BROCKLEBANK COLUMN: I'm a star - get me in here schooldays.

NOT everywhere is in thrall to celebrity Britain. Michael Owen is recognised worldwide,but when he attempted to accompany his friend and jockey Keiron Fallon into the weighing room at Chester Races,he was barr ed by a steward. In true celebrity form,he spluttered: ``Don't you know who I am?'' The weighing room sentinel shook his head. In spite of Owen asking Fallon to vouch for his identity,he was forced to retreat outside, to the delight of snappers with whom he'd been playing hide and seek all day.

NO SUCH rejection for Liverpool City Council chief executive David Henshaw,after losing his car last week. As passengers patiently lined up at Heathrow Airport's secu-rity gate,Liverpool's town hall panjandrum dashed to the front of the queue and muscled in. Clearly he feared his plane might follow his Audi which,apparently,has been Vorsprung Durch Technik-ed.

AMBITIOUS plans to return the last Cammell Laird-built ocean liner,RMS Windsor Castle, toLiverpool are not so hare- brained. Liverpool lacks a big conferencecentre,as the Battle of the Atlantic 60th anniversary organisers found,and this ship has large cargo holds which could be converted into meeting spaces. But where will she be located? If the proposed new Princes Landing Stage could be extended to its original full length, the rewould be room to moor in this high-profile, visiblelocation. Or is this a little too visionary?

BRITISH Railways was criticised for over- manning. Now porters and other station staff are but a dim memory. No such problem with our privatised system, where now three or four Securicor operatives are posted at Liverpool Lime Street platform entrances (in addition to ticket collectors).Worse still is Manchester Victoria's platoon of intimidating security staff forming a human wall across the pedestrian bridge exit. It really sours the pleasure of travelling by First North Western and Arriva Trains. And is it really cost-effective?

WITH interest in the pre-war Art Deco style reaching fever pitch,Mr Brocklebank muses on the fate of Herbert Rowse's fine 1934 Mersey Tunnel pillar, which originally graced the Liverpool entrance. Rumour contends this priceless artefact lies half-buried on the old Garden Festival site at Wiggins Island.Wouldn't now be an appropriate time for its exhumation and restoration?

IT MUST be tr ue - I heard it from a Scouser (No.421):A waitress at Speke Hall's National Trust cafeteria to a colleague,comparing the historic merits of the NT's McCartney and Lennon former homes at Forthlin Road and Mendips - ``Well, Forthlin Road's great,but Mendips is even better; it's like me nan's,but big ger.''