Believe me, Leo, I know

First things, first; everyone hates their name so don't panic. You're probably lying there with a myriad of grinning faces staring at you (the one with the widest grin is called Uncle Alistair, by the way) wondering how you ended up with such a bum name. Take it from a namesake, it's cooler than you think. Anyway, it could have been worse. Famous parents seem to have some kind of genetic disposition to lumber their kids with toe-curlingly bad names. When you're old enough to read, look up the Geldofs, the Bowies and the Zappas for some light relief.

Anyway, you are no doubt gurgling to know were it comes from so let's get the boring history lesson over and done with. In your own case you can thank granddaddy Blair, but the name Leo has a long and varied history. I, for the record, was named after a boy in the film The Go-Between, starring Julie Christie and Alan Bates, although my father still insists I was named after his mainframe computer at work (nice one, dad). The name Leo actually comes from the Latin for the Greek "Leon" which means lion. You don't know this yet but lions are big cats from Africa who don't take any nonsense from anyone (when you're old enough, ask to see the Lion King on video, but not the Wizard of Oz). Lions are the untouchables of the savannah which is probably why so many leaders in the past have been called Leo - six emperors of Constantinople and 13 popes. Sounds cooler already, doesn't it?

In this country, the name did not become popular until the end of the 19th century when there was a revival of classical names. According to the Registrar General's Indexes of Births, by 1925 eight in 10,000 babies born in England and Wales were named Leo. This dipped to two in every 10,000 born in 1965, before picking up again to six in 10,000 by 1990. Your arrival will no doubt mark a revival of the name but you may as well revel in its exclusivity for the moment.

That brings me on to the next point - the implications of carrying a rare name. Being called Leo certainly does help to set you apart from the Charleses, Williams and, er, Tonys. This is useful when you come to experience your first Islington dinner party (ask mummy and daddy) as the forgetfully tipsy host will always be able to remember your name when introducing you to other guests. A rare name isn't so clever in the playground, though, as it is honey to the bee for the school bully. They hate the odd ones out as you will soon discover.

Being called Leo is also manna from heaven for that other school pest - the nicknamer. Here are some of the names you will be called: Leo the lion (the oh-so-original favourite by a long way), Leo Peo, Leo Weo, Coolio (after a 90s rapper, so unlikely to bother you) and the dreaded - I can barely say it - Leo Sayer. This last one is important, so take note. Again, a largely forgotten singer but one somehow imbedded into the national psyche.

You should be OK on visits to the US and Europe though as there the name is far more common (but beware daddy putting an acute on the "e" in your name when he is in Europe talking up integration). However, you will still be asked, "So then, what's Leo short for - Leonard, Leon, Leonardo, Leopold?" Grit your teeth, smile, then reply, "Nothing, just Leo". My mother insists that she thought the name Leo would be foolproof when it came to abbreviations being a three-letter word. She didn't figure on my other pet hate - being called "Lee".

As you can see, little Leo, having our name has its good and bad points but there is one I have yet to warn you about - being named after a starsign. These are a mystifying part of our culture but nonetheless important as women are seemingly transfixed by them. All I can say is that you should have some stock responses at hand when women ask you if your starsign is actually Leo. It's always a good subject to kick off the conversation with.