Brothers in blue through thick and thin.

Byline: Tales from the coffeeshop

GIVEN our love of conspiracy theories, I am surprised that I have still not read a report on the front page of our leading daily Phil about the plot by the island's drug barons -- in co-operation with the British secret services - to discredit Ykan (drug squad) which had dealt serious blows to the narcotics trade in the last year.

I was even more surprised I not read anywhere in the patriotic press that the ailing deputy chief of Ykan Avraamis Charalambous - arrested on Wednesday with a squad sergeant in connection with the investigation into Al Capone's escape -- was being persecuted because he was fanatically opposed to the Annan plan.

How could any self-respecting conspiracy theorist link the conniving Brits to the mud-slinging campaign against the Ykan? Easy. The British secret services were very unhappy with the devastating blows dealt to the drug barons by Ykan and decided to made it their objective to limits its powers.

Why? Well apart from the unchanging, long-term policy of the British government to cause maximum harm to us Greek Cypriots, the drastically reduced availability of drugs on the island was threatening its grand plan to impose an unfair and pro-Turkish settlement. An abundance of drugs on the island would weaken the resistance of the people and allow the back-stabbing Brits to impose a solution with consummate ease.

POOR OLD Avraamis, who suffered a nervous breakdown when he was being questioned and had to be rushed to hospital, appeared to have recovered adequately on Friday to be present at his remand order hearing which was held at Nicosia General Hospital.

His lawyer did not blame his client's arrest on the British conspiracy, but said that Al Capone had pointed the finger at Avraamis as payback for the drug bust of the convict's sister last year. Even more interesting was the lawyer's claim that Avraamis had informed the Chief of Police and the Ykan commander about his meetings with Capone. What he was discussing with Al at these meetings we were not told.

Involving cop chief Iacovos Papacostas in the case was a disgusting act of ingratitude by Avraamis, who owed everything to the chief. Under previous chief, Charalambos Koulentis, Avraamis was given a punitive transfer - banished to a provincial post - because the chief was not very happy with his police work.

Avraamis was back in favour as soon as Koulentis retired and Papacostas took over. He was brought back to the capital and made deputy commander of Ykan. The rules were bent for his sake, as there were already two deputy commanders at the squad, and the appointment of a third, was not justified.

This was an indication of the political patronage Avraamis enjoyed. As a loyal Diko supporter his party ensured that he did not stay at a provincial backwater for longer than he had too. But the chief's signed approval was required to bring back Avraamis and Papacostas was only too happy to satisfy Diko's request.

COP CHIEF Papacostas has not come out of this smelling of eau de toilette, especially after he stupidly decided to visit Avraamis at the Nicosia General Hospital after his arrest. This was a cop who had been suspended in connection with a corruption case.

Then again, high intelligence has never been the chief's strongest point, as government sources openly admit. 'He might not be very clever but at least he is honest,' is the line repeated off the record by top-ranking government officials in defending the comrade presidente's decision to keep him at his post, despite presiding over the monumental blunders of the last month.

Earlier this week, Papacostas came up with the brilliant idea to set up an Internal Affairs Service in the force which would be made up of incorruptible officers who would monitor the activities of all the cops. He has obviously watched The Untouchables, the movie based on the true story of the incorruptible cops who brought the real Al Capone to justice.

How appropriate that our untouchables would also be inspired by an Al Capone. And in the role of Elliot Ness would be Avraamis Charalambous, wearing his favourite pair of $1,000 crocodile hide shoes.

THE IDEA was pooh-poohed, temporarily, by justice minister Loucas Louca, who had not been consulted by the chief. It was just as well because where was Papacostas going to find a dozen incorruptible cops for his service. Unless he would appoint the incorruptible officers that Akel and Diko chose for him.

The chief must be less intelligent than we think if he genuinely believes he would find cops willing to investigate their colleagues and report them for corruption. On Thursday all the members of Ykan, about a hundred, stopped worked and went to the court-room where remand hearing of the their colleague, sergeant Yiannakou, was taking place, applauding him as if he were a national hero.

And as the RIK reporter covering the hearing informed television viewers, there were tears in the eyes of some Ykan members when the judge announced his approval of the remand request. She also played down the barracking by the cops in the court-room. The reporter, we were informed by Costas Constantinou in Politis yesterday, is the wife of an Ykan officer.

SHE WAS not the only hack who went out of her way to win public sympathy for the two arrested cops. At least she had an excuse, being the wife of a colleague of the suspects. Other hacks were simply offering support to their sources.

The RIK police reporter is believed to have been the source of the myth that Avraamis had suffered a brain haemorrage, presumably in the hope of winning some public sympathy for his valued news source, in his hour of need. The truth was that he had suffered a minor nervous breakdown.

These reports rule out the possibility of Avraamis' and Yiannakou's defence lawyers claiming their clients were victims of a media witch-hunt.

ON THE POSITIVE side, the Al Capone case allowed former justice minister Appomenos Appomenou to return to the limelight as a media expert on police matters. He was everywhere, reminding us of his glory days as minister, when the police force was renowned for its discipline, effectiveness and good organisation.

