BOYDEN'S BUNCH: Batwoman; THE WEIRD AND WACKY WORLD OF MALCOLM BOYDEN.

Byline: MALCOLM BOYDEN 

THERE is a soothing air of normality when you step into the home of Chris Sherlock.

Then, out of the blue, you're confronted by a tray of wriggling mealworms at the foot of the stairs.

And in the hallway of her Kings Norton home there's a small Pipistrelle bat lying in a purpose-built wooden hut.

'He's the only one in the house at the moment,' Chris yells as any semblance of sanity slips slowly away.

'That's not counting two in the freezer!'

Chris is Birmingham's very own batwoman. She idolises the creatures so much that they've practically taken over her life.

As treasurer of the Birmingham and Black Country Bat Group, she organises walks and talks to spread her bat gospel far and wide.

She's also a licensed batworker. And with the mammals both an endangered and a protected species, that's where the serious side of her hobby kicks in.

'Bats are amazing,' says Chris,who is proud to be labelled batty. 'They've had a terrible press over the years because many people associate them with horror films.

'Think Dracula, zombies and blood-ravishing virgins and you'll probably think bats.

'If the makers of a Scooby Doo cartoon want to portray scariness, they just throw in a few bats. It's the shorthand for saying nasty things are about to happen.

'But that's not fair. Bats are very sociable and relatively intelligent for their size - and their poo makes excellent fertiliser!

'At this time of the year when they're getting ready to hibernate, they're fat, sleek and extremely sexy. I can't resist a bat in peak condition, but then who can?

'Even vampire bats are kind, caring and cuddly although you'd have to be jolly careful if you did cuddle one!'

Her love of bats began when she was nine and chose them for a school project on pets. Other girls of her age were more wrapped up in their dogs, horses and rabbits.

'I was always a bit rebellious,' says Chris.

The batbug truly began to bite in 1986 when she joined an event at Birmingham University to celebrate International Year of the Bat.

'We spent the weekend trudging around the city looking for bats,' she recalls. 'I was instantly hooked. Even now I take my bat detector everywhere, even on holiday.'

Chris will spend night after night bat-spotting. She has encountered thousands of flying mammals over her 18 years of dedicated searching.Her favourite hunting grounds are Cradley Heath and Netherton, which have become the bat hotspots of the West Midlands. 'Sometimes urban forests can be just as good as the real thing,' she explains. 'We haven't got a fantastic habitat in Birmingham and the Black Country, but it's better than people think.

'Bat activity starts 20 minutes after sunset and continues until 20 minutes before dawn, so I have plenty of time to track them down.'

Over the years, she has cared for more than 250 sick animals.

'I've always got a few in the house,' she says. 'I get calls, day and night, from people who have found an injured bat.

'I'll collect it, feed it on the mealworms, exercise it in my bedroom for a couple of nights and then let it go.' If a bat is beyond her help, it goes into the freezer and is sent off to the National Bat Conservation Trust.

'Because they're wild animals, I can't keep bats in captivity too long or prolong their life more than nature intended,' explains Chris with a heavy heart.

'If you asked me to get one out of the freezer now, I'd burst into tears,' she adds, briefly stroking the tasteful silver bat pendant that hangs from her neck.

Her licensed batwork includes providing advice for individuals, firms and schools that have discovered roosts.

Because the animals can't be removed or disturbed, it is Chris's job to advise, make suggestions and alert English Nature so the animals can be treated correctly.

On a lighter note, she often gets hysterical middle-of-the-night emergency calls from people who have bats that have mistakenly flown into their bedroom.

'I just grab hold of my nets and off I go,' she says.

Chris, a trained speech and language therapist by day, has spotted 11 of the 16 bat species in Britain - although she is currently hot on the trail of a brand new breed, the Nathusius Pipistrelle.

'If I could see a baby Nathusius it would make my bat career complete,' she says overflowing with bat excitement.

'It would be so cool. I'd be making scientific history,' she adds with a broad grin. 'You can't imagine how amazing that would be.'

The Bat Conservation Trust can be contacted on 0845 1300 288. Or log on to website www.bats.org.uk

BIGGEST

Bats are the biggest eaters in the animal kingdom. A Pipistrelle, the smallest bat found in Britain, eats one-third of its own body weight - around 3,000 midges - a night!

UK bats only eat insects which they catch in flight or pluck off the surface of the water, foliage or the ground.

HAIRIEST

Bats have the hairiest feet in the mammal world. The Daubenton's bat uses its excessively large (and extremely hairy) back feet to scoop up insects from the water surface.

RAREST

Bats are the rarest mammals in the UK. The Greater Mouse-Eared Bat became the first mammal to become extinct in this country since the grey wolf more than 250 years ago. The Lesser Horseshoe Bat, often found in the caves of Kinver, is on the 'red list', making it as endangered as the rarest tigers and rhinos.

SCOOBIEST

Bats have appeared in every episode of Scooby Doo since the show made its Saturdaymorning debut on CBS in September, 1969. The first image on episode one, entitled What a Night for a Knight, was a Kalong Bat flying out of a cave!

EAR-IEST

Bats have the most sensitive ears of any mammal in the animal world. A Brown Long-Eared Bat can hear a ladybird walking along a leaf from several metres away.

LOUDEST

Bats give out a high-frequency call which is four times louder than the legal limit of a nightclub and as noisy as a jet engine. They are able to fly and feed in the dark by giving off a stream of highpitched squeals. They listen to the returning echoes and build up a distinctive 'sound picture' of the surroundings.