BURY THIS ONE IN THE LITTER BOX.Byline: Evan Henerson Staff Writer Before this review of ``Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties,'' we give you this brief but important public service announcement. Direct ... to ... video! Direct ... to... video! Thank you. We now return you to the previously scheduled critical evisceration evisceration /evis·cer·a·tion/ (e-vis?er-a´shun) 1. removal of the abdominal viscera. 2. removal of the contents of the eyeball, leaving the sclera. e·vis·cer·a·tion n. . Sorry, evaluation. Unless you are a person who enjoys watching computerized animals being made to engage in decidedly un-critter-like behaviors, you should find this ``Garfield'' sequel to be the celluloid equivalent of a hairball hair·ball n. A small mass of hair located in the stomach or intestine of an animal, such as a cat, resulting from an accumulation of small amounts of hair that are swallowed each time the animal licks its coat. . There are indeed, to every civilized being's misfortune, two kitties in this ``Tail'' of same. Garfield, the portly port·ly adj. port·li·er, port·li·est 1. Comfortably stout; corpulent. See Synonyms at fat. 2. Archaic Stately; majestic; imposing. [From port5. cat of the Jim Davis comic strip comic strip, combination of cartoon with a story line, laid out in a series of pictorial panels across a page and concerning a continuous character or set of characters, whose thoughts and dialogues are indicated by means of "balloons" containing written speech. , is mistaken for Prince, the feline heir to the royal Carlyle estate in England. Garfield's owner, Jon Arbuckle (played by Breckin Meyer Breckin Erin Meyer[1] (born May 7, 1974) is an American actor and producer. Biography Early life Meyer was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota to Dorothy Ann (Vial), a travel agent and former microbiologist, and Christopher William Meyer, a management ), has crossed the Atlantic trying to work up the guts to propose to his vet girlfriend, Liz (``Ghost Whisperer's'' Jennifer Love Hewitt, sporting Marlo Thomas hair). Jealous Garfield wants to sabotage this union. Over in Carlyle, meanwhile, spurned spurn v. spurned, spurn·ing, spurns v.tr. 1. To reject disdainfully or contemptuously; scorn. See Synonyms at refuse1. 2. To kick at or tread on disdainfully. v. heir Lord Dargis (Bill Connolly) plans to develop condos on the manor the moment Prince breathes his last. So, as any buffoonish would-be murderer would do, he packs the half-suspecting kitty into a picnic basket and flings it into the river. The estate's four-legged set, fearing for their lives and without a leader, convince Garfield to impersonate im·per·son·ate tr.v. im·per·son·at·ed, im·per·son·at·ing, im·per·son·ates 1. To assume the character or appearance of, especially fraudulently: impersonate a police officer. 2. Prince and enjoy the pampering that comes with the job. Garfield promptly trashes the place and teaches the animals to make lasagna (the film's single amusing scene). The plot (credited to Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow) is enough to generate a few plausibility questions. This being a ``Garfield,'' however, here's what discerning minds might really want to know: Precisely how many drama school hours must a British thespian endure before being qualified to play a British cat (Tim Curry as the voice of Prince), a bulldog (Bob Hoskins), a duck (Jane Leeves), a rabbit (Rhys Ifans) or a two-legged solicitor (Roger Reese)? And exactly how big a paycheck did Bill Murray cash in exchange for delivering the stream of connecting one-liners that dribble so listlessly list·less adj. Lacking energy or disinclined to exert effort; lethargic: reacted to the latest crisis with listless resignation. out of Garfield's animated mouth? And why is the animated star always the creepiest and phoniest-looking beast in the menagerie? This movie is intended for young audiences whose animal fix could be infinitely better-served watching creatures at a bark park or petting zoo. Granted, the live animals might smell a bit, but the stench could not be any worse than that given off by ``A Tail of Two Kitties.'' Evan Henerson, (818) 713-3651 evan.henerson@dailynews.com GARFIELD: A TAIL OF TWO KITTIES - One and one half stars (PG: some off-color elements) Starring: Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Connolly, Bill Murray. Director: Tim Hill. Running time: 1 hr. 18 min. Playing: In wide release. In a nutshell: A low-rent mix of ``Babe'' and ``The Prince and the Pauper An impoverished person who is supported at public expense; an indigent litigant who is permitted to sue or defend without paying costs; an impoverished criminal defendant who has a right to receive legal services without charge. PAUPER. .'' CAPTION(S): photo Photo: On a trans-Atlantic journey, comic cat Garfield meets his royal look-alike, Prince, heir to a British manor, in ``Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.'' |
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