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BUNCH OF DATES!; The pick of the calendars.

As you count the days after New Year until your next holiday, will you be ogling a glam movie star or giggling over this month's joke?

Whatever you prefer, you'll be parting with anywhere between a fiver and pounds 10 for the calendar of your choice.

But remember, if you end up with a dud you have to live with it for the next 12 months.

So we asked David Reid, 10, and Julia Murray, 11, from Lochwinnoch, to cast a critical eye over the calendars for 1997.

And student nurse Lesley Bruce, 20, and her boyfriend Richard Catterson, 21, owned up to who they'd most like to wake up to next year, and decided if it was a blind date or a BLAND date.

FOR THE KIDS...

Muppet Parody, pounds 4.99

Coolest of the lot, it's pure Muppet magic as they take on the advertisers and win every time, from Kermit Clein undies to Spamela Hamderson's Babe Watch.

Rating: *****

Boyzone, pounds 4.99

Fans would buy this even if they had paper bags over their heads, but there's a variety of solo and group photos to keep them hooked all year round.

Rating: ****

101 Dalmatians, pounds 4.99

Spot on. Good value, lovely full-colour drawings that change with the seasons.

Rating: ****

Spice Girls, pounds 4.99

Like the Girls - bright, fruity, fuzzy and likely to fade fast! This won't incite a teenage riot with their "girl power" thoughts for the month, but they're a nice idea.

Rating: ***

Oasis, pounds 4.99

The pics might be "live", but it's dull and lifeless. Dismally gloomy and dark, is this an omen for Oasis in 1997?

Rating: **

FOR HER...

Friends, pounds 4.99

Trendy and stylish, just like the show. Witty in-jokes for fans, glam pics for the fair-weather Friends. Ideal for all the Rachels out there.

Rating: *****

Coronation Street, pounds 4.99

Cosy with couthy comments by Betty Turpin. Vintage scenes, vintage jokes, and a quiz on each page - strictly for Street addicts and grannies.

Rating: ****

Cliff Richard, pounds 4.99

Has-been Heathcliffe gets the heave. Crinklier than Noel Edmonds' bottom, no self-respecting gal would thank Santa for putting this in her stocking.

Rating: *

Peter Andre, pounds 4.99

Smouldering sensuously on every page, 12 months of dusky pop-hunk Pete pulling the same pose could get a bit boring.

Rating: *

Brad Pitt, pounds 4.99

Once you get past the sexy stetson shot on the cover, it's downhill all the way to December with sexpot Pitt. They've raked up the old, the bad and the ugly for what amounts to a rip-off.

Rating: **

FOR HIM..

X Files, pounds 6.50

Spookily stylish, but a scary monster spewing gunk on January gets `97 off to a bad start. Not enough of the sultry Scully to appeal to guys.

Rating: ***

Sam Fox, pounds 4.99

More tacky than titillating, the over-ripe ex-Page Three stunner is stuck in an '80s time warp. Glossy, but they're flogging a dead horse.

Rating: *

Claudia Schiffer, pounds 5.99

How could they make the divine Ms Schiffer look cheap and nasty? By running off old-hat pics on a colour photocopier and selling them like this. a let-down.

Rating: **

Barb Wire, pounds 4.99

Pam packs a punch as the Uzi-totin' biker chick. Stills from the movie aren't the best quality, but the cartoon strip background is pretty cool. But is Barb-Pammie old hat?

Rating: ***
COPYRIGHT 1996 Scottish Daily Record & Sunday
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1996 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Publication:Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Nov 17, 1996
Words:567
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