BOB DOLE CHALLENGES IDEA OF WHAT SENIORS ARE 'SUPPOSED' TO DO.

Byline: Dennis McCarthy 

I know I should be thinking about flat taxes, balanced budgets, dirty tricks, and other assorted campaign '96 shenanigans today, but all I can think about this campaign season is the stamina of that darn Bob Dole.

Seventy-two-year-old men are not supposed to be trudging through the snows of Iowa, on their way to New Hampshire, pitching their resumes for a job that has enough stress built in to give even a maharishi an ulcer.

They're supposed to be tapping into their IRAs, and bouncing the grandkids on their knees without a care in the world heavier than "what's for dinner?"

They're not supposed to be running around the country shaking hands, kissing babies and catching the red eye to the next town for another rally in sub-zero weather.

They're supposed to be out on a lake somewhere casting line, or kneeling in the garden trying to figure out why the radishes are a little slow coming up this year.

They're supposed to be spending the afternoon standing in line with the wife for the early bird special, not standing at the dais on the rubber-chicken circuit being grilled by the local Kiwanis club.

People fortunate enough to make it into their seventh decade are supposed to be checking the oil in their Winnebagos or working on their putts and drives - not running for President of the United States against guys who aren't old enough yet to begin collecting their social security checks.

Bob Dole's been eligible to collect his for a decade now, but there he is - an old war horse, still out on the campaign trail at 72 and playing hardball with the young guns.

Which, in my mind, makes Dole a very dangerous man - not because of his politics, but because of his work ethic.

The guy's a threat to anyone who's over 50 and dreaming about an early retirement. By example, he is challenging that great American goal we all hold near and dear to our hearts - spending our twilight years enjoying the leisurely life of retirement.

You just know that with Dole's work ethic and insatiable drive, the Bible he's sworn in with will still be warm when he starts talking about leading by example - upping the retirement age from 65 to 70, or beyond.

As it is now, you can actually start collecting at 62 if you're particularly prone to bouts of spring fever like me, and will settle for a smaller slice of the social security pie you helped bake.

But I figure retiring at 62 and collecting a government check is just about a goner for my generation, and 65 can't be far behind if Dole gets in.

I can see President Dole standing in front of that eagle in the White House press room, glaring into the TV camera and daring older Americans to stop complaining about their aches and pains - prodding them to find their spine, and follow him.

Who needs to worry about Medicare when you still have a job at 80 with all the bennies?

"If I can work 12 hour days well into my 70s, why can't you?" he'll preach, signing his 'work till you drop' bill into law.

I'm telling you Dole's a menace to anyone who's into early-bird dinners, and senior bus trips to Vegas. You won't have the time.

It'll be suits and ties, and time cards until at least 75 in a Dole administration, trust me. This guy isn't going to cut us slackers an inch.

That's why it's been so comforting to have Bill Clinton in the White House. Clinton's still young, and has other things to worry about, like Hillary.

Clinton respects and fears his elders.

Dole is an elder. He knows better. It's tougher for AARP to fool or scare him.

Now, I'm not talking about volunteer or part-time work here - or keeping the full-time job you've had for 20 years and still may enjoy or need.

Volunteer or consulting work for retirees is a great way to keep the mind fresh, and still give you the latitude to get up and go when you want.

But Dole's not out campaigning for a part-time job as benefits coordinator at the local senior citizen center.

Nope, the senator from Kansas wants the toughest, most stressful, powerful, full-time job in the world at age 72. Actually, 73 if he gets it in November.

So don't say I didn't warn you. If he makes it, the pressure will be on all of us. If Bob Dole's willing to work that hard at that age, maybe the rest of us will have to let the hammock and golf clubs wait, too.