BIG CYPRESS, FL, NYE 2000.

The alligators here eat dogs and small children, while the mosquitos like everyone. When someone gave the Seminole natives land in the middle of the Everglades, we don't think they ever imagined 70,000 people here celebrating the turn of a century.

We thought we'd be in Times Square, too, but an opportunity to babysit 70,000 Phish fans in the middle the swamp is getting us out of the task of finding a place to watch the ball drop and not freeze - we just have to watch out for rattlers.

Besides, we've now safely explored Disney's Animal Kingdom and examined the precise technical execution of the elaborate plans by Tishman Construction, including the central Tree of Life designed of carved surprises that we never got to appreciate fully. There was no wait at all on Christmas morning and we zoomed through the mazes to see the 3-D "Bugs' Life" in the undertree hidden theater.

On the concert site, the promoter has built Phish their own backstage swimming pool in a palm-lined compound. The concert-goers have a new tent city laid out along streets named for albums and avenues that start with First nearest the stage. There are fake New Orleans-style buildings set up along a new boardwalk to provide places for concert-goers to explore. They can walk over a wooden bridge to an Island where cow bones lay around or explore small native huts that will glow from within. Artists have created 20-foot-high flowers that are photosensitized to open with the daylight and follow the sun.

We checked out the local buildings, including the rodeo theater and school, and checked into our sleeping quarters in a native Chikee hut at Billy's Swamp Safari. It's up on stilts (above the marsh), and has wooden boards for windows over the mosquito screening. A kerosene lamp, an old army footlocker and two camp bunks with moth-eaten blankets complete the fixings. Of course, the outhouse is close by, and had the de rigueur crescent moon cut into the door.

As a friend said, "I need a day spa after this!" Honey, give me a week!

Is luxury apartment marketer Louise Sunshine, president of The Sunshine Group, looking to work for Donald J. Trump again? The two conceived the Trump Tower condos and worked together exclusively until she started helping other developers. When she told us her pick for Deal of the Century was the development of Trump Tower, we asked her if she was trying to work for the now Presidential Candidate

She first said "No, because Trump Tower was her honest answer. But she called back a few minutes later. "I'll be his Vice President," she added laughing. "You can print that." Trump did say he'd like a woman for that job.

The luxury redevelopment at 838 Fifth Avenue is old news. But we'll bet you didn't know the Athena Group has purchased adjoining townhouses and is adding bulk and height to the apartment building to be.

We wish you all a healthy, happy, Y2K compatible and prosperous new century!