BEST HAPPENS WHILE DANCING.

Byline: POSTED BY CAROL ROCK valleynews.com

Shameless plug for one of my favorite songs from ``White Christmas'' aside, I have received many, many e-mails and calls from people who read my story about the cotillion classes that ran Nov. 16. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends all wanted to know how to get in touch with the teacher. ``This is a great idea for children,'' wrote one correspondent.

Another woman called, a grandmotherly type with the sweetest voice I've ever heard. Just listening to her message took me to a peaceful place where voices were never raised and people waited for the first person to stop talking before bursting in.

What I didn't have room for in the story was to tell how Martine Monaghan (who can be reached at [phone]) and I bonded over coffee when we met at Starbucks. I went expecting to find someone sipping tea from a china cup, wearing gloves. What I noticed first about her was that she had the coolest bright pink shoes I'd ever seen and a winning smile. My stereotype of cotillion was shattered on the spot and we spent two hours talking about kids and theater and NASCAR and how people just want to be treated kindly.

Martine's mother Gloria, who was one of the founders of Beverly Hills Cotillion, discovered several years ago that manners and dancing were the keys to success -- a philosophy her daughter embraces and imparts to all her students. The young men and women are instructed to dress properly -- no cheeky boxers perched at the top of the jeans, no skin-tight plunging tops or scanty clothing is tolerated. The proper shoes -- leather soles, no sneakers or (gasp) flip- flops -- are required and yes, the girls must wear gloves. I found out by talking to the mothers that the gloves were not only stylish, but worn so that nobody would feel sweaty palms.

What amazed me when I visited the class were the smiles on every single student's face. As the dance master took them through elementary steps, they paid attention and followed along, eager for the next bit of instruction. These were kids I've run into at Starbucks and the mall who before hadn't given me a second look. That night, I was greeted as an honored guest.

It's encouraging to find that manners and dancing -- the foxtrot, swing and waltz are in their repertoire -- have not faded from our popular culture. The overwhelming response proves that some things never go out of style and that all hope has not been abandoned.

Martine shared a story to illustrate why she continues to teach the A-Z of etiquette. It happened at a NASCAR race. She and her husband were walking out of a restaurant into a hallway lined with race fans sitting along the wall. As she walked through the door, a man who looked as if he'd been around the track a bit stood and approached her husband as if they were long-lost friends. She asked him later who the man was and he said, ``He just wanted to shake my hand because I was the first man who opened the door for his wife.''

Ouch. Have we gotten that bad? Sounds like we're getting close.

It would be nice to keep manners in mind while we're driving to work or navigating holiday traffic, or waiting in line during the holiday season. A smile and patience could be at the top of a frazzled clerk's wish list -- why not be the person bearing just that gift?

Martine and her mother would be so proud.