Bring out the best in your boss: Anne is a mess. If she didn't know any better, she'd think she was experiencing a heart attack--jackhammer drilling into her skull, racing heart, shallow breathing. But she knows better. All of these symptoms are being sparked, not by a blocked artery, but by a highly toxic boss named Jim.

ANNE'S CHILD WAS SICK THIS MORNING and, as a result, she showed up 10 minutes late to work, knowing full well what was about to happen. Jim didn't disappoint. As soon as she set foot in the office, he loudly recited the tardiness policy, and made it clear that he was not interested in any "excuses." Anne used to love her job; now she dreads it. Whenever she tries to relax, her mind drifts to the latest confrontation.

Sound familiar? Even if you have a bully for a boss, you probably don't have the luxury of turning on your heel and leaving. Fact is, you need the paycheck. But what about sanity and motivation? Don't you need those, too? What, exactly, are your options if you are stuck with a boss who seems to have it in for you?

First, realize you're not alone. A Gallup poll taken a few years back found that 24 percent of workers would like to fire their bosses. However, there's good news. You have options and can transform a potentially career-damaging situation into a positive (or at least tolerable) one.

Who Needs Them?

According to Dr. Randall Hansen, founder of Quintessential Careers (www.quintcareers.com), bosses affect us so strongly because we spend most of our awake time at work. "These people can have a bigger impact on our physical and mental well-being than our spouses," Hansen says. "A bad boss can create lasting negative effects such as lowering job performance, job satisfaction, self-esteem, and confidence; each leading us to being less successful."

Management guru Bruce Tulgan (www.rainmakerthinking.com) points to a 10-year study conducted by his organization that directly supports the fact that bosses wield incredible power upon their employees. "Employees think of their immediate supervisors as the primary representatives of their employer's missions, policies, systems, and practices," Tulgan explains. "Supervisors are points of contact who define the work experience on a daily basis." He went on to say that they determine raises, assignments, work conditions, and rewards. The number one factor in productivity, morale, and retention is the relationship between supervisors and their charges.

Everybody is under more pressure these days. Everything is happening on a shorter time frame and with higher stakes. Thus, the tension is heightened on both sides--for bosses and the staff they supervise.

Managerial Misbehavior

Bad bosses come in all shapes and sizes, but there are a few key indicators. Lack of compassion is a frequent complaint, according to Chandra Louise, Ph.D., founder of www.toxicboss.com. "The strange thing is if bosses were compassionate, most employees would go out of their way to balance their personal problems with the needs of their employers," Louise says. "Most employees, particularly those who like their jobs and respect their bosses, are pretty responsible."

Manchester Consulting of North Carolina's study of 200 companies found that the quickest ways for managers to lose credibility in the workplace are to:

* Act inconsistently in what they say and do

* Seek personal gain above shared gain

* Withhold information

* Lie or tell half-truths

* Be closed-minded

* Be disrespectful to employees

* Withhold support

* Break promises

* Betray confidences.

Change Starts With You

In many cases, the boss-employee dynamic mirrors the kind of relationship we had with our parents. "Bosses tell us what to do, criticize our work, prioritize our tasks and time, and ultimately decide our future with the company," explains Kristie Kennard, author of How to Manage Your Boss (National Seminars Publications, 1991). "It's easy to fall into the trap of responding to our bosses the way we did to our parents: like overly compliant 'good' kids or sullen, rebellious teenagers. Obviously, neither behavior will enhance your career."

According to Kennard, the manner in which employees handle their bosses is revealing, especially in the first few months of a job. Kennard explains: "Management keeps its eye on employees who show an ability to define and fulfill their own and their boss's mutual expectations in their working relationship. As opposed to those who only grumble about their bosses, management tags proactive employees as people who are 'going somewhere.'"

Here are some signs of proactive employees:

* Gives the boss feedback; asks questions

* Initiates action without having to be supervised

* Doesn't wait for the boss to make every move

* Seeks information and the help needed to do the job.

Communicate

Lack of communication is a surefire path to problems in any relationship, including the one you have with your boss. Patricia King, author of Never Work for a Ferk (Dell Publishing, 1988), reminds employees that bosses are not mind readers. It's your responsibility to express your point of view. King adds, "If you try. holding things in, you will unintentionally broadcast that something is eating away at you. The sour look on your face, your skimpy job performance, or your bickering and snide remarks will betray you. Most bosses will interpret such behavior as your personality problem, your lack of job motivation stemming from your own personal difficulties, and definitely as your lack of potential."

To avoid sending these unintentional messages, you need to send clear, intentional ones through planned conversation. Have you considered the possibility that your boss might not simply be "bad," but that you haven't put the thought and focus into understanding what makes him or her tick?

Watch Your Tongue

Being perceived as a "malcontent" can damage your career. It's a mistake to talk negatively about the boss. He or she won't look bad--you will. And your negative comments will eventually get back to him or her.

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Fireside, 1990), warns against employees allowing themselves to be victims of the boss's weaknesses. "Stop looking for evidence (in clandestine watercooler sessions with your colleagues) to justify your feelings about your terrible boss: how he's the source of your career block, a traditionalist who flat out resists change. If you fall into these habits, you'll become addicted with the 'metastasizing cancers' of the workplace: complaining, criticizing, comparing, and competing. Instead, learn to manage your boss by focusing on your own circle of influence."

Walk a Mile

According to Cleveland, Tennessee, clinical psychologist Vijai Sharma, Ph.D., it's really lonely at the top--especially for insecure bosses. Their excessive concern for possibly losing their status combined with distrust of everyone makes them a "control freak." They come across as angry and controlling.

Underneath the hostile and demanding outer cover, there's a person who feels constantly threatened. Many executives battle depression on an ongoing basis. It's estimated that one in four CEOs goes through depression at some point in their career. Some who run big corporations either have or have had major depression with suicidal thoughts. Besides the loneliness at the top, the monster of depression stares them in the face. As the saying goes, "Weary lies the head that wears the crown."

Some bosses become totally disillusioned. "What was the point of missing those years away from the family?" a disappointed supervisor asks himself.

Help Yourself

You should never accept "over the line" behavior such as discrimination or harassment. However, if you simply have a less-than-average boss, don't let him or her stand in your way. The dynamics of your relationship are temporary--bad bosses usually end up working themselves out of companies. In the meantime, the best offense is a good defense. You can influence your boss's behavior only to a certain degree--but you have total control over your own behavior.

The most effective strategy is simple: Sharpen your skills and knowledge of the organization so that you are indispensable. Others will soon notice, and your boss will rely on you for assistance and advice. Who knows--with your help, your bad boss just might become the person with whom you love to work.

DEFUSING DIFFERENT TYPES OF BOSSES

Ballistic Bob--ruled by anger and need for power. Look him in the eye while he's in the midst of his tirade and let him firmly know but kindly that you have too much self-respect to be addressed or treated in such a manner.

Backstabbing Betty--insecure, critical, covert operator. Approach her directly but gently. Use a calm tone and avoid accusations that cause defensiveness. "I'm uncomfortable with the things you've been saying. Feel free to tell me directly if you've got concerns or issues."

Lifeless Lynn--cold, suffering from burnout, scarred by office politics. It's up to you to breathe life back into the workplace. You might organize weekly staff meetings to encourage feedback or even a morale-building holiday retreat for the entire department.

Spineless Steve--lacks courage or spunk, always seeks the safe middle ground. Be persistent while honoring the chain of command. Give him many opportunities to respond to suggestions and requests, and perhaps respectfully suggest that higher-ups might need to be consulted.

Kathy Simmons writes from Kennesaw, Georgia.