Bone-headed.

Byline: GRAHAM YOUNG

year one (12a)

IF THIS excuse for a movie could be screened at Guantanamo Bay, the prisoners would eventually come out claiming they'd been tortured by actor Jack Black.

So why would anyone want to pay for the experience of watching Hollywood's fattest A-lister once again flashing his enormous gut while adding to his increasingly long list of charmless failures? Remember other 'Black' films like Tenacious D, Margot At The Wedding, The Holiday, Nacho Libre and Be Kind Rewind? This one is like watching last year's 10,000 BC all over again - minus the special effects to keep your mind occupied.

The Year One story is about Zed and Oh, two lazy hunter-gatherers (Jack Black, Michael Cera) who go on a journey through the ancient world after being banished from their village.

Bet you'll soon be wishing they'd just been executed for being useless.

The British Board of Film Classification's extended guidelines are far more interesting than a woeful script co-written by director Harold Ramis (Analyze This).

It reveals that the film distributors sought advice during post-production to make sure that its relatively adult content would (somehow) meet the guidelines for a 12A rating.

But it must have been a close call because the BBFC year ( 12a)

still goes to unusual lengths to advise about what lies in store.

It reports that "the word 'bitch' is used twice along with sundry euphemisms male genitalia (' dick', ' boner') and strong langauge once.

"There are also several references to Sodom and Gomorrah, sodomy, depravity, 'whores' and similar.

" In one scene at a party, a character is required to an oil rub to a High Priest which entails verbal to ' nut sacks' and also there are mentions sexually transmitted infections.

" Abraham appears as a character who plans to circumcise the males in his tribe; circumcision is described in moderate detail and recurs as a running "' Caveman' sexual etiquette is also lampooned with references to hitting women over the head as of seduction." Adults pay their way and make their own choices. anyone who thinks this is family entertainment takes under 12s to watch Jack Black eating human faeces and Michael Cera pondering the merits of smell of urine in his hair ought to be locked up for cruelty.

GRAHAM YOUNG ..

CAPTION(S):

Jack Black and Michael Cera go back in time for a lame comedy.