BOYS WILL BE BOYS: STUDY FINDS SONS TAKE YEARS OFF LIFE.

Byline: Dana Bartholomew Staff Writer

They tear their best shirts, pilfer Dad's beer, ``borrow'' the family car and disappear for hours - or days - on end.

Boys - from ``Dennis the Menace'' to ``Malcolm in the Middle,'' can rattle a good mom's nerves - and take years off her life, according to a study of being released today.

Every Li'l Rascal or Bart Simpson borne by mom, no matter how well or ill behaved, cuts 34 weeks off her life, the study says. But ask them about their wayward sons, and mom's eyes merely shine.

``He took off three years,'' said Ursula Rahn, 55, owner of German Cold Cuts in Woodland Hills, pointing to her only son, Frank, 31. ``But he gave me five years back in joy - and with the grandkids, another 20.''

A mother's toll comes partly from boy babies being more demanding in the womb. As for easing mom's burden by pitching in at home - forget it, according to a study of Finnish families published today in the journal Science.

The numbers were provided by Finnish churches that carefully recorded data between 1640 and 1870 about the Sami tribe, which lived by hunting, fishing and herding reindeer.

The information was so detailed that graduate student Samuli Helle was able to draw the boy vs. girl baby comparison, which he used for his master's thesis at the University of Turku.

Helle found a mother's lifespan was not affected by the total number of the children she bore and reared. However, the report shows a definite drop in her lifespan for each son she had.

For each daughter, her lifespan increased because ``of the human family system in which the daughters help their mothers in everyday tasks,'' the report says.

The number of sons or daughters had no effect on the father's life.

If there is any comfort to today's mothers, it is that ``I think the effect in modern society is not so great, because resources today are not as limited as they were 200 years ago,'' Helle said in an interview.

It's hard to say how much Sami lifespans apply to today, says Virpi Lummaa, who worked with Helle in Finland and now is a postdoctoral fellow in the University of Cambridge zoology department.

``First, women have far fewer babies today,'' she says. ``Also, our food supplies are not as limited as they were then, so women can afford to have more sons. And also, with modern medical care, people tend to live longer.''

Mothers in the San Fernando Valley, however, aren't so sure.

Debra Mirabella, 34, of Simi Valley, has to ask her 13-year-old son a dozen times to clean his room.

Phyllis Englander, 61, of Woodland Hills, found it tougher to rear her daughter - until the day her son got a car.

``My boy was easy to raise until he got wheels,'' said the former fifth- grade teacher. ``Then I lost total control.''

Mayra Veliz, 27, of Canoga Park, said her smiling 2-year-old, despite his charm, can be a hellion compared with his two older sisters.

``Thirty-four weeks? I think more than that,'' she said, cradling a smiling Jason. ``The girls are easier. He has a temper, like Grandpa.''

Yet when the toddler does something he's not supposed to do, ``he comes up to me and says, 'Mommy, I love you,''' Veliz said.

Wayne and Kevin Arnold on ``The Wonder Years'' may have proven the adage, ``Boys will by boys.'' The Cartwright clan on ``Bonanza'' may have showed how boys become men. ``My Three Sons'' may have tested the patience of dear ol' dad.

But it was June Cleaver who always felt the pain of young Beaver's mishaps.

``He was a devil when he grew up - he did everything; you name it, he did it,'' said Helen Berlin, 80, of Woodland Hills, wistfully recalling the upbringing of her son, Terry.

Once, when he was 3, Terry disappeared with a pal in their little red wagon. Police conducted a dragnet. Neighbors fanned out for the search.

``I was scared to death; I thought he'd been kidnapped,'' she said. ``They (turned up) in some back yard playing.''

Some parents, professors and teachers, however, think girls can be harder to raise than boys. Girls are more emotional, while boys are more active, said Richard McDonald, a therapist and professor at California State University, Northridge.

``Every other day we had to have therapy sessions with the girls,'' said Englander, who taught fifth- and sixth-graders in the San Fernando Valley for more than 30 years. ``The boys just went out to the playground and ran it off.''

``The teen-age years, with driving, I was afraid,'' said Rahn, of her son Frank. ``He was a daredevil.''

The New York Times contributed to this story.

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2 photos

Photo:

(1) Mayra Veliz, with Jason, 2, says raising her daughters is much easier than raising her son, in line with a study being released today that shows sons take years off life.

(2) Mayra Veliz, with children, from left, Melanie, 4, Jason, 2, Gabriela, 6, believes the Finnish study hits the nail on the head: Raising a son does take years off her life.

Charlotte Schmid-Maybach/Staff Photographer