child to act first by suggesting that your child look the bully in the eye and firmly say, "I don't like your teasing and I want you to stop right now." Your child should then walk away and ignore any further taunts from the bully.

--Reassure your child that it's okay to ask for help if he feels physically threatened by a bully.

--Encourage your child to develop more friendships. Bullies often target socially awkward children. Sometimes just being in a group with other kids can keep a child from being victimized.

--If you feel your child may be in danger of physical or emotional harm, don't be afraid to get involved. In many cases, bullying won't require your involvement. Sometimes, though, the direct intervention of an adult is necessary, especially in cases of persistent bullying. That may mean walking to school with your child or talking to your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal about the problem. It may embarrass your child, but his safety should be everyone's primary concern.

What if your child is the bully?

--Try to stay calm. You may even feel a sense of disbelief, finding it impossible that your child would behave in such a way.

--Try not to become angry or defensive. This could make a bad situation even worse.

--Talk to your child directly about the bullying. Although it's unlikely that a child who bullies would confess his behaviors, ask your child to tell you exactly what he's been doing and ask your child why he thinks he bullies and what might help him stop.

--Try to find out if something is troubling your child. Bullying often stems from unhappiness or insecurity. Try to identify and help your child deal with the issues that cause him to bully.

More Information for Kids:
Dealing With Bullies
http://www.kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=healthamerica&article_set
=22400&lic=206&cat_id=20070

More Information for Teens:
Dealing With Bullying
http://www.kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=healthamerica&article_set
=20425&lic=206&cat_id=20128

More Information for Parents:
Bullying and Your Child
http://www.kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=healthamerica&article_set
=21590&lic=206&cat_id=146

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your Internet browser's address field. Remove the extra space if one
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This information should not be used as a substitute for medical advice from, or treatment by, your physician. These materials are intended solely to provide you with a general overview of our health insurance products. Please contact your physician for additional information about your condition.

About HealthAmerica and HealthAssurance

HealthAmerica Pennsylvania, Inc., has a 30-year record of providing health care benefits. HealthAmerica, HealthAssurance Pennsylvania, Inc., and affiliate companies cover over 720,000 members in Pennsylvania and Ohio through PPO, POS, HMO, Medicaid, and Medicare Advantage plans. In addition, HealthAmerica offers a product for individuals and families who are not eligible for employer-sponsored health care benefits, Medicare, or Medicaid, called HealthAmericaOne. HealthAmerica earned an "Excellent" Accreditation for its HMO plan and HealthAssurance earned an "Excellent" Accreditation for the HealthAssurance POS by the National Committee for Quality Assurance, an independent, non-profit organization dedicated to measuring the quality of America's health care. With corporate offices in Pittsburgh and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, HealthAmerica and HealthAssurance provide managed health care products and services to over 12,000 employers in Pennsylvania and Ohio. HealthAmerica and its affiliates employ over 1,500 people in Pennsylvania. For more information, visit HealthAmerica's website at www.healthamerica.cvty.com.

HealthAmerica and HealthAssurance are subsidiaries of Coventry Health Care, Inc., a national managed health care company based in Bethesda, Maryland operating health plans, insurance companies, network rental / managed care services companies, and workers' compensation services companies. Coventry provides a full range of risk and fee-based managed care products and services, including HMO, PPO, POS, Medicare Advantage, Medicare Prescription Drug Plans, Medicaid, Workers' Compensation and Network Rental to a broad cross section of employer and government-funded groups, government agencies, and other insurance carriers and administrators in all 50 states as well as the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. More information is available on the Internet at www.cvty.com and www.firsthealth.com.