Born again. (reader forum).

Twenty-six years ago, when I became a born again Christian, my family welcomed me, neighbors embraced me, and friends accepted me with open arms and open hearts. In reality, nothing changed other than I began attending church.

Eight years ago, when I came out as a gay man, my family disowned me, neighbors shunned me, friends rejected me with cold hearts and closed minds, and the church closed its doors to me. As a result, I was forced to start life over by seeking those in a community I was not familiar with who were willing to accept me for who I was--and to help me learn a whole new way of living.

Today, I question which experience was in reality a "born-again" experience. Christians claim that being born again takes one out of the "darkness" and "into the light." Today, I am very thankful that I came out of the darkness of the closet into the light of a life of truth.

Thank you for your Coming Out issue [October 15], which reflects that others have experienced the struggle of being born again into the lives they were intended to live.

David Burnett, Portland, Ore.

Congratulations to all for their stories and courage, and good luck to everyone coming out this year. You are doing the right thing. Whatever the reaction of your family and friends, be brave. Coming out saves your life. The closet kills.

Paul Bailey, London, England

I loved the Coming Out issue. Thank you for bringing us the stories of everyday people and their courage. I never thought I could come out, but I finally did at 45, with my only regret being that I didn't do it sooner. My coming-out experience has been wonderful--nothing but love and support from my family, friends, and coworkers. In reality, it was harder for me to accept my sexual orientation than for those around me.

Sandy Ceppos, via the Internet

I was only moderately curious about the 62 people who came out in your October 15 issue. Don't get me wrong: I think it's wonderful when anyone is comfortable enough with who they are to be front and present in any public forum. But what I came away with was a sense that these were largely self-congratulatory profiles that serve no real purpose in advancing the rights of LGBT people.

Yet having said that, I value that the profiles do provide one clear and consistent message--that for each of these people, their lives have been enriched by coming out. That is true for the vast majority of us who have had the courage to come forward over the years and is the most difficult thing for those still in the closet to accept as true. To the extent these profiles help one more person understand and accept this truth, they are worthy of publication.

Jerald A. Breitman, Asheville, N.C.

I want to come out in the pages of The Advocate. Here is my story: I was raised by liberal parents in San Francisco. I lived my teen years with my "bisexual" dad and his partner (of 20 years before my dad died of AIDS). Then at age 33 I fell in love with a woman. I was unhappily married with two children, but I was finally in love. I was out practically from day one. However, since being gay was virtually a nonissue, I never really celebrated my pride in being part of this community. Then as quickly as she came, I lost the love of my life after less than six years. She died in my arms, succumbing to breast cancer after a valiant battle. I want to come out, loud, in the pages of The Advocate in her memory. I don't want to just be out; I want to go out of my way to shout from rooftops, "I am a lesbian. I have truly experienced love. I have had a richly satisfying mental, emotional, and physical relationship with a wonderful woman." I thank God for making me a woman who loves women and for letting me hold, for a too-brief period of time, my angel, Debbie.

Julia Petersen, San Diego, Calif.

My story is similar to Tammy Brown's story in your Coming Out issue. As I read it I was nervous that she was going to say she walked away from God. I'm glad she didn't.

I am Roman Catholic. The church is not as bad as everyone thinks, because it still preaches love for homosexuals but condemns the "sins" they commit. From the time I was 13 I believed this dogma. I hated that I was gay and different. I felt so dirty and unclean. When I went to college, though, I met people who could care less that I was gay. I was shocked to see that they saw this as a small part of me. I began telling more people. No one ever told me I was wrong; everyone accepted me! After my sophomore year, I came out to my dad and finally my mom. By Easter of the following year I had fully come out to my family and all my friends. God took this weight of lies off my shoulders.

I am active in my church now and am a youth minister in two parishes. I want to thank The Advocate for giving me and many others the opportunity to tell our stories.

Michael Miragiliotta, Rutherford, N.J.