Bravo for brave souls.

Talk-show host and comic Arsenio Hall relates an amusing mother-son tale: "My mother wanted me to be a lawyer. I wanted to be an actor. I said, 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny' I went to school and majored in theatre. A couple of weeks after college graduation, I called my mother and asked, 'Can I borrow $200?'--and she said, 'Why don't you act like you have $200?' While the story is funny and echoes anecdotes thousands of mothers and their children have shared for generations, I like this one because refers to one of my favorite theories: acting as if.

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"Acting as if means you take on the mindset of what you wish to become and allow (or encourage) your behaviors to follow. You bypass the 'what ifs' and go straight to the 'what fors.' If you practice long enough, your acting as if is no longer acting."*

The rhymed version--fake it 'til you make it--is easier for me to remember, and faking it is what I have been doing since my latest, greatest heart surgery on Feb. 1. While 1 joked with my 9-year-old nephew, Matthew, that I would be calling him "Moo-thew" after I got a cow valve, the truth was that I was not certain I was going to like "moo-ing."

After the operation, I was good to go home after only four days; but when my heart was not "firing" properly, I suddenly became the proud owner of a spiffy new pacemaker (the instruction booklet tells me I can still use a microwave, but my jack-hammering days are over.) By now, I began to experience that "droopy" thinking that often affects heart patients.

Having gone through a similar surgery two years ago, I had prepared myself to overcome with my "fake it 'til you make it" credo. I looked to people braver than I for inspiration and "borrowed" a bit of courage from each of them.

One who often came to my mind was upbeat little Mattie J.T. Stepanek who made a difference for others with his poetry. His work "Just Peace" explores his concept of all people as a unique mosaic of gifts. Mattie died in 2004, just short of his 14th birthday, of dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy, a disease that interrupts autonomic, or automatic, functioning.

Another of my heroic examples is Journalist Rich Brooks whose ongoing chronicle of his battle with Lou Gehrig's disease always reflects his upbeat attitude. In his column, "A circus that never fails to get a smile," Brooks recounts a family get-together wherein he remarks: "The best lessons did not come from books. Instead, they came from dealing with adversity. How one reacts when the chips are down speaks volumes about your character. How you handle good times also matters because these memories will sustain and nourish your soul."

Sometimes, I act as if I am Rich Brooks, enjoying every tiny morsel of whatever life serves up. At other times, I act as if I am as skilled a writer/poet as Mattie Stepanek ... toying with words ... weaving tales ... thanking others for being part of my life. And there are days when I act as if I am actually feeling pretty good, despite little bruises and twinges, scars and tingling. If I keep faking it 'til I actually make it, the healing process will soon be over, and the next challenge will present itself.

Thank you to all MLO staff and editorial advisory board members, as well as Nelson Publishing administrators and co-workers, who have been supportive of this, my second heart-surgery recovery, in addition to the many people who work with me via telephone and e-mail on this publication.

You sure did act as if you cared, and it sure has worked.

* See Chris Dunmire's website at www.chrisdunmire.com/essays/acting.as.if.shtml

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