Being centered, setting limits and having fun.

Make change possible in your career and life by exploring three principles for thriving.

Career and life issues that many association executives face today were rare even 10 years ago. I'm sure you recognize them: unrelenting job stress, longer workdays, limited staff support, and home issues such as taking care of an elderly parent, among others. In addition, many association professionals with staffs of one or two experience the stress of wearing numerous hats: convention coordinator, receptionist, volunteer recruiter, newsletter editor. Then, too, there's the stress of balancing your dual roles of leader and manger. Some of you would surely agree that when faced with multiple demands on the job along with your other priorities, you begin to feel as though your life is spiraling out of control. In fact, a number of recent studies by the New York City-based Work and Family Institute support these contentions:

* More and more working professionals have indicated that they would be willing to sacrifice money and advancement to gain control over their jobs and schedules.

* Overburdened by increased demands at work, many of today's professionals feel cheated out of time for themselves as well as for their families.

* Seven percent of working Americans (1 in 14) say they care for an elderly relative, friend, or spouse. Within the next five years, 18 percent of all workers expect to take on the responsibility of caring for an elderly person.

* One third of employed college-educated adults surveyed by the Gallup organization indicated that if given the opportunity to start over again, they would opt for a different line of work.

Also consider the stresses inherent in the unprecedented changes that futurist Alvin Toffler, in his best-selling book Future Shock, literally predicted. In addition to the previously mentioned demographic factors, Toffler wrote about the technological revolution. We're seeing evidence of rapid technological advances through the use of fax machines, e-mail, the Internet, cellular phones, scanners, and video conferencing - common influences on our daily lives. The speed at which we live our lives is constantly being accelerated by these and other technological "advances."

Help is on the way

A number of association professionals I've chatted with during the past several months have indicated that they're feeling the impact of these changes on their careers and their lives. You may be able to identify, at least occasionally, with these same feelings. Yet it is possible to manage change and develop a greater sense of career focus by exploring the three principles I describe here. These principles can provide a foundation for empowering your career and life in the midst of today's dynamic environment.

1. The principle of centeredness. Only a few years ago, my own career and life direction were so out of control that I could barely function. I had truly lost my enthusiasm and drive for what I was doing personally and professionally. On Monday mornings, I literally began counting the hours until Friday. I even budgeted a one-hour block of time each day on my Franklin Planner to just worry about tomorrow's events.

Then one day in the midst of having to make some key life decisions, someone reminded me of the saying "Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is only a dream. All we can focus on is today." The question I pose to you is, are you focusing on today, the present moment, the 62,000 seconds you have in a day? Are you taking charge of your career planning efforts? Is your work as an association executive, meeting planner, educator, or publisher a passion or a paycheck? Are you taking time each day to focus on your future goals? When we take a glance in the mirror and reflect on these questions, many of us discover that some important things are missing from our lives. (See sidebar, "Wellness: A Powerful Marketing Tool.")

To become a centered person, you need a foundation consisting of a strong mission or purpose in life, values to assist you in your decision-making efforts, and a vision to steer your future. You can discover so much about yourself and begin to address these issues in your life by simply taking 15-20 minutes of quiet time each day to reflect and reconnect with what's truly important.

You may have to relinquish all or part of some other activity to make this time, but once you do, you can make it a habit. In fact, there is an outstanding book that has assisted countless individuals in their efforts to reclaim a sense of life's meaning and satisfaction by helping them manage the precious moments in each day more effectively. I would go as far as to say that this book had a monumental effect on my relationship with my family as well as on my health when I was going through some major transitions in my own career and life. The book, You Don't Have to Go Home From Work Exhausted, by Ann McGee-Cooper, is a gem (see "ASAE Resources" sidebar, page 47). I encourage you to pick it up if you're feeling a little off center today.

2. The principle of limits. A German proverb states, "He who begins too much accomplishes little." How often do you find yourself trying to be. all things to all people? Maybe you chair several committees, or maybe you schedule all of the presenters for three major conferences each year, or maybe you coach your son's or daughter's basketball team. Aren't you hearing an inner voice saying, "Is all of this possible?"

Stephen Covey, in his book First Things First, challenges us to re-examine the "all things to all people" mentality and begin to focus our attention toward what is truly important versus what is urgent. Our willingness to say no occurs when our actions are consistent with our core values in life.

