Back on track after leaving a gang.

The community I've grown up in is the type of place where making a bad decision can put you on a path that's hard to get off. And it's hard to stay on the right track when you have friends (or so-called friends) who tell you to ditch school and go to what we call a "kick-back."

A kick-back is when a group of students--usually 13- to 18-year-olds--cut school and get together at someone's house. A lot of bad things tend to happen: People get drunk and high, and start arguing about stupid things. Then the arguments turn into fistfights.

I got involved in all of this when I was about 13. I had friends way older than me--as old as 25--and they seemed so cool to me. I didn't want to be doing what kids my age were doing.

It made me feel big to be hanging out with people so much older. I started liking everything they did. And a lot of what they did was gang-related: fights, tattoos, writing on walls, claiming a street. I thought if I hung out with people like that, I'd be cool too.

PROVING LOYALTY

To get into a gang, you have to endure a ritual called "getting jumped." It involves letting four or five girls who are already in the gang beat you up for about 30 seconds. Once I was in the gang, I had to go to their meetings. If I was asked to do a mission--like writing graffiti on a wall in another gang's territory or stealing a car--I had to do it to prove my loyalty to my gang.

If any other gang that we didn't get along with got into our neighborhood, there was a lot of fighting. Then each gang would keep striking back at the other.

Last year, I realized what I was doing wasn't right. My mother was always praying for me, and my dad was so worried about me that he couldn't go to work.

I was constantly getting into trouble in school for fighting or for not attending school at all. I couldn't even walk down certain streets without worrying about other gangs attacking me. I was supposed to be willing to die to defend a street that my gang had claimed, but I didn't buy it anymore.

This was not only affecting my life but also my family's: My little brother and sister would cry when I left the house. I realized I was a bad example for them, and I didn't like that.

GETTING OUT

That's why I told the gang I wanted out. It wasn't easy. I stopped calling them, and now I'm going to a different school, so I hardly ever see them.

While I was in the gang I missed so much school that I fell a grade behind. I'm working really hard this year to boost my credits so I can get back to the right grade level.

Someday I hope to be a probation officer or a social worker. I know I want to do something that helps kids like me. Because I know it isn't easy.

Lesly Castillo is in 10th grade at Truth High School in South Central Los Angeles.