Brattleboro, we'd miss ye; Secession drive shows some things never change.

Byline: Chris Sinacola

COLUMN: SINA-CISM

Mother Earth News has chosen Brattleboro, Vt., as one of its "Eight Great Places You've Never Heard Of" for its next issue; the "you" in that title presumably being regular readers of the magazine. This is akin to Motor Trend heralding Detroit as "An Automotive Center Worth the Trip!"

I'm guessing Mother Earth News sells briskly in Brattleboro, which the Associated Press calls "a liberal Southern Vermont town," "vintage Vermont," "artsy... intellectual."

It turns out the author of the Mother Earth article has not actually been to Brattleboro, but having recently been there myself, I can confirm his description. The streets are lined with artsy shops, and the food is great. The only dairy cows I saw were the stuffed ones in Galane's Vermont Shop on Main Street wearing clownish smiles and sporting huge pink udders and "I {heart}Vermont" T-shirts, but I don't doubt the existence of actual dairy cows in Brattleboro.

My daughter and I were at the end of an afternoon hike and rolled into town across the big bridge that spans the Connecticut, from which you can see a motley assortment of brick blocks teetering on the river's far left bank. Traffic - a jumble of cars and pedestrians - was moving very slowly, either because rush hour was coming, or perhaps because thousands of New Englanders had advance intelligence of Brattleboro's charms.

Parking was scarce, but we found a space, contributed several quarters to the municipality's coffers and plunged into the first bookstore we saw, which led us to a courtyard and lunch at The Common Loaf.

The proprietors here were peaceful and soft-spoken folks, radiating chi from their organic cotton clothing and exuding the wholesomeness that comes with a life free of toxins, plastic toys and Wonder white. Their home-baked breads appeared capable of saving most of Western civilization from constipation and all known vitamin deficiencies.

We ordered lunch - order seems such a harsh word here - and enjoyed a wonderful turkey sandwich and Greek salad, while slaking our hikers' thirsts with lemon and hibiscus coolers served in what appeared to be Mason jars converted into mugs. I later learned the proprietors belong to the Twelve Tribes of Israel, a worldwide network of Christians embracing community, organic farming and home schooling, and holding an eclectic set of views on the world.

All through lunch I was eyeing my next move, a trip to Everyone's Books, whose departments included socialism and wimmin's studies, Communism, Marxism, anti-Bushism and queer studies. Daughter pursed her lips, held her breath and led the long march for the front door, which brought us onto Elliot Street and opposite another bookshop.

Brattleboro Books offered 60,000 or so used volumes with a range far more congenial to my tastes, and while hunting down a copy of Francine du Plessix Gray's "Lovers and Tyrants," I saw a couple approach the saleswoman and declare, with no trace of irony, that they had made the trip down from Maine to see "what was up with the secessionists."

"Well, I'll tell ya," replied she, "if things get much worse, it may come to that."

It wouldn't be the first time Vermont has gone it alone. Back in the 1770s, Ethan Allen and his Green Mountain Boys tried mightily to protect the area's New Hampshire settlers from getting pushed around by the influx of New Yorkers. Things got so testy that Vermont set up shop as an independent republic from 1777 until 1791, when it joined the Union as the 14th state.

Today, a few folks are quite serious about establishing what they call the Second Vermont Republic. Their Web site, www.vermontrepublic.org, heralds the Second North American Secessionist Convention, slated for this October in Tennessee. You know I'd love to go, but I believe I am busy that weekend with the harvest.

I am tempted to suggest to these Vermonters, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, "I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half vegan and half meat-eating," but the fact is that I believe it can.

Nor would these United States be quite so interesting if the Brattleboros among us were to break away from the mother ship.

Truth be told, I think they rather enjoy the attention, but to those Vermonters worried they'll never be a place set apart, I say do not fret. In many, many ways, you already are.

Contact Chris Sinacola at [e-mail].