Back to the future.

Star date: September 2027.

Well, The Advocate is turning 60, and I have been asked to document the most significant moments of the past 30 years for our movement. (I remember doing this once before, way back in 1997, when The Advocate turned 30.) Here goes!

Looking back to the turn of the century, one would have to admit the real breakthrough came in the year 2000, when a Naming Convention was finally called to establish a new "naming convention." Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual--even pansexual--people of all shapes, sizes, ages, races, and genders gathered in Pittsburgh, Pa., and after three days of intense word wrestling, all forever became known as Fuchsia, the Fuchsia people, or Fuchsians. This innovation was recently cited by the Sierra Club as a principal factor in saving entire forests from the pulp mills during the first two decades of the century--not to mention the tons of writing space that emerged on the letterhead of many organizations.

Another breakthrough came just before the turn of the century when a bill called the Employment Non-Discrimination Act was passed by Congress, delivering a major civil rights watershed. An organization called the Human Rights Campaign (later the Fuchsian Rights Campaign) built upon the victory in a series of strategic moves and over the next decade succeeded in ushering in a multitude of protections in housing, public accommodations, marriage, the military, inheritance, taxation, Social Security, and all sorts of other benefits and protections rooted in family and civic life. Although the work went largely unnoticed by some in the national media, the latest fashion trends were reported on widely: Fuchsia hipster pants tucked loosely into fuchsia boots were all the rage at the turn of the century.

Unfortunately, in 2004 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional for Congress to establish marriage rights for gay people (they hadn't caught on to the Fuchsia thing), so that part of the new ENDA law was dumped. Then in 2005 the first Hawaii marriage case landed in the high court's lap. The plaintiffs were an ideal Vermont couple, Jill and Molly Sanders, who had donned leis and jogger shirts (circa 1973) and made their way to the Aloha State in 1998. They were weekend farmers, fond of strolling down Vermont country lanes, both longtime employees of Ben & Jerry's. (Fuchsia Nut Chunky was introduced in their honor in 2009.)

Way back in 1997 Dan Foley and the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund had won a landmark marriage case in Hawaii. Two years later after a massive nationwide effort to save the Hawaii constitution, the right was preserved--then everyone was off to the altars. All kinds of Fuchsia people made their way to the islands. They went in boats, planes, and later by jet-stream pack. There were even virtual marriages on the media Net by 2003. Fuchsia leis were enormously popular well into the first decade (and reported on in detail by the national Fuchsia press).

There were important cultural advancements as well. By 2006 once it had been firmly established as the Fuchsia movement for equal rights--Ellen DeGeneres was quoted as saying, "Look, it's a much better word, and, yep, I like the color." In 2009 a major scandal erupted at the Screen Actors Guild when it was discovered dozens of actors were trying to pass as Fuchsian, citing the need to work. Former president Bill Clinton (star of Sling Blade V) said, "Diversity is our strength, and doggone it, straight Americans need to be seen too." And in 2017, Melissa Etheridge was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Every historian would agree, however, that the real fireworks--the transformative moment--came after the new Fuchsian Declaration of Independence was issued in 2012. A modern-day Boston Tea Party exploded overnight as Fuchsians all over the nation escrowed their state and federal taxes until such time as equality truly reigned in the land. Thousands upon thousands of Fuchsia Americans were hunted down and jailed by the Internal Revenue Service. People burned their tax returns in the streets. Many gained solace and strength from the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who reminded us in the last century that "social change cannot come overnight, but we must act as though it were a possibility the next morning." The nation has continued to struggle to fully embrace all its sons and daughters.

By the end of the first decade a resurgence of religious expression had really taken hold in the community as Fuchsia Americans reclaimed rituals left behind or embraced new paths of spiritual development. It became fully understood that as we developed a more unified expression of our raw political clout and our dreams, grace could not be left behind.

In politics and commerce Fuchsia people continued to make gains. By 2011 Fuchsia people had taken over many positions of power: ABC, NBC, and CBS were all run by lesbians. The first gay cabinet secretary was appointed in 2000, and by 2014 Congress claimed ten openly Fuchsian members. And as far as anyone can tell, at least three Fuchsians will run in next year's presidential election, representing each of the national political parties--Democrat, Republican, and Fuchsian. National Coming Out Day (October 11) was made a national holiday in 2025, and just last year a memorial to gay leaders in the last century, featuring figures like Harvey Milk and Audre Lorde, was dedicated before a tearful crowd in Washington.

We beat AIDS by the first decade of this century, but the human race still engages in viral warfare. The AIDS Wall, with a waterway known as the River of Tears, stretches more than a mile along the Potomac River. The last panel for the AIDS quilt was completed just five years ago.

In 2005 after it was determined that the Joint Chiefs as well as 1 in 2 service members were Fuchsian, the ban on gays in the military was lifted. But it wasn't until 2020, building on the work of Dean Hamer, that the National Institutes of Health finally established a definitive genetic link to sexual orientation. Interestingly, grace and divinity were linked to the same gene. Fortunately, America had already figured out that the world runs in many ways on Fuchsia spirit. Who wants bland beige--although ironically a whole series on beige fashion was featured in the national Fuchsia press during the second decade.

And old leaders, they don't die; they don't even fade away. Urvashi Vaid has to be given intense calming therapy at her alternative Fuchsia retirement center (she continues to chase after George Bush's great-grandchildren with signs). Andrew Sullivan, late in his life, after the right to marry had been won, published a 50-volume set titled Virtual Christianity: Was Jesus Gay? (Vol. I); How About His Disciples? (Vol. II); Why Weren't Jesus's Disciples Married? (Vol. III); Why "Fuchsia"? "Gay" Worked Just Fine (Vol. IV), etc. Bob Hattoy (of Clinton administration fame) wrote his definitive work in 2010 titled It Takes the Village People to Raise a Child. And I just heard that Tom Rielly moved the headquarters of PlanetOut to--where else?--the planet Out. Other cool stuff happened too. Apple Computer hired its first lesbian chief executive officer in 2006, and the company exploded back on the scene with the introduction of the first handheld wireless computer driven entirely by gay icons. A handful of people made a bundle on gay retirement developments.

And, you know, it's ironic. We've come full circle. After so many years of struggle and worry, wouldn't you know it? The young Fuchsia people want nothing to do with marriage, and the military has been rejected out of hand as an option by 80% of young Fuchsians. And, well, life on the planet goes on. I hear there is a cool new Fuchsia community on Mars. I think I'll check it out.

Birch is executive director of the gay lobbying group Human Rights Campaign, which is based in Washington, D.C.