Bullish on the Valley, but Russia's a bear.

There's not much comparison between the San Fernando Valley and Russia.

Having just returned from ten days in Saint Petersburg and Moscow, I don't presume to be an expert on the politics, system of government, societal nuances or much else about Europe's largest country, but, to quote Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz,"--"There's no place like home."

A smile is a very precious commodity in Russia. It must be so, because there are so few of them. In the Valley, even the people who dislike you occasionally smile at you ... nd those who like you do so even more frequently.

And then there's the political system. Don't believe for a minute that the Russian definition of democracy is the same as ours. While Business Journal alternate-issue columnist Greg Lippe and I often rail at the ineffectiveness, inaction, and inattention of elected officials and bureaucrats when it comes to our business community, it's nothing compared to doing business in what is often called The-Former-Soviet-Union.

Bribery of public officials in Russia is so rampant it's an accepted practice and even a prerequisite to doing business. Here, I've been unsuccessful in just bribing myself into a guest parking space in City Halt parking when visiting one of our Valley City Council members. Admittedly, a $5 Baskin-Robbins gift certificate may have been insufficient to tempt the City Hall parking attendant.

And then there are the police ... In Moscow, on at least 20 occasions I saw police motion drivers over to the side of the road, not for any infraction, but simply to "check their identity papers." I asked several people if that was accepted practice, and was informed that random police checks of the populace was standard procedure. I was looked at in near-disbelief when I said that such action, without probable cause, was illegal in our country. Who ever heard of carrying "identity papers"--other than a driver's license--with you at all times? In Russia no one leaves home without them.

Coming out of a Metro station one morning, I saw a beefy policeman roughing up a slight teen-age boy. I don't know his infraction, but he wasn't resisting or fighting back as the much larger officer of the law was punching and kicking at him.

Passersby just looked away. Somehow, I don't think anyone will be filing police brutality charges.

Here in the Valley, other than my occasional brush with the law for exceeding the speed limit by a bit (I'm sure it's because I drive a red Jaguar), I've never been stopped by the police ... with the exception of the time that then-Deputy Chief Mark Kroeker put his red lights on and pulled me over to set a lunch date.

Bleak architecture

And Valley real estate developers, architects, contractors and designers: I take it (almost) all back. I've maligned our Valley hardscape, but the Valley's buildings are beautiful compared to the Soviet-era construction in Moscow. Describing them as featureless blocks of rectangular granite and cement makes them sound more interesting than they are.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not the kind of traveler who compares where I'm visiting to what's back home. I enjoy the local cuisine, revel in the history and culture of whatever country I'm in, try (usually unsuccessfully) to speak a few words in the local language, and generally work my tail off not to be the Ugly American from the book of the same name that William Lederer and Eugene Burdick wrote in 1958.

Yes, the Czarist palaces are palatial, the Russian Orthodox churches are beautiful, the history is fascinating, and there are many other reasons to visit Russia. But I didn't find an equivalent to Brent's Dell, Barnes & Noble, or Griffith Park. There was a Starbucks knock-off chain (green circle logo and all), but that didn't earn any points with me.

I guess I have to admit it; I'm just a Valley boy.

Winston Churchill's Cold War comment that "Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma," may have been true back then, but of more importance today is that doing business and living in Russia is nothing for which I'd trade our lifestyles.

And the next time I complain too stridently about life in our little north-of-Mulholland part of the world, I invite readers to mail me a copy of this column and to remind me that, however bad it may be here, it's better than almost anyplace else.

"Russia will not soon become, if it ever becomes, a second copy of the United States or England--where liberal values have deep historic roots."

--Vladimir Putin President of Russia 

Martin Cooper is Chairman of Cooper Beaver, Inc., marketing and communications. He is currently Chairman of VICA and Past President of the Public Relations Society of America-Los Angeles Chapter and the Encino Chamber of Commerce.