Bullies are everyone's problem: "a group of girls saw me as the one to pick on." (USA).

What would you do if someone made fun of you every day? How would you feel if someone hit you, pinched you, and made you miserable at school and on your way home? For many people, bullying is not something they have to imagine. It's a part of daily life.

"Things at school started off badly and just got worse," says Julie, who lives in New Jersey. "There was a group of girls in elementary school who saw me as the one to pick on. At first they just teased me. But later, things got physical. They would push me and pinch me and block my way home from school."

As Julie got older, the bullying became more intense (extreme).

"In seventh grade, one boy followed me around. He called me 'ugly' 97 times a day," Julie says. "He kicked me and knocked my books over. He was doing these things in class, too.

Soon, Julie was scared to go to school. But, worst of all, she thought there was nothing she could do about the situation.

"I thought of myself as a victim," she says. "I felt terrible. I was mad, too, at the adults who wouldn't do anything to help me."

Emotional Harm

Bullying is a big problem in many U.S. schools. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development recently found that 29 percent of students in grades 6 through 12 are affected by bullying--either as a victim, a bully, or, in many cases, both.

Sometimes bullying is obvious. Physical attacks or verbal abuse--threats and teasing--can be easy to spot. But bullies also use more subtle (difficult to notice) methods, such as ignoring certain people or spreading rumors about them.

Stan Davis, a school counselor and anti-bullying expert in Wayne, Maine, became interested in helping others deal with bullying because of his own experiences at school. "I was bullied myself," he says. "A few kids made fun of my weight and said I was clumsy, and they hit me on the way to and from school. I felt worse and worse about myself and felt that it was my fault. I see the same experience in kids today."

Though it affects kids of all ages, bullying is most common in middle school (grades 6 to 8). And it happens everywhere, regardless of school size and location.

Bullying can hurt people physically, but it also causes great emotional harm. Being picked on over and over can lead to depression (feeling sad and hopeless) and low self-esteem--problems that people often carry into adulthood.

It's not just the victims who are hurt by bullying. According to one researcher, 60 percent of bullies in grades 6 through 9 will have at least one criminal conviction by age 24!

What Makes a Bully Tick?

People bully each other for lots of reasons. Some students pick on others to feel powerful. Other kids torment classmates because they are the victims of abuse by parents or siblings.

Bullies often try to justify their actions by blaming the victim for being "different." They may pick on someone for being too tall, too short, too fat, or too thin.

Some bullies are looking for a reaction. They enjoy seeing the hurt, humiliation, or fear that they have caused.

Judy Freedman, a social worker at the Prairie School in Buffalo Grove, Illinois, says that students-- and adults--often pick on others to make themselves feel better. "Some bullies feel that nothing is going quite right for them," says Freedman. "But bullying is something they can control, so they do it."

If someone bullies you for being different, remember: It's nor your fault. It is the bully who needs to change, not you.

Take a Stand Against Bullies

For many years, people viewed bullying as a natural part of growing up. Some adults actually believed that it could help children by making them tougher. Stan Davis thinks these people had it all wrong.

"Bullying may be part of human behavior, but that doesn't mean we can't change it," Davis says. 'Adults hurt other adults--they steal and attack each other--but we have decided that that is against the law. Bullying is very stoppable."

According to Davis, students and teachers can follow three steps to help stop bullying.

1. Create clear guidelines. That way, everyone--teachers and students--can enforce (carry out) these rules. "Just like you have police to deal with crime, you need to make sure that the rules against bullying are followed," says Davis.

2. Schools must build strong relationships between adults and kids. This will help every student feel safe. It will also let teachers and school officials know when bullying is happening, and who is involved.

3. Students need to stand up when they see an individual being bullied. Kids can't watch others get hurt and teased and do nothing about it.

"It's not enough to not be a bully yourself," Davis says. "You have to stop others bullying, too."

There are several ways you can stand up to bullies. Tell a teacher or school official what is happening --sometimes, adults don't know when a student is being picked on. Join up with a group of friends and tell a bully to stop hurting others.

Or, reach out to someone who is being harassed (attacked). You can stop a bully just by being a friend to someone who needs you.

Judy Freedman insists that every student has a job to do. "Bullying is everyone's problem. Everyone needs to get involved," Freedman told JS. "If you saw someone at school who was physically hurt you would get hell?. So, if you see someone who is being emotionally hurt, over and over, why wouldn't you do something to help them?"

Don't Wait!

According to research, schools that have adopted the three-point approach have reduced bullying by 50 percent or more. In the past, some students, like Julie, had to wait for years before things got better.

"When I got to high school, I met other people, and I had a big group of friends," she says. "I still got picked on, but I felt a lot safer."

You can make a difference for students like Julie. As she says, sometimes kids just "need help to do the right thing."

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Your Turn

GRAPH QUESTIONS

1. What do 8- to 11-year-olds think is the biggest problem in school?

2. What percentage of older kids worry about violence?

3. Do more 12- to 15-year-olds worry about alcohol and drugs or discrimination?

4. On what issue do the two groups differ most?

5. What issues are problems in your school?

WORD MATCH


1. intense     A. attack
2. subtle      B. carry out
3. depression  C. feeling sad
4. enforce     D. extreme
5. harass      E. difficult to notice