BRITISH HISTORY MAKES FOR JOLLY GOOD SHOW.

Byline: - David Kronke TV Critic

If everyone had had a history professor like Simon Schama, we'd probably be a nation of historians today.

Schama, who taught at Oxford and Cambridge in England and currently teaches at Columbia University, transforms what seems a musty past in the hands of many teachers into the stuff of prime-time soaps. For his second installment of ``A History of Britain,'' presented this week on the History Channel, Schama covers some of England's most grisly eras, from the Elizabethan Age to its 18th-century expansion, with little success in what became the United States and with costly success in places like India.

In addition to the requisite names and dates, Schama adds much droll and vitriolic editorial commentary. There are no other historians or experts adding their insights - this is history purely as Schama sees it, and it's both a frightful and exhilarating thing.

Tonight's 2 1/2-hour introduction opens with the very troubled reign of Elizabeth, the Virgin Queen, and the sundry political and religious intrigues that informed her rule: Her own cousin, the staunchly Catholic Mary Queen of Scots, tried to have her offed because of her Protestantism, and even the pope offered blessings to anyone who would assassinate her.

The series is visually imaginative, as well: The ``vain, spiteful and arrogant'' Elizabeth (in Schama's words; she's also ``shockingly clever and wise'') is symbolized by a preening peacock; an albino peacock suggests the white powders she adorned herself in, as well as her inability to give her country an heir to her throne. Copious images of gorgeous period paintings, re-enactments and breathtaking vistas of the English countryside and castles offer an appropriate sense of scale to the epic history.

Tonight's episode also traces the post-Elizabethan period, ruled ham- fistedly by Charles I, who repeatedly battled Parliament and in general caused havoc until he was finally beheaded in public. Tuesday's episode follows the grand misadventures of Oliver Cromwell, who helped depose Charles but led many grisly and unnecessary battles. ``Righteousness would kill a lot of people,'' Schama observes, adding, ``mystical rapture and politics don't go well together, at least not in England.'' Conflagrations and the plague also fit into the mix.

On Wednesday, the entrepreneurial leadership of Robert Walpole, whom Schama dubs the country's first Prime Minister, is featured: ``Walpole had the goods, in every sense of the word,'' the historian notes, as the political boss builds fortunes for himself as well as his cronies. Accumulating real estate informs the early 18th century: ``This is the battle the British really like to fight - war by gardening,'' Schama sardonically observes.

The final episode, ``The Wrong Empire,'' underscores how England, built on the precept of liberty, summarily goes about attempting to enslave the rest of the world. Naturally, colonists in North America are highly resistant, but in the Caribbean and India, the empire asserts itself handily. (A recently released companion book expands and enriches Schama's clever insights.)

One comforting thing viewers can take from ``A History of Britain'' is how often folks believed they were living in the end times - often with persuasive evidence - only to repeatedly be proven wrong. At seven hours, this segment of ``A History of Britain'' ends too swiftly; the good news is, he still has 250 years to cover in the (one hopes, very near) future.

``A HISTORY OF BRITAIN''

What: England, from the Elizabethan era to the Revolutionary War and imperialism in India.

Where: History Channel.

When: 9 tonight through Thursday.

Our rating: Three and one half stars

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Historical re-enactments flesh out the History Channel's splendid series ``A History of Britain,'' hosted by Simon Schama.