In today's rapidly changing environment, where setting limits often is not the norm, there is no doubt that our careers are being affected by the debilitating effect of stress. In fact, the American Academy of Family Physicians, Kansas City, Missouri, estimates that two thirds of all visits to family physicians result from stress-related symptoms. Even more shocking is the fact that most heart attacks occur on Monday mornings at 8 a.m. - the result of starting another workweek.

In addition to placing limits on the number of major responsibilities we are handling at one time, one of the most valuable ways of renewing ourselves in the midst of career burnout is to take a vacation. Michael Kulczycki, executive director of the Illinois Home Care Council, Chicago, amazed his staff a year ago January by taking his family on a weeklong skiing vacation the week prior to the council's big winter meeting and exposition. "The lesson here," says Kulczycki, "is that my office can function without me. I left them my number in case of an emergency and said, 'Team, you're in charge.'"

Time spent away reevaluating your career and life priorities helps to bring a greater sense of balance to the physical, social, mental, and spiritual aspects of your life. These breaks also assist us in reconnecting with the important people in our lives, including ourselves. They provide us with an opportunity to relax, refocus, and recharge for our next professional and/or personal challenge.

3. The principle of fun. An old Hungarian proverb states, "Where ambition ends, happiness begins." Because we get so caught up in our professional ambitions, many of us fail to keep life in its proper perspective by having fun. Recently I was talking to a colleague of mine about the fact that he always seems to be having fun in whatever he's doing. He responded by saying that one of the rules that he has set for the people who work for him is that if the day's duties and responsibility seem like drudgery and no one is having fun, then the office is to be closed for the day. Many of us fail to embrace the fun moments in life because our minds tell us that the more hours we work, the greater the results. Perhaps you've been putting off playing nine holes of golf with your friends or taking that shopping excursion with your family, or maybe it's taking time for a leisurely weekend horseback ride at a local stable, or reading that novel you purchased months ago.

According to a Recreation Round Table/Roper Starch Worldwide survey, people who have recreation in their lives on a regular basis are more likely than others to be completely satisfied with their lives. Unfortunately the conventional wisdom of the '90s is one of seriousness. This attitude tends to spill over into our personal lives and becomes a prescription for unhappiness.

Challenge yourself to make that commitment today to budget time to participate in fun activities. Put them on your calendar if necessary. Try to remember what was once fun about your job and life, and then re-create those experiences. Find humor in the little things on the job. Laugh often and live by the Latin phrase carpe diem - seize the day.

RELATED ARTICLE: Wellness: A Powerful Marketing Tool

Too often, professionals sacrifice their well-being in pursuit of status, power, and finances. But in truth, if you can't take care of yourself, how will you be able to take care of your organization? Maybe it's time you saw good health for what it really is: your most valuable asset.

Adopting a lifestyle of wellness - including nutrition, exercise, and stress management - not only improves your appearance but also increases your energy level, which in turn increases your creativity and productivity. Wellness helps you cope with stress and gives you an optimistic and enthusiastic outlook. People who adopt wellness as a way of life look rested and alert and radiate good health. They make good first impressions, and they have the energy, clearheadedness, and stamina to effectively market their ideas.

Wellness is about feeling better, and the key to achieving wellness is to make small but significant changes in your daily habits. For example, exercise at least 20 minutes three to five days a week. Here, too, are some simple suggestions for coping effectively with stress.

* Plan ahead. A good schedule can help you avoid unnecessary stress.

* Set realistic expectations. Setting goals that can't be met, for instance, only increases stress, whereas meeting goals creates a sense of accomplishment.

* Laugh at your mistakes.

* Put situations into perspective. Some things are not as important or as bad as they seem at the time.

* Learn to say no - that is, to set limits on what others demand of you.

* Take time out for yourself.

Across a lifetime, small changes in your daily habits can have a big impact on your professional and personal life. If you learn to take care of yourself, you will succeed because the most important thing you own is your health.

- Christina Samycia, president of Wellness Innovations, a wellness consulting company in Schaumburg, Illinois. E-mail: [e-mail].

Michael P. Scott is the managing partner of Empowerment Unlimited, Inc., Downers Grove, Illinois, an organization dedicated to helping people and businesses build relationships. E-mail: [e-mail].