Bangers for cash; MY HOT GUIDE TO BUYING A GRAND OLD LADY OF THE ROAD.

Byline: Richard Hammond

THE two most dangerous inventions of the past 100 years are the atom bomb and eBay.

The first because it can wipe out the human race and the second because it can wipe out your bank balance. Especially if you love cars.

Almost all of my car-mad mates have fallen into temptation while having a quick post-pub browse before hitting the sack. You wake up in the morning with a hangover and a rusty old Mini.

Several years ago I got carried away and bought a new Porsche 911. By the time the salesman had sweet- talked me into adding a few options it cost a packet. I've still got the car and it's now probably worth half what I paid for it.

Around about the same time I also bought a classic 1968 Ford Mustang, just like the one Steve McQueen drove in Bullitt.

It's great, it sounds fantastic and it's rather fast. Unfortunately it doesn't make me look like a movie star but I feel like one when I'm driving it. Best of all it's worth at least the same money now as it was when I bought it.

If you want a motor that will draw admiring glances from friends - and friends of the opposite sex - a classic car is a great way to go. It can also save you a lot of money, and not just by avoiding new-car depreciation. If you buy a classic built before January 1, 1973 it is classed as a historic vehicle and therefore you will pay pounds 0 road tax.

And then there's insurance. Many companies offer special classic car policies that are extremely cheap.

Usually you can insure for a limited mileage - say 2,000 miles a year - and bring the premium even lower.

Insurance companies assume that if you have a cherished classic car you'll look after it by not crashing it into a ditch or leaving it in the bad part of town with the keys in the ignition.

My Mustang has about 10 moving parts and one of those is me.

Well not quite, but it doesn't have computers or mysterious boxes with spaghetti hanging out.

If it breaks down you hit it with a hammer and that often fixes it. Parts are cheap and if the axle breaks you can get a bloke with oily hands and a baseball cap to repair it.

But best of all classic cars are lovely things. That's why advertising companies use them to sell products and why Morse didn't drive a Toyota Camry.

So to whet your appetite, here's my stonking selection of classic motors to suit all pockets and weathers. Just don't ring me when it goes wrong...

ROADSTERS WITHIN YOUR REACH

MG MGB ROADSTER

AS British as fish 'n' chips and umbrellas. Very easy to own because nearly all parts are available new. Agricultural engine and average handling. Built from 1962 till 1980. Later cars had rubber bumpers and don't look so pretty. How much? Around pounds 3,500 will get you a roadworthy early 70s car - but the nice ones start at over pounds 5,000.

TRIUMPH SPITFIRE 

PRETTY sports car from an Italian designer. Almost as easy to own as a MGB. Tricky handling improved with modifications and good tyres. Economical, light and easy to work on. Earlier Mk1s and 2s prettiest, later 1500 - made until 1980 - easiest to get hold of and most modern. How much? Top-notch 1500 costs about pounds 5,000, nice models from pounds 3k.

ALFA ROMEO SPIDER

MADE famous by Dustin Hoffman driving one in The Graduate - his was a series 1 with the pretty pointy tail. Expensive now, so try a series 2. More sophisticated than Brit rivals with twincam engine and Weber carbs. Very stylish. Bad for rust, but all classics are. How much? About pounds 5,000 for series 2 rising to pounds 15k+ for a "Graduate" series 1.

FUN CARS WORTH A FLUTTER

MINI

TWIGGY, Peter Sellers and George Harrison had them. Great fun to drive and much smaller than a new one. The Cooper S is costly now but you can tune up a standard car and make it fly. Massive parts industry and know-how so easy to own. How much? Early 60s cars in good nick hard to find but expect to pay about pounds 4-5,000 for a really nice one.

VW BEETLE

VERY quirky and cool. Popular with surfing types (or people who wear surfing clothes). Beetles are often customised so it's getting difficult to find a good standard one. Mists up in winter, on or off heater and lots of other foibles but a great icon.

How much? Around pounds 2,500 will do it but watch for rust.

FIAT 500

YOU won't believe how small the original 500 is and that you could get whole Italian families into them. It's powered (just) by a two-cylinder engine with a very distinctive noise. You can still find them in Italy being used daily.

How much? Getting rarer and more valuable. Nothing much good over here for under pounds 5,000.

SALOON CARS WITH STYLE

JAGUAR XJ6

LAUNCHED in 1968, the Jag saloon has looked similar for generations. There were six-cylinder engines and a brilliant but thirsty 5.3-litre V12. Earlier models look better. Best is the rare XJ6 Coupe - with vinyl roof to hide the line of weld where the roof was shortened. How much? Rough ones: hundreds. Don't do it. A nice 70s XJ costs from pounds 5k.

ROVER 3500S

KNOWN as the P6, it was popular with bank managers and was built in the days when Rover was innovative. You could buy a P6 with a sixcylinder engine but the 3.5-litre V8 (used by Range Rover and other Brits like the Morgan) was the one to have. How much? Prices vary from about pounds 3,000 - going up to pounds 7,000 for a real corker.

FORD CORTINA MK2 1600E

THE 1600E was the poshest version of the MK2 Cortina and had a wooden dashboard loaded with dials and gauges. The Lotus Cortina was sportier but too expensive for most people. The 1600E was the one to have if you weren't rich enough for a Jag.

How much? Rare in good nick. Expect to pay around pounds 4-pounds 5,000.

CAPTION(S):

ECONOMY DRIVE A classic can be relatively easy to run and repair