Blessingways: a Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers.

I am always intrigued by ritual, and specifically with regard to childbirth, how we can create positive customs that reinforce how healthy and happy mothers and babies can be in pregnancy and birth. So when we received the book, Blessingways, for the ALACE library, I took it home for the weekend to peruse. It's a great book that gives helpful stories, ideas and perspectives on the whys and hows of a Blessingway ceremony.

The author, Shari Maser, is great at using simple language and effective organizing to create an easy-to-use book for planning and giving a Blessingway. She starts with a definition and history of the Blessingway ceremony, and includes three stories that set the tone for the book and highlight some of the most common rituals in a Blessingway ceremony. Chapter 2 is the much needed nuts and bolts of planning, while Chapter 3 goes through ceremony options, including music, sharing circle, grooming possibilities like combing the mother's hair, and using food and drink in the ceremony. The last sections of the book are nice touches, and include information on how to make variations in the Blessingway (for an adoption, for example), sample readings and songs, and a reference section for more information.

Probably the single best aspect of this book is the real life suggestions sprinkled throughout its pages. These come not just from the ceremony hosts, but also from the mothers who were honored, and from their friends and family members, some of whom were new to the concept of a Blessingway.

These tips from varied perspectives were present in each section of the book, and covered everything from the nuts and bolts of where and when to have a Blessingway, to questions such as, "Should partners attend?" The Blessingway is not presented as one fixed ceremony. Indeed, the reader sees that in some instances, organizers chose, for example, not to have partners present, with an explanation for what atmosphere they were striving to create. The next story then talks about a ceremony in which partners were present, and what the feeling was at that gathering.

This book was helpful in distinguishing between a Blessingway and a traditional baby shower. Though a baby shower is often nice (indeed, many people in the book had both), it quite often fails to create any meaningful way for loved ones to express their hopes and radiate confidence to the woman except through the purchase of expensive gifts. This book could be helpful to friends and family who are unfamiliar with a Blessingway.

We don't need books to create a gathering in which the woman of honor feels loved and appreciated. But it helps to have a few suggestions about ways to unite people and help them feel connected to the awesome power of birth. I would definitely use this book if I wanted to plan any kind of meaningful life passage ritual for a loved one.

Available through Moondance Press at www.blessingway.net or [phone]; $14.95