Bowling: More to it than burgers, beer and doughnuts.

Byline: BY JACK McGRINDER

HOMER SIMPSON is a regular player and his wife Marge has even tried her hand, while most American sit-coms have run a story line involving it at some time or other.

Even in Scotland, plenty of folk indulge and, from my experience, they usually look as though they've guzzled too many burgers - or as in Homer's case, doughnuts.

You might have guessed, we are talking ten pin bowling. A splendid novelty game if you like high fives, bottles of trendy beer and a jolly good thigh slappin' time.

It's only my opinion and hey, we are all entitled to have one. However, there's this German bloke, with an Italian-Swedish moniker, who took umbridge at my take on what he calls sport.

Marco Jonsson's his name and he'll be bowling as an adopted Scot in the AMF World Cup over in Singapore in early December.

'You must not say that ten pin bowling is not a sport,' he demanded in a friendly, German sort of way. 'And you must not say that most bowlers are fat.'

So I say to him, listen matey don't tell me what I can or can't say. I didn't actually say it out loud, I kind of muttered it, but at least I fought my corner.

Truth is, wasn't warming to this character, anyhow he told me: 'We don't have to be built like footballers, but top bowlers have to keep in shape.'

Spotting an escape exit from the tedium of ten pin bowling conversations I pursued the football angle and the man from Stuttgart, who lives in Largs tagged along.

How could I not ask him what he thought about his compatriot Berti Vogts?

'Aah,' he exclaimed and the way he did it, I knew I was on to something. 'I don't think he is so good. He's not the Germany coach any more, is he!'

That, can only assume, was Germanic satire, but suddenly liked the cut of Marco's jib.

Tell you what, I'm rooting for him in the World Cup - Marco I mean - can't quite whip up the same level of enthusiasm for the other German.

But let's not split Herrs and instead look at Scotland's other representative in the big ten pin shindig.

Laura Rhoney is a spicy lass from Blairgowrie and is the current No.1 Scot. Unlike Marco, who will be making his debut in the World Cup, she's seen it all before.

This will be her fifth time and she's hoping to improve on her tenth spot in last year's event in Honduras.

They really get to travel these bowlers don't they?

Rhoney said: 'That's the great thing about it. You get to see so many countries.

'I am only 25 but I've been playing since I was a girl and it's a great sport.'

So I says, it's not a sport and she says: 'It most certainly is.

When you're bowling under pressure for four consecutive days you've got to be mentally and physically fit.'

What, fit like Homer, I said, and she took the huff. Doh!