BOSS GAGS ON BIT OF GINGER.

Byline: KEN LLOYD On the Job

Q We were discussing operations in a departmental meeting when our manager misinterpreted some information and made a questionable recommendation. I gingerly corrected him, but he has been upset with me since then, and I'm not sure what to do about it. B.F.

A On the one hand, you may be dealing with a manager who takes even the slightest bit of feedback far too personally; or, perhaps your ginger corrections were more bitter than you think. The best way to figure out what to do is to look at the incident more carefully.

The fact that you corrected him, rather than correcting the misinformation, indicates that your comments may have been more of an attack than you might think. In this type of situation, it is typically more helpful to correct data rather than correct people. You should meet with your manager and tell him what you really intended with your comments. If he interpreted them differently from what you meant, you should offer an apology. Increased awareness of your own style can help prevent this type of problem from recurring.

At the same time, if your comments did not come close to a personal attack, then you are dealing with a manager who has brought an extra dose of insecurity to the job. This means that you should still offer an apology, while recognizing that increased awareness of his style can help prevent this type of problem from recurring. One larger problem is that his baggage can stifle communication, coordination, creativity and problem-solving in your department. This is not going to do much for his job security.

Q When I joined this company, I was introduced to an individual who was assigned to be my mentor. He seemed friendly and knowledgeable, but he is never available to give me any help. He puts me off every time I approach him, and I'm thinking about going to management. What do you say? D.I.

A Company management doesn't typically designate various individuals to be mentors because of their ability to hide. Management would most likely be quite put off by a mentor who puts employees off.

Since you have made several attempts to meet with your mentor, but you have only met resistance, you should meet with your manager instead. In such a meeting, rather than making any disparaging remarks about the mentor, simply indicate that you believe that he is too busy to give you the help, guidance and direction that you seek, adding that you believe it is not fair to him to have this responsibility.

With this approach, you certainly get your message across, but you are doing so in a positive, supportive and constructive way. You should also ask your manager if there is anything you should be doing to help build the working relationship with your mentor, and be sure to follow any of these suggestions.

If time passes and your mentor is still invisible, then it is apparent that your company's mentoring program is invisible too. In such a case, your mentor is actually giving you some very valuable information about the company.

Q I went to lunch with my friend who used to work here. I thought he had contacted me just for the sake of being friendly, but the entire lunch conversation was centered on his home-based business and how he wants me to be part of his network. I told him I'm not cut out for it, and he said I'm a natural. He just called and gave me five different dates to come to a meeting. How do I turn this off? E.K.

A There's a great word that fits perfectly in these situations. It's called, ``No!'' If you are not interested in joining his organization, you should tell him on a polite, firm and businesslike basis that you are not going to be pursuing this opportunity. You can add that you value his friendship, you appreciate his thinking of you and you wish him the best of luck and success, but you will not be joining him in this endeavor.

It does not matter that he has presented you with five possible meeting dates, because even if he had 500 meeting dates, you are not going to attend. This may be the best business deal in the entire world, but if you are not interested in participating, that is where the discussion ends.

He sounds like someone who will continue to call you for a while, but once he finally realizes that you are not going to budge, the calls will stop. It will be interesting for you to see if this is where the friendship stops, too.