BRING ON THE PAIN SHAQ IN THE NBA FINALS ALMOST TOO MUCH TO BEAR.

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

This is going to hurt. You just know it will. Would call it the Big Hurt, but that one's of the few already taken.

Shaquille O'Neal returns to the NBA Finals tonight.

All together now -- AHHHH!

It's the Lakers' worst nightmare. The Big Whatever taking his new team to the Finals, while the Lakers make a first-round exit.

It's painful, and going to get worse.

Because you just know the Heat are going to win. The knife has to go all the way in. Has to be twisted.

The Mavericks are a swell team and all, but they could have Steve Nash and Antawn Jamison back right now, and the Heat would find a way to win. You know, karma.

In a healthy, interested Shaq, the Heat again have the game's most dominating player, which he will no doubt be quick to remind us all.

His return to the NBA's premier stage leaves the Lakers faithful in a genuine quandary.

He is, after all, an ex-Laker who along with dear pal Kobe Bryant led the Lakers to three consecutive NBA titles. Normally, there is a warm attachment to such players as they move on with their careers.

Thanks for everything, and best of luck.

But Shaq, of course, is not and has never been, your basic NBA player.

He left in a pout, slinging arrows at anyone remotely associated with the West Coast. He ripped Kobe (again and again), ripped Jerry Buss, ripped Mitch Kupchak, ripped the City of Los Angeles, ripped your cousin Shirley and her little dog too. Jack Nicholson somehow escaped.

It was all unnecessary, but Shaq couldn't help himself. He still can't, of course, despite that staged detente with Kobe earlier this season at Staples Center.

Shaq and Kobe will forever remain entwined, like it or not. No matter what either does from here on, their names will be linked by those three titles. They even have baby girls minutes apart.

Both players were full of ego and unable to recognize just how special they had it. They didn't really have to be grown-ups to make it work. Something approaching the teen-age years should have gotten it done.

Alas, boys being boys, they couldn't work it out, held grudges and soon it was clear one was going to have to go.

Shaq figured Buss favored Kobe and demanded to be traded. Buss and Kupchak obliged, got the best quick deal they could manage, and traded him to the warmth and glamour of Miami. Not exactly being sent to the Siberia of the NBA.

He should have figured he was dreaming, got down on his knees and thanked Buss and Kupchak, but he couldn't be that big. The Big Sensitive One went into rip mode, and aside from a few moments, has never stopped. Like he can't let it go.

This week, he was at it again, taking a backhanded swipe now at Phil Jackson when he praised Pat Riley by saying: ``I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but he's actually been the best coach I've ever had.''

That's right, better than the guy who coached him to three titles. The one who has won nine NBA titles to Riley's four.

Back in 1999, Shaq said of Jackson: ``He's like a white version of my father.''

This week he said of Riley: ``He's the Italian version of my father.''

Maybe Shaq has all these insecurities because he has daddy issues.

But the really silly thing he said this week was of Buss and the reason for his trade to the Heat: ``He didn't want to pay me.''

Right, Buss never wanted to pay him. Guess that $175million he signed him to over the years was chump change. And that $40-plus-million offered for another two years was an insult.

Shaq wanted the max, and since he was already set to earn over $27 million in the final year of his contract in 2005, it was an easy decision for Buss. Shaq was 32 and Kobe 25, and my 10-year-old could have made that call.

Shaq ended up signing an extension with the Heat at the $20 million per he rejected with the Lakers, and just to rub it in, lost the weight for Riley he never would for Buss.

So now the ingrate is back, and for Lakers fans, it's a kick in the stomach. A reminder of what could have been for the Lakers if the two superstars had just put the wah-wahs behind them.

Dwyane Wade plays the role of Kobe, Shaq stays healthy, and they're in the Finals and going to win. They have all that championship experience with Shaq and Riley, and forget the odds makers, the Heat will win if only to cause purple and gold fans anguish.

When they do, you know Shaq is going to revel in it. Going to gloat and say it proves he was right. And the Lakers will be left answering, what have you done since the trade?

It's going to be awful. The Lakers will have to suck it up, too, because what choice do they have?

After all these years, Shaq is still their baby.

stephen.dilbeck(at)dailynews.com.

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CAPTION(S):

11 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- color) no caption (Shaquille O'Neal)

Nathaniel S. Butler/Getty Images

(2) UDONIS HASLEM

(3) DIRK NOWITZKI

(4) ANTOINE WALKER

(5) JOSH HOWARD

(6) SHAQUILLE O'NEAL

(7) DESAGANA DIOP

(8) JASON WILLIAMS

(9) JASON TERRY

(10) DWYANE WADE

(11) ADRIAN GRIFFIN

Box:

NBA FINALS MATCHUPS