BRITNEY, AND RACE AGAINST TIME.

Byline: TIM HADDOCK Motor Sports

Britney Spears and NASCAR have decided to do a movie together. I believe this is the sixth sign of the apocalypse.

I can't say that I saw the first Britney Spears movie, ``Crossroads.'' I can say with dignity that I didn't have the faintest interest to pay $8 for Britney when I can get my fill of her for free watching Pepsi commercials.

With the announcement that Spears and NASCAR have teamed up to put stock car racing on film, I came to two conclusions: I have become too old for music, and NASCAR is becoming too hip for me.

I had my suspicions that music was beginning to pass me by when I heard ``What You Need'' by INXS described on the radio one day as an oldie but a goodie. This was before Michael Hutchins died but way after INXS had any sort of hit on the radio. I have to admit I made a vain attempt to stay up with trendy musical tastes, but my friends busted me out when I confused the Foo Fighters with the Fod Fighters on a Tower Records window poster. It was embarrassing. Now I stick to Prince CDs, KROQ flashback weekends and pray that Danny Elfman decides to put Oingo Boingo back together so I can go to one last concert.

As for NASCAR getting too hip for me, my first tipoff should have been when Dale Earnhardt Jr. put a black marker under the left headlight on his Chevy to memorialize Lisa ``Left Eye'' Lopez of the music group TLC. Lopez was killed in a plane crash the week before the race in which Junior decided to honor her memory.

To be honest, I couldn't tell the difference between Lisa ``Left Eye'' Lopez and ``Three Finger'' Mordecai Brown, who pitched for the Cubs the last time they won a World Series.

That Junior felt compelled to honor a singer who obviously provided him with some special meaning is commendable. That I couldn't recite a single line of any of her group's lyrics is, well, disheartening. I have reached the age when the songs of the day are little more than noise. I have to remind myself that to someone, somewhere, ``Oops, I Did It Again'' is as monumental as ``Let It Be'' by the Beatles. I still remember when ``Little Red Corvette'' was the best song ever written or recorded.

The early indications for the Spears-NASCAR offspring is that it will be the story of an inspirational owner's daughter who uses her experience and knowledge of auto racing to motivate an aging driver to regain his desire to return to NASCAR racing.

I am struggling with what could have inspired Britney to want to produce - her company, Britney Spears Productions, is a partner in the project - a NASCAR movie. It's not like auto racing movies have been overly successful in previous years. Just ask Sylvester Stallone how ``Driven'' was received.

This Spears movie, as yet untitled, will almost certainly be measured against ``Days of Thunder,'' with a blissfully happy Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. The best part about ``Days of Thunder'' was watching two NASCAR drivers beat to hell a couple of rental cars. Pointless but long.

If ``Days of Thunder'' is the bar Britney has to surpass, she'll need a car jack to get it off the ground.

Fortunately, ``Days of Thunder'' is not the best auto racing movie ever made. I am sure there are those who will disagree with me, but ``The Cannonball Run'' has to be the best auto racing movie of all time.

Dom Deluise as Captain Chaos was worth the price of admission. I can say that with utmost truth, considering the first and only time I have seen ``The Cannonball Run'' was on cable.

But the appeal of Captain Chaos is not the beginning and end of this movie. My favorite scene from ``The Cannonball Run'' was when Sammy Davis Jr. is trying to convince Dean Martin that driving a Ferrari dressed as priests is the best way to win the race.

Sammy: God is our co-pilot.

Dean: We're driving a Ferrari.

Sammy: Yeah.

Dean: There's two seats.

Sammy: Yeah.

Dean: Where's He gonna sit?

Let's see Jim Hart (who is writing the Britney-NASCAR movie) beat that.

THIS WEEK AT THE RACES

NASCAR WINSTON CUP

Dodge/Save Mart 350

Site: Sonoma, Calif.

Schedule: Today, qualifying (Fox Sports Net, 2 p.m.); Sunday, race (Fox, 11:30 a.m.).

Track: Sears Point Raceway (permanent road course, 1.99 miles, 10 turns).

Race distance: 224 miles, 112 laps.

Last race: Matt Kenseth picked up his third victory of the season and fourth of his career by winning the Michigan 400. Kenseth battled rookies Jimmie Johnson and Ryan Newman for most of the race before holding off Dale Jarrett on the last lap.

Fast facts: Seven of the 13 races in Sonoma have been won by three drivers -- Jeff Gordon, Ernie Irvan and Rusty Wallace. Gordon has three wins, and Irvan and Wallace two apiece. ... Three of the last five winners have started on the pole. Gordon has won the pole in three of the last four races. ... Kenseth recorded his sixth top-five and ninth top-10 finish last week. He is fifth in the standings, 190 points behind leader Sterling Marlin. ... Gordon is tied with Johnson for second in the standings, trailing Marlin by 110 points. But Gordon has yet to win a race this season and has a winless streak of 23 races. ... Kenseth's victory last week was the fifth of the season for Roush Racing. ... Sears Point Raceway is famous for ``The Chute,'' an 890-foot stretch developed in 1998 that connects Turns 4 and 7.

Next race: Pepsi 400, July 6, Daytona Beach, Fla.

On the net: www.nascar.com

CRAFTSMAN TRUCKS

Memphis 200

Site: Millington, Tenn.

Schedule: Today, qualifying, 1 p.m.; Saturday, race (ESPN, 10a.m.).

Track: Memphis Motorsports Park, (tri-oval, 0.75 miles, 11-degrees banking in turns).

Race distance: 150 miles, 200 laps.

Last race: Brendan Gaughan recorded his first NASCAR truck victory by taking the O'Reilly 400 at Texas Motor Speedway on June 2. Travis Kvapil, who won at Texas last fall, drove his Chevrolet to second place, 2.36 seconds behind. Gaughan, in his 24th career start, led the final 59 laps and became the ninth winner in as many truck races at Texas.

Next race: O'Reilly Auto Parts 250, July 6, Kansas City, Kan.

FORMULA ONE

European Grand Prix

Site: Nurburgring, Germany.

Schedule: Saturday, qualifying (Speed Channel, 6 a.m.); Sunday, race (Speed Channel, 7:30 a.m.).

Track: Nurburgring (permanent road course, 3.196 miles).

Race distance: 60 laps, 191.76 miles.

Last race: Michael Schumacher drove to Ferrari's 150th Formula One win with a dominating drive at the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal on June 9 that strengthened his grip on a record-tying fifth F1 championship. Schumacher recorded his 59th career win, six in eight races this season, and his fifth Canadian Grand Prix triumph.

Next race: British Grand Prix, July 7, Silverstone, England.

On the net: www.formula1.com.

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THIS WEEK AT THE RACES (see text)