Be my musical valentine.

Byline: LEWIS TAYLOR The Register-Guard

On the off chance that head-banging to punishing heavy metal music is not the way you and your sweetie had hoped to spend this Valentine's Day, we've pulled together some alternatives to Slayer's much-anticipated St. Valentine's Day Massacre on Thursday at the McDonald Theatre (see story, next page.)

However, if metal really is the food of love for you and yours - rock on!

The Kirby Grips, the Jolenes, Tippy Canoe 9 p.m. Sunday, John Henry's, $3

If the florist is out of roses, you can always get your girl (or guy) a ticket to see the Kirby Grips. This San Francisco "garage-ey girl punk" trio has more thorns than a dozen long-stems.

The show is on Sunday, but that hasn't kept the band from calling this a St. Valentine's Day Pop Party. The poppy Portland sweethearts known as the Jolenes will open this show along with Tippy Canoe, a solo ukulele player who takes on love songs.

Dick Dale, the Boss Martians, Throw Rag, 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, WOW Hall, $12 advance, $14 door

"Let's Make Love" was the title of the Marilyn Monroe flick that legendary surf guitarist Dick Dale starred in. It's a tenuous way of connecting him to Valentine's Day, but, who cares? It's Dick Dale!

Not only did he invent surf rock, he invented the amplifier that helped turn rock into metal. Impress your love interest with these and other fun facts about Dick Dale - and don't forget about the theme music he wrote for Disney's Space Mountain roller coaster.

The Boss Martians, a Tacoma band, will open the show, along with Throw Rag, a six-piece "sailor rock" and punk band.

Down From the Mountain, 7 p.m., Wednesday, Arlene Schnitzer Hall, Portland (sold out)

It's not on Valentine's Day, but if you can scrounge up tickets to this sold-out show, you're guaranteed to earn big V-Day points from your honey.

Alison Krauss & Union Station headline this all-star Americana gathering, which features the musical stars of "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" the hottest soundtrack album of last year.

The full lineup includes Emmylou Harris, Patty Loveless, Ralph Stanley, the Whites, Norman & Nancy Blake, Chris Thomas King, Bob Neuwirth, the Peasall Sisters and the Nashville Bluegrass Band. With unscalped tickets selling for $45 and $75, you can expect to pay the price for this one, but, just remember: Love doesn't come cheap.

Nimbus, Tympanic, 9 p.m. Thursday, Samurai Duck, $3, or $5 per couple

When a powerful aphrodisiac isn't available, a power trio may be the next best thing. The funk, rock, jazz and blues trio Nimbus headlines an evening of Valentine's Day music.

The folk-rock, four-piece Tympanic will open the show.

The Paperboys, 9 p.m. Thursday, Sam Bond's Garage, $10

When you think of Valentine's Day, Canadian-Irish music by way of Seville might not be the first thing to spring to mind. But you'd be surprised how romantic a good flamenco-Celtic reel by Tom Landa and the Paperboys can be. The Vancouver, B.C., six-piece will be mixing it up for all the lovers in the house.

If you're an early bird, or if you want to bring the kids out, you can catch one of Eugene's best songwriters, Dan Jones, in an early show at 7:30 p.m. Jones is part of the Parents Who Rock series at Sam Bond's.

`One Night Stand' featuring live music by Deadlines, 10 p.m. Thursday, Diablo's Downtown Lounge, $5 (ladies free)

If Valentine's Day makes you think not of rose petals and champagne but of leather and lace, Diablo's Downtown Lounge is the place for you. The club will have an "Alternative to Valentine's Day Party," which features all sorts of sick fun for those who are heart candy- intolerant.

The Deadlines, a garage punk band made up of male fashion models, will provide live entertainment upstairs, while a DJ spins music downstairs.

Delphina and Exclusively Adult will present a fashion show to remember. Along with door prizes and a vacation raffle, club managers promise lots and lots of free condoms.

WYMPROV! Valentine Show: `How We First Met,' 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Lord Leebrick Theatre, $12

This show isn't happening just in Eugene; it's going on in 14 different cities, including Kobe, Japan, and Melbourne, Australia. Organized by San Francisco artist Jill Bourque, the show converts the stories of real-life couples into improvisational theater.

The Eugene component will be hosted by the all-women performance group WYMPROV! and Jennifer Self (aka Eugene's Funniest Person). WYMPROV! members say the intent is not to make fun of unwitting couples, but to have fun with real-life love stories.

Pink Martini, 8 p.m. Feb. 15, McDonald Theatre, $14 advance, $16 day of show

If you're a procrastinator, you can celebrate your love a day late with Pink Martini.

Since its accidental founding in 1994, the ultra-romantic Portland band has been serenading couples from Lebanon, Ore., to Beirut, Lebanon. The 10-piece ensemble will fill the McDonald with Cuban rumbas, Parisian cafe tunes, classical standards - even Croatian originals.

You might also hear songs to be included on the group's soon-to-be-recorded new album, due out in late summer.

TSOL, Agnostic Front, the Casualties, Blasphemous Abnormality, 8:30 p.m. Thursday, WOW Hall, $12

If you prefer a punk rock Valentine's Day, the WOW Hall will have the recently reunited Orange County band TSOL.

The 1980s punk rock favorite returns with a new album (`Disappear') and the same lineup. Listen for sweet classics such as "Superficial Love" and "Sodomy."

The hard-core New York City band Agnostic Front will open the show, along with the Casualties and Blasphemous Abnormality.

CAPTION(S):

The Kirby Grips will lead their own version of a holiday ball Sunday at John Henry's: a St. Valentine's Day Pop Party. Ride the wild surf with Dick Dale on Wednesday at the WOW Hall.