Another pulic figure incapable of turning down an invitation to appear as a TV expert on the Capone affair was Euroko deputy Rikkos Erotokritou. But in the strip on which the guest's name and profession are listed one bit of useful information was missing -- that he was Al Capone's lawyer. This was surely a relevant bit of information that television viewers had a right to know.

Was Rikkos, who loves to give sermons about ethical behaviour, too embarrassed for viewers to know that he had been offering his professional services to a convicted murderer and rapist?

WE WERE particularly happy for the deputy Attorney-general Akis Papasavvas, who used the arrest of the two cops to get maximum media publicity for himself. It helped his graduation from the fringe -- pundit on the patriotic Lazaros radio show -- to the mainstream. Now his wisdom and admirable use of the Greek language could be appreciated by a wider audience.

On Thursday he was on the CyBC's morning radio show, the lunch-time TV show and the evening's TV news. On Friday morning the wind-bag was at it again, blowing his own trumpet, making pompous declarations and mercilessly slamming the behaviour of the Ykan cops.

The verbose Papasavvas loves to use fancy words and expressions. His favourite in relation to the case was 'semiology'. An oft-repeated phrase was that the investigation would proceed "without fear but with great passion." His great passion for publicity was beyond doubt, but his passion for the investigation has still to be proved.

PAPASAVVAS' was furious that Ykan officers had shut the shop on Thursday morning and turned up at the court to support their colleague. Who gave them permission to leave their work he asked? He had a point, but he was one to talk - he was at the CyBC studio for the lunch-time show during working hours and had taken more time off work in the morning to talk on the radio shows.

ALL HOPES that Barrack Obama's election would lead to a fair and lasting solution to the Cyprob were dashed last week when his Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was questioned by Senators.

"Hilary Clinton avoided expounding her positions on the Cyprus problem," lamented Radio Proto the following morning. "Mrs Clinton avoided taking a position on the Cyprus issue," complained Phil.

This is how our media talk up the Cyprob, giving the impression to their gullible readers and audiences that American Secretary of State is actually interested in Kyproulla. Hillary did not avoid expounding or taking a position, because that implies that she had one, when the truth is that she does not give a damn about Kyproulla, has never had a position about her and never will.

Let's face it, our problem has been relegated to the fourth division of international problems and does not look like winning promotion any time soon. Or as Humphrey Bogart told Ingrid Bergman in the final scene of Casablanca, "It doesn't take much to see that the Cyprob don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

"THE TURKS did not allow Alexander Downer and his entourage to walk down the Ledra Street buffer zone," reported Phil on Wednesday on its front page. Downer was apparently approached by plainclothes pseudo policemen and at the height of Kykkos Street, and was told he could not proceed to the occupation checkpoint because this was under the jurisdiction of the Turkish troops.

At the end of Phil's revealing report there was a comment by the UNFICYP spokesman who said nothing happened and there was no incident with the Turks. So who told Phil that there was a disagreement between the Turks and Downer? The paper never informed us and if there was a denial by UNFICYP, logically speaking there was no story.

The 'semiology' of the story, to use Papasavvas' favourite word, is that the UN spokesman Jose Diaz was liar, because if the paper believed his version of the event, it would not have run the story.

I CANNOT wait to read how the paper will report (if it deems it newsworthy) the industrial dispute at its printing plant Proteas at which angry workers turned off the printing presses on Friday morning and walked out.

The reason for the stand-off was the management's refusal to allow a representative of the PEO union to enter the premises. Management threatened to call the police if the union rep dared to enter, which was when workers turned off the presses. Phil's head honchos have been preventing their printing press workers from joining a union.

However, three workers from Greece are ignoring the management' threats, as well its promises of better pay, on condition that they did not join a union. A meeting to resolve the dispute is scheduled for tomorrow.

A bit ironic that a paper that is constantly pontificating about human rights, is denying its workers the right to belong to a union.

IN THE END, our sainted comrade presidente has avoided backing any candidate as the new Akel general secretary. For the first time in the commie party's undemocratic history, there might be more than one candidate for its leadership -- the wily Nik Kats against the drippy Andros Kyp.

Everyone knows who the saintly one prefers and he could still surprise us with some last-minute trick that would prevent the big favourite, Kats from becoming the new Ezekias. All will be revealed on Wednesday when the Central Committee chooses its new chief by secret ballot.

But when there is a secret ballot, many of the comrade sheep turn defiant and blatantly ignore the instructions of their great leader.

THE RECESSION has hit the island's more expensive shops. One that is feeling the effects of the economic slowdown is the Louis Vuitton shop in Nicosia's fashionable Stassicratous Street. It seems not even the capital's wealthy snobs are prepared to pay the equivalent of a shop assistant's annual salary on a suitcase.

The shop's owner asked for a meeting with Nicosia Mayor Eleni Mavrou, to discuss his business' sad predicament. At the meeting, the mayor was asked whether her cash-strapped municipality could offer some financial assistance to the shop so that the owner would not have to close it down.

Asked why on earth the municipality should give funds to the shop, the owner explained that a Louis Vuitton shop raised the standing of Nicosia. It would be a tragedy if the capital of our great republic did not have a Louis Vuitton shop.

Copyright Cyprus Mail 2008

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