Back to the Coliseum.

From an article in The Times of London on what office workers in Rome do during their off-hours to relieve stress: For a little more than $100, "blood-thirsty Romans can now strap on some sandals, slip on a tunic, and join a course that teaches them the joys of hand-to-hand combat. Stressed-out office workers are flocking to the school.... Each student on the course is given blunted steel weapons, full body armor, and a name from Nero's eleventh Claudia legion. A typical combat involves two adversaries, each armed with two swords and a shield, hammering out a tinpan symphony on each other.... Women, or rather Amazons, are more than welcome to join in the melee so long as they wear costumes that are suitably risque."

Butt Out!

From the on-line edition of the Orlando Sentinel datelined Bratt, Florida, on an unusual fundraiser at Northview High School: "`I don't have a problem with fundraisers, but having to buy things for grades is a whole other thing,' said parent Lisa Emmons. She bought $203.75 worth of meat to ensure her daughter's A, she said. Secretary Pat Brown of the School Advisory Council was also angry that students had to sell pork to make the grade. `I was told if my daughter sold ten Boston butts, she made 100; nine of them, a 90, and so on,' Brown said. `That means Mama's going to be buying her grade. I don't have time to run around pushing Boston butts.' Principal Gayle Weaver denied the sales were linked to grades, but journalism teacher Vicki Baggett, whose father smoked the butts, admitted they counted for 10 percent of a student's grade and were an essential part of her class. Both defended the sales."

Saturday Night Special 

From a Reuters on-line report datelined Powell, Tennessee, on used car dealer Greg "Lumpy" Lambert, the head of Advantage Auto Sales: "On what he has dubbed `Second Amendment Saturday'--a reference to the U.S. Constitution's arms-bearing provision--buyers will receive a voucher redeemable for a used, bolt action rifle at GunCraft Sports in nearby West Knoxville.... There's something for the kids, too--every child who comes to the lot gets a free squirt gun, even if their parents don't buy a car."

The CIA Plays It Safe

From an article in The Wall Street Journal on the recent partnership between the CIA's venture capital firm, In-Q-Tel, and SafeWeb, Inc., a year-old startup co-founded by Stephen Hsu that specializes in offering the utmost in internet privacy: "The CIA ... wants to use a SafeWeb program to mask its own movements on the Internet, so it can gather information incognito.... `I'm sure we'll take a hit from the 5 percent of our most paranoid customers,' says Mr. Hsu.... But the CIA connection, he says, is deliberately distant. SafeWeb will provide the agency with customized software, but the CIA will have no access to the company's web computers or the workings of its core software, he insists.... `If our technology can satisfy them,' Mr. Hsu says, `it can satisfy just about anyone.'"

Greyhound Ally

From a Reuters on-line report datelined Los Angeles: "Charismatic cats and dogs are wanted for a new Animal Planet Live attraction due to open at Universal Studios ... in both Hollywood and Orlando.... `We've already heard from a terrier who resembles Tom Hanks in CastAway and a greyhound that looks like Ally McBeal star Calista Flockhart,' said a Universal Studios spokesman."

Peace and Portfolios

From a Reuters on-line report datelined New Delhi: "An Indian guru has a remedy for investors to tackle tension: Raise your hands and declare you're happy. `You've got to throw up your arms and say, "I'm peaceful and happy. And that happiness does not depend upon indices,'" guru Swami Parthasarathy told a foreign exchange traders' conference in New Delhi. `You could be as active as possible and the indexes can shoot into the sky or go deep into the ocean but it wouldn't bother you,' he added."

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