BOOK HELPS PARENTS ASK QUESTIONS.

Byline: Angela M. Lemire Staff Writer

Laurel Bear, a longtime volunteer with anti-crime task forces, knew that Santa Clarita's standing as one of the nation's safest cities, in and of itself, did not immunize local children from exposure to risky behavior.

She knew that no such vacuum would ever exist, but on a home-by-home basis, parents could help identify and prevent teen problems before they become communitywide epidemics.

Bear created ``Straight Answers to Tough Questions,'' a 45-page booklet to guide parents better understand their children and identify problems early on for intervention.

The booklet now is available to residents free at City Hall and Los Angeles County sheriff's stations, through joint publishing efforts by the city and the Santa Clarita Valley sheriff's station. The city paid $7,000 to produce 5,000 copies of the booklet. More may be produced if those go fast, but city officials said they didn't know if future copies would be available at no cost.

``With all these years of working with at-risk behavior and seeing all the issues that parents struggle with, I felt the city was long overdue for something like this,'' Bear said. ``Education is the key to preventing risky behavior.''

The Valencia woman's experience as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor, high school and college-level educator and special education administrator for the Alhambra School District had taught Bear that communication between parents and teen children often is difficult - sometimes rocky and heartbreaking to either generation.

``Straight Answers to Tough Questions,'' initially written for Alhambra school and later tailored to include Santa Clarita resources, uses language geared toward both parents and children.

``A child may pick this up and read it . . . or maybe a parent will ask them to read it,'' Bear said. ``It might help them identify a problem within themselves. Then again, they may not agree with anything they read. Either way, it's not a lost learning experience. Sometimes we learn the most through disagreeing with something.''

Bear's booklet addresses a variety of common issues that arise in households, ranging from permission to see R-rated movies, high school, friends, sleepovers, parties and more sensitive topics, such as sexuality and drug abuse.

Using frank terms that relate to today's teens, the booklet informs parents for example, that a ``420'' code on their pager is an invitation to smoke marijuana and that frequent use of eye drops, incense and mouthwash may be indicators of drug or alcohol use.

Before asking a child if he or she is sexually active, the booklet suggests that parents work out their feelings about sexuality first, and bring up the subject only when they are able to speak calmly.

``My goals in making this was to create a simple and parent-friendly resource,'' said Bear, who has two daughters in middle and elementary schools.

She added, ``It's not to take the place of parenting but is a supplement to guide us in how we already raise our children. This book doesn't claim to have all the answers, but it gives some direction on how to come up with them yourself.''

Besides providing lists of questions parents can ask themselves or their children to identify at-risk behavior, as well as tips for effective communication, ``Straight Answers to Tough Questions'' provides a telephone directory of local professional resources for issues ranging from tattoo removal, counseling, law enforcement, medical and legal resources. Free services are noted.

The directory also lists a number of community-based groups and organizations that provide teens and families with positive outlets, such as the community center in Newhall, Boys & Girls Club, YMCA and city sports complex, as well as anti-crime groups that parents can join.

``It's not easy to raise kids in today's society,'' said city Community Services Supervisor Dianna Boone. ``In order to improve or maintain the quality of life (of the community), it just doesn't come down to the Sheriff's Department anymore. We feel it comes down to a partnership that individuals can create with their community.''

Boone said Bear's efforts are good examples of that partnership, having been involved with local crime task forces for years and voluntarily creating the booklet.

``She's an incredible resource,'' Boone said.

``Bottom line - parents are the ones who have to make the decisions,'' said Bear, later adding, ``If we come in with our eyes covered all the time, we're enabling certain behaviors to continue.''