Bjorn Johnston "we hate Australians!".

Vitals?

Bjorn Johnston. I'm 19, from New Plymouth, New Zealand. I ride for Seek skateboards, Nike, Venture trucks, Gold wheels, and Traffic clothing.

Why are people from New Zealand called Kiwis?

We have a bird that lives there--the Kiwi--and there's not very many on Earth; it's endangered. It's pretty useless, really. It's nocturnal, it can't fly--it really can't defend itself considering it can't fly. They're only found in New Zealand. That's why we're called Kiwis.

Did you have to get the Dyrdek stamp of approval to ride for Seek?

Yep. The team manager was down to put me on, but he had to get the approval from Dyrdek, Kalis, and Mikey. Dyrdek and Kalis approved me first, but it took a while for Mikey to actually even see the tape. But it worked out and it's going super good. I'm psyched on it.

Do you have any Andrew Mapstone stories for the public?

I have one. We were in Santa Monica, and had been skating all night. We were driving back to Long Beach and stopped at this donut shop. This girl came in; not the prettiest girl, but she had a ridiculous body, like fake boobs and everything like that. We started talking and she told us that she lived around the corner, se we ended up going to her house. Crazy place--costumes everywhere--she was a go-go dancer. Not a stripper, but a dancer who dresses skimpy and gets people psyched. We convinced her to put on a costume and dance for us. She came out in this small bikini and boots, then she'd change it up. She told us we were going to stay there but we decided to go back to Huntington Beach.

Was it just you and Mapstone?

Just me and Mapstone.

Did you have to get jumped in to the Long Beach Crew?

I wouldn't say jumped in, but they certainly welcomed me to their ways, which was pretty fun. Good times in the LBC.

Were you a floor lurker over at the Kane-Stanton residence?

Basically Scott and Darrell lived there. John R lived there as well on the couch; I was on the ground with cushions from the small couch for awhile. Darrell got a new bed, so his futon mattress became my bed. No complaints there.

Darrell: How is it that you conned me by saying you were going to stay at my house for one weekend and ended up staying for five months?

Fuck, I don't know man, I guess I went with winning empathy points by saying I had nowhere else to go. I tried my best by paying my own way, buying groceries, doing dishes, vacuum cleaning. The bathroom had seriously not been clean in probably two months. And I went out and got all the things to clean it--scrubbed the floor, the shower, the toilet. I earned my keep! They helped me out so much. I don't think I'd be where I was today if I didn't get the chance to spend so much time there, because I would have probably had to have gone back to New Zealand.

Have you ever been accused of having a fake accent?

I have. Boosh used to get drunk and lose his mind; get really pissed at me. He wouldn't talk to me and he'd go around saying, "Fuck that guy! Why does he have to talk like that? He doesn't talk like that." The next day, we're cool. Another time I was hanging out with this girl for a bit and I spoke with an American accent. She was like, "You're really American. That's a fake accent!" OK, that means 1 have a fake passport, fake driver's license, fake plane ticket, fake everything. It's not worth trying to pull girls with fake accents, if you have to go through that.

Who were the famous skaters that came out of New Zealand?

Lee Ralph, Andrew Morrison, and Gareth Stehr. He's making it pretty big. That's about it so far, I think. So not that many, but New Zealand's pretty small. It's only got four-million people in the whole country.

Is there a rivalry with Australian skaters?

Not really a rivalry. We have a rivalry with everything else, like rugby, cricket, and any other team sport. Huge rivalries! We hate Australians! We kind of join forces, though, with skateboarding since we're so close.

Have you ever played rugby?

When I was, seriously, about eight- or nine-years-old. I played for this rugby club called Tukata. I hated it, man. It sucked. I only played three or four games, then I quit.

Did your parents make you?

No, not at all. I wanted to do it because my best friend played. His dad made him do it, though.

How is the healthcare there?

Oh, it's so much better than here. This placed is fucked! You have to have insurance or you're not getting treated. New Zealand, as long you're a citizen, they have a program called ATC; it's like nation-wide health insurance. So if you get injured in any way, you go fill out an ATC form and it's paid for and done.

Boosh: You always say this place is "mad." What bothers you about America?

Just the fact that everyone is so worried about everything. It sounds like a generalization. With skating stuff, people are just so freaked out by things that they need to relax about. Like this dude freaking out, thinking we're going to sue if we fall and break our arms; I don't think any skateboarder is really considering suing. If you fall, it's your fault. It's a crazy place!

What about the handrail craze?

I enjoy skating handrails. I don't like it when it gets to the real big, long handrails where you have to do a basic trick. I like small- to medium-sized rails, where you can learn new tricks and do different tricks on them. It's fun. A different approach, I guess.