BREW-SKI ANYONE? SOBER UP.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

So why did Bode Miller, the new 60-Minute Man, waste his time apologizing for getting wasted?

Who out there hasn't pounded down a half-dozen whiskey sours, a few dirty martinis and a Salty Dog chaser, hoisted themselves out of the big leather chair by the fireplace, struggled to strap on the bindings, borrowed a few crooked poles and thrown themselves down the triple-black-diamond run knowing full well that, if something went horribly wrong, at least there'd be another person with lots of down padding, or a stately pine tree with a thick trunk, ready to break their wicked somersault?

It's not like some Ranger Rick can slap you with an SUI just for breaking your back on Brokeback Mountain Ski Resort and Filling Station, right?

So, is it all downhill for Bode from here?

Will they be setting up a sobriety checkpoint and a spike strip between gates 8 and 9 at the Winter Games slalom just in case?

--Are we goin' with Turin or Torino? Or is it Tarantino? And has anyone been able to find the freakin' place on a Yahoo map of Italy?

--What does non-novelty act Michelle Wie have left to learn from getting squashed like a lady bug at PGA Tour events? How has she done in the women's pro tourneys so far, by the way?

--How many handoffs from David Carr will it take Reggie Bush to realize the offensive line he left behind at USC provided much better security than the group of tattered Texans who'll be closing holes for him this fall?

Will that be an area code on Bush's eye black or just real black eyes?

--Will LenDale White have a longer NFL shelf life than Bush? Than Matt Leinart? Than Vince Young?

--What's the deadline for Leinart to apply for another year of college eligibility? Do we have to contact CAA for his official statement on what his final grade in that ballroom dancing class was?

--Mike McCarthy?

--What's Buffalo if it ain't full of Mularkey?

--Anyone signed Sammy Sosa yet?

--Do you really give a spit about that $17,000 fine that the Washington Redskins' Sean Taylor got for his misguided loogie?

--How is it that Bruce Sutter is more worthy of the Hall o' Fame in 2006 than he was 12 years ago when his name first popped up on the mail-in ballot? Doesn't this finally expose the fact that it's really just a matter of who else isn't eligible and what first-ballot stars are coming up in the classes ahead that determines who really ``deserves'' to be rubber stamped each year?

--Has Grey Goose Gossage helped or hurt his future enshrinement by blasting the beleaguered panel of voters?

And if he does get them all to rethink the political process, do Steve Garvey, Jim Rice, Jack Morris and Bert Blyleven finally have reason for some optimism that the grand selectors finally let them enter the exclusive Chateau d' Cooperstown through the front door?

--Garv has nothing to do with this Angelina Jolie predicament, does he?